Saturday, December 29, 2007

I hate you SI. I hate you so much...

Ok... so, my neighbor Vinny, his girlfriend Amanda, and myself tied one on like no one's business last night. Well... I did... I'm not too sure about them = ).

So, Amanda's friend drove us to the ferry terminal. How nice! We will have a ride back, right? NO. Not right.

Let's back up for a second. Vinny and Amanda have a flight to make at 7am. Yes, that's right, 7am. They wanted to leave the bar around 1am. Reasonable. Sleep on the plane sorta thing. The driving friend knows this.

Around, oh, 2am, this girl decides she doesn't want to leave. Nice. How considerate. Personally, I don't care. I don't have to be up at any particular time today. I don't care. I DO however, think that is messed up and that you shouldn't do that to your friends. I wouldn't ever do that to someone.

Vinny, Amanda, Anthony, and I go to get a slice at the pi33aria on the corner (yes, it was leet... that was actually on the awning... the bar was on 33rd and 3rd). Anthony offered to drive us to the ferry. Very nice guy. If not for him, we would have missed the 230am ferry and would have had to sit there until 330am.

Yes, it's the tiny boat. The venerable "John A. Noble". I don't know who John A. Noble was, nor do I really care. He must have been some kind of horrible person b/c they named this shitty little tugboat ferry after him. I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang and a rocking ferry boat, I am not so sure.

We get off the ferry and walk to the "taxi" ramp. They are not taxi's at all. The are guys who drive normal cars and call themselves "car service". Whatever.. just take my home. We get into the minivan cab and there is already a guy waiting there. We are the 2nd fare. Fantastic.

Mr. 2nd fare has no idea where he is going. He is on the phone with his stupid inner city friend who also does not know how to guide him to where he needs to go. I am ready to kill someone.

I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang, a rocking ferry boat, and a jerky minivan in the rain, I am definitely not so sure... at all. I ask the driver to pull over. I need to give some back. Picture Jackie Chan in "The Legend of Drunken Master". I want to continue fighting, but, my levels aren't right. I feel better, but not by much.

Finally, Mr. 2nd fare figures out where he is going and gets dropped the hell off. The driver proceeds to our area. We guide him using the most direct route. It's like 345am. I want to die.

He misses this turn and pulls a U. He missed that turn and pulls a U. Is this some sort of cosmic joke? Are you for real guy? Lemme see your license! So he gets to our block. I say to him "3/4 of the way down, on the left". He proceeds to jerk stop at every house as if to say "this one? this one? this one? this one? this one?" thus straining even further my estomachal fortitude. He finally jerk stops close enough to my house.

I roll in like a tornado and go to sleep. I hope Vinny and Amanda had a decent flight.

And... to the girl that "didn't want to leave" b/c she was "having too much fun". Fuck you, bitch. I hope I never see you again. You are messed up and mostly what is wrong with people today. I wish you all the trouble and frustration that you caused us.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Have you ever....

... met the perfect person, but the timing and circumstances are just not right? Sigh...

Friday, December 21, 2007

Good news, everyone!

It looks like things may be starting to turn around and this rut that I have been in may be coming to a screeching halt.

As I was packing and getting ready to leave for home, I got a call from my friend. I have been talking with this friend about joining his company, but up until a few months ago, it didn't seem stable enough. I have been talking with him over the past few weeks regarding his business and how it's going. Turns out they are having fulfillment problems, i.e. not enough people to do the work that they are bringing in.

They are using cool technologies (none IBM, thank god) and doing very cool work. So, he tells me that he has agreed on a deal that will be funding my salary.

Anyway, an offer is being drafted and should be ready by the time I am in NYC. If all goes well, meaning, I look at it on Thursday and I like it, I will sign it. When I get back to Austin, I will give my current employer notice... and that will be that.

Fucking awesome. Small company, cool technology, shifting responsibilities. Everything I do matters. I am not a cog in a giant machine. I'm like.. uh.. a big part of the machine... sorry... I couldn't think of anything witty.

In other good news, I got to talk to 2 old friends yesterday. One really, really old, like from when I was in grade school and one from high school. I very much hope that I will get to see them both while I am home.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Hmph

I have no motivation. There, I said it.

I have had no motivation anywhere lately... work, kung fu, house, <anything else you can think of>. In fact, Christmas is almost here, and well, whatever. I am happy to go and see my family and friends, but Christmas, I think I can do without this year. I feel nothing.

My general feeling these days is "eh". Everything... is "eh". The range of emotion doesn't really seem to be there. Oh, something really good happened? "Eh, that's cool". Oh, did something bad happen? "Eh, that sucks". Eh...

By the way, how in the hell is tomorrow only Tuesday. For the love of god, can't I just be zonked out until Friday? If any of you reading this are hypnotists, please contact me. Here's my request. It's very similar to "Office Space". Now, from the hours of 8am - 5pm everyday, I don't want to know that I am working. By all means, engage the part of the brain needed for the job to do it's thing, but, can we like, at the same time, fool me into thinking that I am doing something that I enjoy all day? Maybe like... kung fu, or um... god, I don't know.. sleeping? Can we make it so that everyday, despite the fact that I have been working, I feel like I just woke up at 5pm? Please? Anyone??

Ah, screw it... I'm going to sleep.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Awesome Best of CL Posting

I read this today on the best of Craig's list... I could not have said it better:

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact hat you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.


Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Sunday Night

Thank to Troy for helping me get the garage door opener 90% done. It is MUCH appreciated. At the cost of pizza and beer, who can beat that?? You're a good guy.

Also thanks to Nik for allowing me to try and play in his rock band. I will be better next time, I promise.

G'nite all..

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Saturday Morning @ It's A Grind

Alright, well, I wouldn't call it a whole morning, more like 15 minutes. I came here to work on my list some more. I was able to add a few things to it, but it's getting hard as I get past 70 things. I am amazed that I was able to come up with 70! This is a really good exercise. It is really making me think about me and the stuff that I want to do, which well, I haven't really seriously thought about in a long, long time.

I actually have to leave in a few. I am going to Kung Fu today. I don't usually go on Saturdays, but yesterday's class was brutal, and if I sit still in the house all day, I will just get more sore. Maybe some Golden Leopard will do me good.

Later, I am going down to Rand's house with Ryon to watch the Ultimate Fighter season finale. That should be fun.

I have been feeling very blah for the past few days. I need to not get into a situation where I allow myself to sulk in my house by myself. It's very weird for me to have be active in searching for things to do. Most of the time, I end up just kind of doing nothing. I can't let the hole drag me down this time!

Friday, December 07, 2007

101 in 1001

Ryon showed me this site yesterday:

This idea is an alternative for a "New Year's Resolution". Resolutions are lame. We all know it. How many years have you made a new year's resolution, stuck to it for 3 weeks, then returned to your normal <whatever your resolved to change>? How many years have you made the SAME resolution that you did the previous year, then flake out?

This idea, I think, is great. Instead of just one year, you get 1001 days which is (1001/365 = ) 2.742468 years. In this time, you set 101 goals to accomplish. They can be major ones, but they don't have to be. They can be something as simple as "hang a picture" or "take a class on <x>".

I have decided that I want to do this.

Last night, I went to the new "It's a Grind" that just opened by my house and started getting my list in place. I've got about 69 things on there so far. Just 32 more to go. I split mine up into 4 categories. These may change, but here goes:

Personal/Mental Physical

1. Meditate no less than 3x /week.

2. Read at least 1 book per month.

3. Wash my car 2x/month.

4. Wax car every 6 months.

5. Don’t forget a birthday.

6. Talk to at least 1 stranger / week.

7. Meet a friend for coffee at least once a week.

8. Cook something new at minimum once per week.

9. Incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my diet.

10. Complain less.

11. Swear/cuss less.

12. Shave every 2 days.

13. Pay down debt.

14. Do not buy things that I do not need.

15. Watch less TV.

16. Use the computer less.

17. Don’t stay home as much.

18. Downgrade Dish! Network to cheapest plan possible.

19. Downgrade home phone service to cheapest plan possible.

20. Do not participate in negative speech regarding others.

21. Invite friends over to my house more often.

22. Become friends with Stephanie.

23. Don’t be afraid to go on a date.

24. Go to a show every once in a while.

25. Write for 5 minutes per day before I go to sleep.

26. Call my grandparents 2x/week.

27. Go to Spain with Jose.

28. Stop looking for a girl.

29. Go to a comedy club once a month.

30. See a movie once a month.

31. Eat sushi 2x / month.

1. Obtain my 2nd Black Belt.

2. Do something physical no less that 4x/week.

3. Relearn 4 roads of Meteor Fist.

4. Purchase a bicycle.

5. Ride bicycle.

6. See a dentist 2x/year.

7. See an optometrist 2x/year.

8. Get a physical 1x/year.

9. Try acupuncture.

10. Practice Chi Gung at least 2x/week.

11. Learn Tai Chi Broadsword.

12. Learn Tai Chi Broadsword 2 man set.

13. Practice Chen Tai Chi at least 2x/week.

Career House

1. Move to a position that stimulates me mentally.

2. Move to a position where I care about the work that I am doing.

3. Stop counting the minutes until Friday 5pm.

4. Pick a programming project that I have always wanted to implement and do it.

1. Build fire pit in the back yard.

2. Build shelving in the garage.

3. Build work bench in the garage.

4. Obtain and hang a ceiling fan in the living room.

5. Box out front flower beds and trees.

6. Replant flowerbeds.

7. Start an herb garden.

8. Install garage door opener.

9. Vacuum once a week.

10. Mop floors once a month.

11. Change air filters.

12. Purchase Christmas decorations.

13. Decorate guest bathroom.

14. Decorate guest bedroom.

15. Get new, more comfortable desk for the office.

16. Hang framed prints from Europe.

17. Decorate the master bedroom.

18. Hook up computer surround sound.

19. Mow lawn as needed. Don’t be a slacker.

20. Fertilize lawn 2x/year.

21. Obtain furniture for front porch.

 So, that's it or for now. I will find more later.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

CORRECTION

It was brought to my attention that my recollection of events is not entirely correct. In the posting titled "About to go to sleep...", I state that Tommy asked if I wanted to go get food. I would like to set the record straight and say that both Tommy AND Elizabeth offered to go get food. There. Happy? = )

Thesis Rant - Topic: Materialism

The following rant is aimed at no one in particular. This seems to be something that is becoming out of control in out culture/society and I wanted to write about it. Put your seatbelt on, I read this already and it's rough.

I hate materialism. If you are a materialistic person, I hate you too. Please don't ever talk to me. Additionally, please take this time to purge your genes from the human genome. It will be better for everyone in the big picture. If you are unsure about why you should be purging yourself, please read on, then, please, purge yourself. If you STILL don't get it, consider THAT the reason, and purge yourself anyway.

<Rant>

There aren't too many things or people in this world that I can say that I "hate". Materialism and materialistic people are, however in this category.

Look at the world around you. It seems to be getting worse every day. Watch the news, watch E!, go to a mall, what do you see? People obsessed with "things"..."stuff"... perhaps pretty on the outside, but shallow as the grand fucking canyon.

Oh!, look at what he/she one got me! I have to tell everyone and everyone should know b/c I'm so self absorbed yet so incredibly dead inside that I need validation from everyone around me just to feel a shred of real happiness in my horribly shallow, shitty life. . Who, by the way, all feed into the illusion that "you're hot", or sexually marketable in some strange, "wouldn't fuck that with a football field sized pole, and noise canceling headphones, my spinal cord severed, OH!, and a blindfold" sorta way. I hate you. Die. Please, for Christmas, for me, die. All of you.

What can this do for me? What can that do for me? What is he/she going to buy me? Where is he/she going to take me? Where in the hell has any sort of feeling for self responsibility, self respect, or self love gone? Well, they seem to be gone. It's all about "me" these days.

From what I can tell, a large part of the population seems to only give a flying fuck about themselves. Themselves and no one else. Me... me... me memem emememememememememememememe!!!!!!OIfhseavfhu uadfhajkjfklhgLU!@^#%^@%#^%@#%&@#&%(@*#)(*@)&#*^*&@^#&*@$#%!$ #@ *%*&#

Sorry, I got a little mad. No, wait.. I am not sorry.

I feel like everyday, our society and the people therein go down the spiral just a bit more. My generation of people ... a generation of fucking self absorbed, medicated (in some way.. pot, alcohol, meds cuz I have the fictional "disease" known as ADD, you name it), don't give a fuck 'bout nothing but "me" fucking fuck ups. This is our future... my, my how brightly it shines.

What happened to people that have substance? What happened to people that could talk about things other than what they want from here and what they want from there? What about what you want out of life??? Are clothes, cars, tvs, diamonds, and shoes all you want?? Is there nothing more???

What happened to people that worked for things? What happened to people that have self control? Sure, there are people out there, but they, we, are in the minority these days, it seems.

I don't even know where to go from here.

We have shows on TV that show the pettiness and shallowness of people. We have TV shows that highlight people being irresponsible, intoxicated, rude, obnoxious, horrible, wretched people with absolutely zero redeeming qualities. AND THIS IS IDOLIZED AND EMULATED!!!! Can someone please kill ME now? I have seen enough. We are done.

</Rant>

Friday, November 30, 2007

Waiting in the airport (part II)...

So, now, I am waiting to go back to Austin. I am sitting at the last gate in Newark's illustrious "Terminal C". That's the one where you go all the way down to the end, the go down to the escalator, then wait sort in the basement like.

Anyway...

My trip was nice. It was really good to come home and see everyone. I was able to see some of my friends, but not all, and well, there is just never enough time. I will be home again on 12/21, for 9 days (for those of you mathematically challenged, that would be until 12/30). Hopefully, I will get to see some more people then.

I would like to point out, that not a single friend that I have up here has come to Austin to see me. Just want it to be noted. Meh...

There is so much that I want to write about, but well, I guess I just don't feel like it... later.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

= (

Life is a series of moments right? For the most part, we don't remember dates or times, but moments.

If that is the case, then this is a sad moment for me. In this moment, it feels like some of the major things in my life have fallen or are falling apart. I will not elaborate any more than that. Those close to me know what I am talking about.

There are some things in my life that I really miss that are going away or gone. I know what you are thinking, but it's more than that. One of the things that I miss in particular is the feeling of enjoying what I spend most of my life on from the hours of roughly 8am-5pm, 5x/week. Oh well...

Hopefully this sad moment will pass soon.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Quicky...

"Nothing is less important than a score at half-time."

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Waiting at the airport...

So I'm sitting in the airport waiting to go home to my house in NYC. I am very much looking forward to going home given the impact that recent events have had on my life.

Thanksgiving was pretty nice yesterday. I went to Jose's house to meet him and Lucy, Rafa, and his family. We then all went over to some guys house that I think I have met once or twice over at Jose's place. They were really nice people and very welcoming. I felt very comfortable in their house. It was really nice of them to let me come. It kinda sucks when you don't have your family here, but, what can you do. They have always been my TX family. I guess in my case, I am lucky in the fact that I did get to choose my family. Most can't.

It was really weird getting ready to leave today. I actually put my car in my garage. I have never done that before. It was weird. It was also strange to get someone to watch my cats for me. I guess there is a lot of stuff that I will have to get used to.

Anyway... back to Thanksgiving yesterday. Sorry for the tangential digression. This house that we went to was beautiful. It was giant and decorated beautifully. I don't think I have ever had the desire to decorate a house as this was, but it looked like a model home. In fact, the family seemed like a model family. Come to think of it, all of the people there seemed to be model people. Stepford almost in a way. It was nice, but disturbing a little at the same time. Oh well, what can you do. I have to admin I am slightly envious of people with perfect lives.

I guess nothing is really perfect though, despite appearances. I don't wish anything bad for them, I don't even know where I am going with this.

I have been feeling weird lately... sad but not. Happy but not. Everything but no, but it seems mostly my feeling seem to cancel each other out.

Thank you Silversun Pickups, you have helped... more later...

Thursday, November 22, 2007

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Just wanted to post to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there. For those of you who I cannot be with today, you are certainly in my thoughts; at the forefront of my thoughts. I hope you all have a great day off and enjoy some time well spent with your families.

As for me, I will be heading over to my friend Jose's house to then go over to someone else. I think Rafael and his family will be there too. It will be nice to see them as it has been a really long time since I have.

Last night was pretty fun. I reconnected with a friend, actually a friend's sister that I met about 10 years ago but spoke to on and off. This is nothing serious or romantic, just a friend, but it was nice to talk. I found out that she actually moved to Killeen, TX which is about 1 hour north of me. I talked to her for a bit then went to Sherlock's.

I met a friend from Kung Fu there and I invited Nik as well. It was a little weird that my friend brought his parents, but I guess I understand why. Apparently, the last time he was there, a woman that could be classified as a "cougar" was there and all over him. I think he told his parents about this and it actually made them a little mad. I think that he wanted to show them. I dunno...

Nik and I left Sherlock's around midnight to go kill things using his PS3. Heavenly Sword is one of the most fun games I have ever played.I want it. I want it really bad. There is nothing more hot than a, well, really hot chick that can thrown around giant life endangering swords (dork alert, I know... )...

Anyway... other than eating a bit today, I am just getting ready to go home tomorrow.

That is all... be safe everyone!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Today's OM... this is a good one...

Awakening The Inner Warrior
Stoking The Fire Within

There are certain personality archetypes that we all carry within us, such as the inner child, the lover, and the mother. Some of these archetypes present themselves strongly, while others lay fallow. For example, there is an inner warrior in each one of us, but in some of us this warrior is underdeveloped to the point that we are unable to stand up for ourselves, even when necessary. There can be many reasons for this. We may have grown up with a parent whose warrior aspect was overdeveloped, and we responded by repressing ours completely. On the other hand, we may have grown up with parents in whom this aspect was dormant, so we never learned to awaken it in ourselves.
A warrior is someone with the strength to stand up for what he or she believes; someone who perseveres in the face of challenges and obstacles; someone who speaks and acts in the service of an ideal; someone who protects those who are too weak to fight for themselves. Regardless of the reasons for an underdeveloped inner warrior, you may begin to notice the lack of its fiery, protective presence and wish to awaken it. You may need to stand up for yourself in a certain relationship or situation, or you may have a vision you want to realize, and you know you will need the courage, energy, and strength of a warrior to succeed. Similarly, if you find that you often feel scared, anxious, or powerless, rousing this sleeping ally may be just the antidote you need.
One excellent way to cultivate the presence of your inner warrior is to choose a role model who embodies the qualities of bravery, strength, and vitality. This person could be a character in a myth, movie, or book, or a historical or living person you admire. Simply close your eyes each day and contemplate the quality of energy that attracts you to this person, knowing that the same potential lives within you. Confirm for yourself that you are capable of handling this energy responsibly, and stoke the fire of your own inner courage.

...

I close both locks below the window.
I close both blinds and turn away.
Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.
Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.


And the sun will set for you,
And the sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in grey,
And the sun will set for you...

In cards and flowers on your window,
Your friends all plead for you to stay.
Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple.
Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.

And the sun will set for you,
And the sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you..


And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you..


And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you.

About to go to sleep...

I thought I would write a bit before I went to sleep.

Today turned out to be a pretty good day. I ended up leaving work around 530 or so. When I got to my school, I started off with Chen Tai Chi. It felt better to me today than it ever has. It took me a total of 25 minutes to get through the whole thing. That is a rarity, but it really helped me to get my mind of things.

My class went well too. I had 3 students finish up on Tai Chi 24. I then helped someone finish "Buddha Fist" and then another student get a handle on some Pakua.

As I was leaving, my friend Tommy says, "what, no food?". So, I ended up going to Kirby Lane to get some food with Tommy and Elizabeth. That is good b/c I didn't really feel like cooking anything. I just got something light.

I am not looking forward to my 7am meeting tomorrow. I am not a fan of Tuesdays. I think that tomorrow night, we are going to see Beowulf. I am sure that will be fun.

So tired... going to sleep.

Monday, November 19, 2007

It's cloudy...

... both outside as well as in. I hope the sun comes out soon.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Interesting part of a book...

I have been reading "Living on Purpose" by Dan Millman (same guy that wrote "Way Of The Peaceful Warrior"). I think that everyone should read this book. I read a part this morning that seemed very apropos at this time in my life.

Question: I am reasonably intelligent, but all my life I've agonized over decisions - who to date, which college, which guy, how many children. And the decisions I needed to make on my children's behalf were the hardest of all. How can I learn an easier way to make decisions?

Answer: Nowhere is it written that decisions are supposed to be easy. Every choice requires a combination of intellect, intuition, and gut instinct. And the more important the decision, the hard it seems. Why? Because perceived importance increases our fear of making the wrong choice and what that might mean. When choosing between two brands of cereal, I doubt you agonize, because you know that choosing the wrong cereal won't bring the sky crashing down. But will selecting the wrong college, or sweetheart, or job mean catastrophe? How can you know this? Faith reminds us that every decision we make can server our highest good and learning - that every choice leads to wisdom.

Ever wonder what would have happened if you had made difference choices in the past? - turned right instead of left, said yes instead of no? If you had made different choices some things might have turned out better - and others, maybe worse. As H.L. Mencken said, "We are here and it is now; all other knowledge is moonshine." You have chosen this life, this path, this moment. Are we here to make infallible decisions so that things always work out the way we hope or expect? Or is our life about learning, discovery and wisdom? We is a wrong decision, anyway? If you choose what's behind Door Number One instead of Door Number Two, and you go through a tough time - does that necessarily mean you made the wrong decision? Is the easier path always the best choice? These questions may be worth considering - not because they bring certainty, but because they point to mystery.

There are no wrong choices; only those we regret. Like the story about three teachers, sitting around a faculty lounge when an angle appears and says to the senor teacher, "You have dedicated your life to enriching the lives of countless young people and you deserve a wish fulfilled. Choose between great wealth, great wisdom, or great beauty."

"I choose great wisdom," responded the teacher, who began to glow with refined light as the angel disappeared.

The other two teachers spoke in unison: "Say something!" they asked.

Eyes shining with the light of expanded awareness, the teacher turned to them and pronounced, "I should have taken the money".

Shoulds aside, from a higher perspective, wrong decisions do not exist. Some choices lead up one path and some down another, but every road leads to lessons, and every lesson leads to wisdom. I can't give you any special techniques to make unerring decisions, whatever that might mean; I only remind you that whatever decision you make is perfect for you at the time. Your decisions also become part of the fabric of your children's lives, and others' as well - all a natural part of your schooling. Can you know for certain what is ultimately best? No, you cannot. So it seems a good operating principal to rely on mystery and live on faith that every choice leads to wisdom.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Ups and Downs

I used to watch "Married with Children" a lot when I was younger. I remember an episode in particular where Alphonse Hercules Bundy AKA Al Bundy had a really awesome streak of good luck. For the entire episode though, he could not bring himself to enjoy it because he knew that whenever he had good luck, bad luck was following close behind. Everything good that happened to him would be followed by an equally bad sequence of events.

I remember, a few months ago, writing about how everything was going really well. The house was good, I loved my job, everything relationship-wise was going well both personal and public. I also remember saying to myself, "enjoy this now, it probably won't be around forever". It seems at this point, I was right.

Much like Al, I am hitting a rough spot. I wouldn't say that I am anywhere near where Al was in terms of the bad. I mean... he was gambling against the mob and winning (Royal Flush, if I remember correctly). As soon as he won, a whole slew of bad stuff happened to him. This isn't totally the case with me. Nothing really horrible is happening, just well, not great.

I suppose this brings up the idea of ups and downs, good and bad, cyclical times in our lives. Who is to say what is good and what is bad? These are labels that we apply to things to mold our reality into something that we can handle; something that we can cope with. We apply these labels to things and then make up reasons to support said label in an attempt to make things right for us, in our own heads.

Case in point. I thought moving to Texas was going to be really bad. Really, REALLY bad! I could have thought of a million reasons as to why I should not go. A million reasons as to why I would fail and why I should just straight up not do it. But now, I look back and can see that I could not have been more wrong. In hindsight, it was actually really good.

For a while, I enjoyed being happy with every single thing and aspect in and of my life. I guess this reinforces the idea that all things pass. Good passes and so shall the bad. Everything passes. Even us.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Paths

Everyone has their own path. It is laid before them, at all times. You can choose to either see this path or not. Maybe your choice is made consciously or maybe it isn't. Regardless, your path is there whether you choose to see it or not. Don't confuse path with destiny or lack of free will. I am pretty sure that you have free will while you are on the path, but, decisions that you make can either keep you on or distract you from said path.

At various points in your life, you will meet other people. I know, you meet people everyday, but I'm talking about important people. Life changing people. You may think that their path is now yours or yours is now theirs, but look more closely. There are ALWAYS two paths. ALWAYS. They do not become one, they intertwine. Eventually, they will separate.

The separation is not necessarily a bad thing.

People attach meanings to things and events that aren't always correct, yet when then events happen, we have this compulsion to "feel" a certain way. Take the example of the child that falls down. Perhaps he hasn't yet been conditioned to think that falling down is "bad". He's not hurt. He gets up and carries on his merry way. Now, take that same child a few years later. He falls down, is not hurt, but thinks for a second, and starts crying. Why? Because he has learned that falling down is a bad thing. Where did he learn this? Who knows... where did YOU learn it?

I digress. The point here is that your life is about you. You and only you control your theater of experience. Although you are not in control over what thoughts and emotions arise within you, you ARE in control of the actions that you take regardless of what emotions are present. You need to take right actions despite what thoughts and emotions you might be thinking/feeling. This what being an adult is.

Anyway... I think I have rambled long enough. It's time to get some stoopid work done.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Missing home...

As I was driving home today, all I could think about was how I wish my family was here. I miss them...

Friday, October 26, 2007

Tough class...

Firstly, sorry to my 3 readers. I haven't written in a while. I have been lazy.

This morning was tough. I was able to wake up just fine. The weather has been really nice lately, so sleeping with the windows open has been a pleasure that doesn't come along very often here in Texas. At any rate, my body just wouldn't wake up. Half way through class I was still sleepy even though I was working hard. I guess sometimes, the mind is willing, but the body, is.. .spongy... and bruised (Futurama) or well, just plain not willing.

OC, in his infinite wisdom fell into a box that I am using as part of my Halloween costume last night. I am not sure how long he was in there, but his struggling with whatever plastic bag that he fell in there with woke me up. I thought cats were supposed to be smart.

I guess I should do some work now...

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I love working from home...

So I am sitting here on my bed waiting for a build to come down and I realized that although I have been somewhat frustrated with my new job due to the steep ass learning curve, I am happy that I get to do things like work from home. The traffic report came on and all I could think about was "boy, am I happy to not be dealing with that right now".

 

Aside from that, it is a beautiful morning. It's just below 70. Wow, do I miss this. I have opened all of the windows in the house. I think that's officially the first time since we have moved in. Feels good.

 

Ok, build's almost done... gotta go...

Sunday, September 30, 2007

How much longer??

800px-Life_expectancy_1950-2005

Ok... check this out.

24 = number of hours in a day

168 = number of hours in a week

8736 = number of hours in a year

698880 = number of hours in the average human life span ( see above )

If you are 27, like me, you have lived 235872 hours. You have 463008 left. That's only like 27780480 minutes...

How insane. I have more of less quantified my time left on Earth. How much time do you have left??? Are you using your time well? It's not infinite...

Monday, September 24, 2007

Will...

What is will? Have you ever thought about it? I hadn't really thought about it very much until lately. To start off in a cliche, I looked this up in Webster's online and found this:

  1. used to express desire, choice, willingness, consent, or in negative constructions refusal <no one would take the job> <if we will all do our best> <will you please stop that racket>
  2. used to express frequent, customary, or habitual action or natural tendency or disposition <will get angry over nothing> <will work one day and loaf the next>
  3. used to express futurity <tomorrow morning I will wake up in this first-class hotel suite -- Tennessee Williams>
  4. used to express capability or sufficiency <the back seat will hold three passengers>
  5. used to express probability and often equivalent to the simple verb <that will be the babysitter>
    1. used to express determination, insistence, persistence, or willfulness <I have made up my mind to go and go I will> 
    2. used to express inevitability <accidents will happen>
  6. used to express a command, exhortation, or injunction <you will do as I say, at once>

These are alright... but not really what I was looking for. This is the word "will" as used in human language. What I am talking about here is your metaphysical will, or perhaps, better understood as your "heart".

Last weekend, at the Lui Hsing seminar, Grandmaster Sin told us a story about will. I think that, although it is somewhat silly, it defines what "your will" means:

Image two roosters fighting. One is very large and one is small in comparison to the large one. If you were to bet on this fight, you would surely pick the large rooster to win, however, you most likely did not take into account the will of the smaller rooster. As they fight, the small rooster just keeps on going despite the fact that he is hurt.

Ultimately, the smaller rooster dies there, however, the large one dies two days later from injuries sustained from the smaller rooster.

That is will or you might even call it heart. The willingness to keep on going in the face of not-so-great odds.

Whether or not you know it, your will is tested every single day, most likely multiple times daily. Tests of will do not necessarily have to be large epic tests. They can be small things that you might not even notice. The most common example that I can think of is a daily workout. Personally, many times, I have wanted to bail out. I think to myself "why do I do this to myself" or "why do I put myself through this pain". That little voice tests my will. I have make the voice that says "get up and fight" or "keep going" stronger. This is my will.

Your will comes through in your life as well. You are the controller of your destiny. You impose your will upon reality and thus shape it accordingly. Compare the lifestyle of a destitute druggy with that of a successful person that is doing well with their life and making progress and accomplishments. Look at how they react to challenges in their life. Most likely, the druggy will run or turn to some sort of coping mechanism to avoid dealing with the challenge. Conversely, the successful person might meet that challenge head on and crush it. His will is clearly stronger.

So where I am going with all of this? Well, I'm not sure exactly. This all goes back to the seminar that I went to last week. The forms that we learned are intended to "nourish the will". Then, I thought, for people who do not know martial arts, how would they nourish the will?

I have felt at times that I had no will. I was sad, depressed, lacked confidence, etc. This was way before I started at Shaolin. At times, what brought me back from that was partly internal and partly external.

Internally, a lot of this is in your mind. You have no will because you THINK you have no will. All you need to do is change your thinking. It's that easy ( and that hard as well ).

Externally, I had my family to help me. They helped me to see that I do have the ability to meet challenges in my life no matter what they are. The external influence helped to change my thinking to the point where I believed that I can keep on going. I can stand back up.

How do you keep your will going? How do you deal with challenges in your life? Are you more prone to dodging/evading them, or do you meet them head on?

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Meh...

Work has been frustrating lately. I have been working on the same freaking problem for like 4 days now. I know that this will pass, but it is very frustrating to be fighting that uphill battle all the time. 

I'll get to a point where I think I've got it solved, but really, I just found a part of the problem and now... I have to do more... stuff... argh....

Frustration

I finished 4-8 staff today. Smacked myself pretty hard in the leg. That sucked. But anyway, that is a very cool form. I like it a lot. Maybe I'll show you one day... if you are lucky...

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Back to work...

I am tired today. I feel like I have no energy.

I work up early to get to work for a 7am meeting to find out that it is canceled. My friend who runs it cut his foot and needed to go to the hospital. I am not mad... just here really early.

Steph made dinner last night which was very nice. We started watching "Taxi Driver" also, but I didn't make it very far.

Today is going to be busy. I have to go to the bank to get money for Gary as well as to deposit, then I have practice at 11:30. I am going to class early to get some push hands practice in.

Later, Steph and I are going to do some Tabata sets together. She told me she wanted to start working out and that would be a great place to start.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Lexington, KY (Lui Hsing) IV

This weekend was the last installment of the Lui Hsing seminars that I have been attending through my Shaolin school. Needless to say, the seminar was completely worth the time, effort, and money that it has taken over the past two years.

We left on Friday afternoon. After a short stop in Trinidad, TX for my friend's son's football game, we were on our way. There were 3 of us in a 7 passenger van. It was pretty comfortable.

We made good time and got to Lexington around 3pm on Saturday. After checking into our hotel, showering, and relaxing a bit, we went to dinner with some friends and then we were off to the demos at the Lexington school.

There were some really awesome demos. Some highlights include:

  1. A ground dragon form during which Master Bullock performed 2 handsprings on 2 fingers!! Whoa!!
  2. Pa Kua spear.
  3. Master Joe and Sifu Ben - 1st road of Ground Monkey.
  4. Double chain whip.
  5. 3 section staff.
  6. A handstand on 2 fingers.
  7. Concrete brick breaking.

After the demos, Gary and I returned to our respective rooms and went to sleep.

The following morning (Sunday), the excitement finally hit me that we were about to learn the second half of Lui Hsing ( Meteor Fist ).

After some history from Grandmaster Sin, we finally found out what we were going to learn. Whoa... I am not sure if I can mention it, but it was completely amazing and actually something that I have wanted to learn since I started learning about Shaolin years ago.

We left around 5pm after the seminar and started on our way home.

As we drove home, some things occurred to me. Some things we discussed, some we did not. Most importantly, I thought about other schools I had trained in and whether or not we would ever be able to do anything even remotely close to what we did this weekend. Obviously, no. Where else can you pay not that much money and learn Shaolin forms that have not been taught to the public for years and years. Get that at your next Tae Kwon Do seminar.

Additionally, I thought about how far I had come in this system. When I went to the first Golden Leopard seminar 2 years ago, I was a white belt. I have come a long way and have made some awesome friends. Most importantly, I feel like I am a part of something that is really just, awesome.

This trip further reinforced how much I love this school and this art. One event that really drove this home was when I went up to Grandmaster Sin to thank him after the class. I felt that this was an amazing thing that he had done for us and I wanted him to know that. He response was not expected however:

Me: Grandmaster Sin, thank you so much for doing this. This class was incredible. Thank you.

GM Sin: Thank you so much for coming and showing interest in the class.

I love that guy...

Now, I am finally home, and have a lot of work to do. I have got to get 4 Golden Leopard forms and 4 Lui Hsing forms in good order. I do not want to lose these.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Reflections on getting a black belt...

So, it's been about a week or so since I got my black sash in Tai Chi. After beginning to learn my new material, a few things have occurred to me.

1) I have only started to scratch the surface of the awesome stuff that is available to learn.

2) I thought that I would feel satisfied once getting to this point, but I am finding that the exact opposite it true. I want more. I want to know more. I want to do more. I am capable of more.

3) I will be doing this for the rest of my life as long as I am able... and there is NO way that I will run out of things to learn.

In every other art I have taken, black belt always seemed to be the destination. As if to say, when you get to black belt, you're done. Go learn something else.

I think that this mentality comes from so called "fish bowl" schools. You know what I'm talking about. Take Tiger Schulmann's Karate for example. I took one class at this place and never went back. Check the site out, go even take a class at this place or any others... if you know anything at all, you will see that they suck. They are mostly concerned about your tuition and churning out black belts.

It is this kind of karate "business" that has lead me to believe for the better part of my life that black belt is the goal.

Thank you... Shaolin for showing me that this is not a 2-4 year commitment. This is a lifelong thing.

Thank you for showing me that I can always learn and that I have the capacity to hold an infinite amount of information in the human brain of mine. It permeates into every aspect of my life.

Shaolin-Do

Friday, August 31, 2007

Get over yourselves...

I had the day off from work today so I met Steph for lunch. We went to TGIFriday's. It was good. I did however notice this guy at another table next to us that was wearing his bluetooth earpiece while not on a call.

I thought to myself "how pretentious". This guy must think he's muy importante. I have news for you sir. You didn't get a singal call while you were eating lunch with your family. You are not that important. Take the f**king thing off. I hate them...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

F You Michael Vic

Are you serious, dude? Do you think that anyone thinks that this is a sincere apology? Please, don't insult my intelligence. I know you've got the public image machine behind you coaching you on everything you say to try and preserve the empire which you have so undeservingly accumulated (refer to Bill Cosby posting).

Let's take a look at some highlights of this "apology":

"I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts and, you know, what I did was, what I did was very immature so that means I need to grow up."

No shit, homey. Way to learn something that normal people learn when they are 12. Stupid.

"I totally ask for forgiveness and understanding as I move forward to bettering Michael Vick the person, not the football player."

Totally. Please move forward. We all want you to move forward. Fucking retard.

"I'm upset with myself, and, you know, through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God. And I think that's the right thing to do as of right now."

IMHO, the worst part of all of this. Don't bring your new found spirituality into this. It's like someone becoming spiritual on their deathbed. Where was god or god's voice when you were doing these things? Where was God when you were blessed with an a$$load of money and a privileged lifestyle that most of us dream of our entire lives? Not there, huh? Just when you get caught? Fuck off.

Again, stop insulting our intelligence. You haven't found anything other than you got caught and now you are fucked and need to spin this in the best was possible for you. Go to hell.

"I got a lot to think about in the next year or so."

A lifetime's worth.

"So I got a lot of down time, a lot of time to think about my actions and what I've done and how to make Michael Vick a better person."

A perfect ending to a perfect engineered apology. Blow me, oh, and everyone else when you are in jail while you are at it.

Michael-Vick-R_0

Still thinking this now? Eat it, bitch.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Fun weekend

I thought I would take a break from work for a few to write about the weekend. This weekend was a lot of fun. We spent some good times with some good friends.

Friday night, we didn't do much. These days, we are both so tired on Friday nights that we usually just have a chill night at home.

Saturday, we went to Costco in the morning to pick up some stuff then we had around 20 people over for the UFC pay per view. They didn't leave until around 1am or so. We had tons of food and a lot of laughs.

Sunday, we went to this place called Hamilton Pool just east of Austin with Julie and Jimmy. That was really a lot of fun. I liked it a lot better than Barton Springs b/c the ground isn't all slimey and gross.

Sunday night, Nik came over and we watched Lucky Number Slevin. Pretty good movie if you like retribution type stuff.

Back to the grind today though...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

You go Bill Cosby...

Preface: The following was said by Bill Cosby, not me. I do, however agree and support what he is saying 100%. Think about it.

They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.  I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English
except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor
with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a
decent living. People marched and were hit in the
face with rocks to get an education, and now
we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up
their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting.  They are buying
things for kids. $500 sneakers for what ? ?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was  2  ?  
Where were you when he was 12 ? 
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol ? ?
And where is the father ?  Or who is his father ?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something ? 
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up ?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from?
We are not Africans.  Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail. 
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back. 

People used to be ashamed.  Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.   

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.  We, as black folks, have to do a better job.  Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. 

We cannot blame the white people any longer.

-- Dr. William Henry "Bill" Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Damn you M$ and your really long content-types...

Look.. just look at how long these freaking content-types are... retarded... argh!!

File Extension Content Type
docm application/vnd.ms-mord.document.macroEnabled.12
docx application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document
dotm application/vnd.ms-word.template.macroEnabled.12
dotx application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.template
ppsm application/vnd.ms-powerpoint.slideshow.macroEnabled.12
ppsx application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.presentationml.slideshow
pptm application/vnd.ms-powerpoint.presentation.macroEnabled.12
pptx application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.presentationml.presentation
xlsb application/vnd.ms-excel.sheet.binary.macroEnabled.12
xlsm application/vnd.ms-excel.sheet.macroEnabled.12
xlsx application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.spreadsheetml.sheet
xps application/vnd.ms-xpsdocument

Stop using office! Switch to OpenOffice. It does almost everything that MS office does (granted, it does not look as pretty) and is totally free! Check it out...

Open Office Link

Weekend Recap

This weekend, was non-eventful. That, is not a bad thing by any means. We did a lot of sitting around and relaxing, which, was much needed.

Friday night, we didn't do much. I think we went out for dinner at Tony's, then went food shopping.

Saturday, we slept in a little bit. I made us breakfast, then Steph did some shopping ( tax free weekend ) and I went to Kung Fu.

When we got back, we went to Fresh Choice for food, then went to see StarDust. Now, I thought that it was gonna be just OK, but this movie was really good. It made us both think of a Prince's Bride.

Yesterday was lawn mowing day. My head got sunburned. No one had fun, but the lawn looks nice now... for another week. Also, we watched 300. Steph got it for me when I was in Boston. I love that freaking movie.

I wish I could devote my life to training and being awesome... but no... I have to "work"... lame...

Sunday, August 19, 2007

12 Volt Battery Hack! You'll Be Surprised... Video

No freakin' way!!!



12 Volt Battery Hack! You'll Be Surprised... - A funny movie is a click away

Saturday, August 18, 2007

So sad...but...


Utah Mine Rescuers Halt Search After 3 Deaths - New York Times

We have all seen this. If you have cable/satellite and have passed by CNN, you have definitely seen this and... most likely now have a very intimate understanding of mining.

Look. I am not trying to take away from the tragedy of what happened to these guys. No one deserves to die in a mine like that ( well, maybe some, but that's another post ), but, I don't need a repeating 9 hour dissertation on the history of mining from CNN. I also don't need:
  • Schematics
  • Maps
  • 3D Models
  • Timelines
  • Prior related events
So, in short, just give me the god damn story and move on. It must suck to be a program director for a 24 hour news channel...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

I am now delayed and waiting in the Logan airport in Boston, MA.

Overall the 3 days in Boston/Westford were pretty good. I spent most of the time in Westford though. I got to meet a lot of of people that I have worked with for the past 2.8 years, but have never met. It was really nice. My only regret is that I barely got to see Boston at all. I didn't take a single picture.

My presentation was OK. Some good point, some not so good. When I practiced my routine, it was 45-50 minutes long. When I actually got up to present, it only took me 30 minutes. I think I got sort of nervous because a lot more people showed up than I was expecting. I was thinking that 10-20 people would show up, but no... it was more like 63 or so.

All is well though, I got good reviews, so I am happy.

In other news, I am very eager to see my family. I still have about 2 hours until my flight leaves, which kind of sucks. I miss Steph and wish she was here...

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Today is my 1st day in Boston. It's a pretty nice city. It reminds me of home.

My flight was good. No hiccups...

When I got to Logon, I saw Nick and Kyle. We changed up the car plans a bit and ended up taking a shuttle the hotel. After a company sponsored dinner and open bar, we went to the movies. All in all a good night. I just wish Steph was here.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

So, I think it's been raining for about 2 months straight here in Austin, TX. You see where there is a "low pressure system" flanked by "high pressure systems", it make the "low pressure system" NOT MOVE EVER. As a result, the rain has a nice clean and clear roadway to drop all of its wetty goodness on us at least 3x/day. I'm all for non-drought and stuff, but this is ridiculous. Is the world ending? I think I read about this somewhere...

I actually had to use my poncho today. I realize that that sounds totally retarded, but, I do not own an umbrella capable of standing up to such torrential rain. The poncho worked out great and kept my bag dry too.

Class was cancelled last night b/c Master Joe was not at the school. I did some iron palm, practiced my stuff and went home. Man, it's nice to get home around 745/8.

I think that my presentation for the PSM seminar is almost done. The content is in a good place, but I just need to add some stuff to make it interesting like funny fonts and clipart. Many thanks to Tina for helping me with it.

Tonight should be relaxing. I am not doing anything after work. We might go to Nik's place to watch a movie, but not sure about that yet.

On a final note, I think that my MP3 player has finally bit the dust. It can no longer hold a charge. This makes me very... very sad. If anyone would like to buy me a new MP3 player, I would be happy to accept it. 30Gb or higher please = ).

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

So, it's been a while... what's up you ask? Here are some random updates in bullet point format:
  • I've been really into Bleach lately. I've got a torrent going of every episode ever, but, it's taking well... forever.
  • I got a new job. I am starting up with Lotus L3 on August 1st ( that is in a few days ). I am looking forward to starting on something new.
  • We have been working constantly on our house. We have now painted the dining room, kitchen, and living room. We have also cut and hung the chair rail. We have gotten all of our furniture except for the sectional. That should be coming around the 2nd week in August; just in time for us to host the next UFC party! The card looks awesome - check it out.
  • I have all of my material to test in August for Kung Fu and Tai Chi. I will be testing on the following:
    • Kung Fu
      • 3 Crane Forms
      • Night Battle Broadsword
      • San Ye
    • Tai Chi
      • Chen Tai Chi
      • Yin/Yang Dagger
  • I am going to Boston on 8.5.2007 to speak at a Lotus PSM Seminar. I will be presenting on the topic of "Database Corruption". It has been tough getting my presentation together with everything that has been going on, but I am getting there. I was also supposed to go there to visit my new manager and my new team, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. Most likely, I will go there from 8.5 -> 8.8, then fly to NYC until 8.11 to visit, then fly back to Austin.
  • I got into a minor car accident yesterday. That sucked but it could have been worse.
  • My parents are entertaining the idea of buying a house down here... that is awesome.
  • We went to see Transformers and I loved it. Watch this, it's hilarious.
  • We went to see 1408 - eh...

Anyway... I'm pretty tired... I'm out...


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Screw you, Vonage. I hate you. You have made the past 2 days miserable.

What an ordeal. Here is a word of advice; if you have something that is auto-debited from your checking account, make sure you check it every month. I had auto-debit for Vonage all set up. All of my information was correct, yet, they did not debit my payments for about a year. I now owe them that money. I am angry both at myself for not catching it as well as Vonage for not notifying me at all that my account was in this state. If you don't pay your gas bill for 2 months, don't they threaten to turn it off?

I then spent hours dealing with their support which, I think I spoke about last night. My whole experience is summed up in the letter that I sent to the Customer Care Department:

To whom it may concern:

I would like to take this opportunity to voice my displeasure with Vonage billing and customer support. I had auto debit set up on my account at some point. Yesterday I noticed that my account balance is $<a lot>; an accumulation of around 13 months of phone service. I did in fact verify that all of my account information is correct.

My account had not been debited in over a year. I would like for it to be clear that my anger is not displaced. I absolutely should have noticed that this was not being paid via my checking account.

My displeasure stems from the way in which this was handled by Vonage. I received absolutely no communication from Vonage indicating that my account had a balance or that a single payment was late. My account never went into a grace period and was never terminated. Additionally, I spent upwards of 2 hours on the phone yesterday with one of the most subpar customer support teams I have ever experienced. After 2 hours on the phone I felt more frustrated than when I initially called and felt that I was no further along. As a support engineer myself for a very large company, I make it a point to not waste people’s time on the phone. I suggest your engineers attempt to do the same.

I am now in the process of paying my balance to Vonage. Once it is paid in full, I do not plan on using Vonage services again in the future.

On a positive note, the only engineer that I felt really helped me was Sal. He did not give me his last name, but his ID number is 24856. He was extremely polite, efficient, and about 1000x more helpful than the first line of outsourced people that you have “helping” your customers. Had I spoken to Sal initially, I probably would still be a Vonage customer.

Sincerely,

Bryan <last name>


If you ever have any issues with Vonage. I will be happy to give you the address that you need to write to.

Note: The opinions expressed here are my own. If you have Vonage and you have had good experiences, more power to you.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Well... things have been sort of crazy lately. I know it has been a while since I last wrote so I will try to sum it up.

I guess, really, the biggest thing to say is that we are getting house. The process is almost done. We actually close on Friday and I absolutely cannot wait for this all to be over and for us to move so life can finally get sort of back to normal.

We spent this entire week packing. Almost everything in the apartment is in a box somewhere. Even the bed is ready to go. We have actually been sleeping on the futon. It's been like a slumber party every night. I can't actually remember the last time I woke up in the morning and felt like I had rested.

I had to call to set up my utilities today. I wouldn't recommend this as an activity to pass an afternoon. For any of you that have had to do this before, you are probably with me when I say that it suuuuucks. Mostly, my biggest gripe is with Time Warner. I waited on hold for about 45 minutes today, then gave up and hung up. I decided that I would go to the office which is usually like a ghost town. When I got there, there were 33 people in front of me. It was like the DMV. So I gave up on that for today.

Next, I was showing a friend of mine the dashboard for Vonage. As I was going through the tabs, I realized that they had not auto debited my account since last April. Oh yeah... that's 13 months of bills that have not been paid. Granted some of this is my fault, however, I do know that with ANY other service, if you are past due on one payment, you certainly know about it. I have received nothing from Vonage.

I thought to myself, well, maybe my checking acct information is wrong. So I checked it and it was all perfect. I then made the dreaded decision to call support. After an hour of "oh you need to talk to <x> team, let me transfer you", wait 10 minutes and repeat, I finally got to the people who I had hoped would help me figure this out... only to have the call drop. Without a ticket number, I had to call back and do it ALL over again. I finally hung up at 530pm b/c I needed to go home. I'll try again tomorrow.

I know that this wasn't the direction that I was going in when I started writing this, however, a point that I would like to make is that Vonage's customer is support could have been better if I didn't call at all. It did nothing but further frustrate me and almost 2 hours later, I was no further along than when I started. This it totally unacceptable and a stark reminder of why outsourcing sucks more than I can explain. Sure, the tard that I was talking to on the other line who's first name contained more consonants that the English alphabet ( who asked me to call him "Joe", by the way ), was very nice and courteous and I'm sure costs a fraction of the price of someone here in the US, however, when is it no longer worth the savings when all of your customer's are frustrated and think that your customer support is a joke?

I work in a call center. That is what I do. I talk to people on the phone all day long. My biggest goal is to not waste their god damn time otherwise they will not want to call anymore and I will not have a job and that would be bad. I don't care that I can call you "Joe". I don't care that you have perfect manners. All I care is about is that you can solve my god damn problem. That is why I am calling you. This is such a simple concept. Why in the hell does no one get it?

I guess while I am on a roll, I might as well talk about how utility companies rape the shit out of you when you sign up with them. Why in the hell does the electric company need a $150 deposit? Why does the gas company need a $65 fee? Why do I have to pay $100 for water that is already on?? For the record, all of these things are already on in my house. Why do we allow ourselves to get suburbanly raped like this?? Why do these companies get all of this money for putting a record in my name for some shit that is already turned on and working just fine. WTF man... I don't get it. My ass hurts. Apparently, the lube is extra.

I need to go to sleep... or hit something... really hard... jgdfc.... ( figure that one out )

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The search continues...

I really do not like getting responses to interviews where they tell me that I don't have the skills that they are looking for. Now, I understand that I can't possibly know everything about everything under the sun, but I'll tell you what I can do... LEARN anything about anything under the sun. Now, I am sure that no one likes to hear that about themselves, but I try to do the best with it that I can. Try to turn a negative into a positive I suppose.

The particular response that I got today informed that I was not well versed enough in Webshere Portal and WPS. I don't even know what WPS is.. so well I guess that is a correct statement. As a result, I will attempt to learn some of this stuff. All I know is that the clock is ticking and and I am really itching to do something else.

In other areas, check out the new pictures that are posted in the archive. They are from Monday night ( 4.23 ) when we went to see Bowling for Soup downtown at Antone's. Before you start calling me names, please let me state that I don't particularly like them. They were OK live and the tickets were FREE. Plus it was a good time with friends overall. So.. get off my back.

In the martial arts world, things are going good. I am continuing toward my Black sash in Tai Chi and my 2nd Brown belt in Kung Fu. I think I am almost to the end of the Chen Tai Chi form ( finally ) and almost done with the last kata that I need for 3rd Brown material which is called "Night Battle Broadsword" form. It's a lot of fun... it's also fun to see Troy hopping around like a graceful Rhino.. hahaha sorry buddy.. you said it...

I am tired... going to sleep... laters...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I miss my friends...

Driving to work this morning, I realized that I really miss my NYC friends. But then I thought, it's nice to have friends to miss.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Way of the Peaceful Warrior

So, they made the book into a movie. If you are not familiar with this book or this story, you should really change that. This book was a life changing experience for me. Check out the trailer for the movie:

http://www.thepeacefulwarriormovie.com/

Also, here is a link to Dan Millman's site. Check it out:

http://www.danmillman.com/

Monday, March 05, 2007

Wow...just.. wow...

So, Steph showed me this post on MySpace. It was a bulletin that someone posted. Read on for some reading enjoyment.

Without further ado, here is the post:
y must so many ppl bullshit 1 another these days? if it's not females bullshittin guys like they jus tha shyt or every nigga wanna get at them like chea rite babygurl dnt mean 2 bust ur bubble but u ain't really suppose 2 be up on that pedistaol.. lol excuse me as I laugh.. I jus dnt get that shyt.. or when sum 1 ask wats da deal.. babygurl dat mean mean I wanna holla atcha dat means wats da deal.. no more no less!!! I dnt kno who put all tha helium i ya big heads but i'll let dat shyt go.. an my fella's come on now stop tryna holla at these lame females makin think they da shyt like dat when they aint!!! not sayin' all tha females but u kno who u r.. yall nigga's need 2 get ya shyt str8 an stop playin' cause u makin us real nigga's look bad mayne!!!

As far as as I go I got a music page so dats a reason y I hit up some ppl I gotta kno if u like my shyt or not ya feel. u dnt a dude 2 send u a request w/o readin ur shyt.. then read mine an u would kno wat I do..

I jus think nigga's an females need 2 get they shyt str8 these days!! a if ya on here 4 freak purposes then say so, an if not then say that shyt 2.. u gota mouth.. damn it use it!!!!!

DIS TROUBLE AN IMMA END DIS WIT REAL RECOGNIZES REAL!!!! 100

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