Life these days...

Life these days is really good for me. I have been really happy and things have been going really well.

Last night I started going back to kung fu as I have been sort of flaky lately due to the new job and other events like the trip to Mississippi last weekend.

I got to school early and went through almost every form that I know just to be sure that I still know them =). Turns out I do.

Leopard class was really good. We finally finished the second road and I got an introduction to the 5th section of snake pakua. I love that stuff.

I am now looking at my schedule. I need to readjust is as I need to focus more on my 1st brown belt material for my test in August. I am maybe 1-2 weeks behind. It's not really a big deal, but I HATE being behind!

Other than kung fu, things with Victoria are awesome. She continue to show me every day what an awesome, caring, thoughtful person she is. I really got lucky with this one and I don't plan on letting it go.

Ok, I should actually do some work now =).

Bye!

Holy crap...

Scary? Awesome? Scary-awesome? You decide. I don't know yet...

101 in 1001

Ryon showed me this site yesterday:

This idea is an alternative for a "New Year's Resolution". Resolutions are lame. We all know it. How many years have you made a new year's resolution, stuck to it for 3 weeks, then returned to your normal <whatever your resolved to change>? How many years have you made the SAME resolution that you did the previous year, then flake out?

This idea, I think, is great. Instead of just one year, you get 1001 days which is (1001/365 = ) 2.742468 years. In this time, you set 101 goals to accomplish. They can be major ones, but they don't have to be. They can be something as simple as "hang a picture" or "take a class on <x>".

I have decided that I want to do this.

Last night, I went to the new "It's a Grind" that just opened by my house and started getting my list in place. I've got about 69 things on there so far. Just 32 more to go. I split mine up into 4 categories. These may change, but here goes:

Personal/Mental	Physical
1. Meditate no less than 3x /week. 2. Read at least 1 book per month. 3. Wash my car 2x/month. 4. Wax car every 6 months. 5. Don’t forget a birthday. 6. Talk to at least 1 stranger / week. 7. Meet a friend for coffee at least once a week. 8. Cook something new at minimum once per week. 9. Incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my diet. 10. Complain less. 11. Swear/cuss less. 12. Shave every 2 days. 13. Pay down debt. 14. Do not buy things that I do not need. 15. Watch less TV. 16. Use the computer less. 17. Don’t stay home as much. 18. Downgrade Dish! Network to cheapest plan possible. 19. Downgrade home phone service to cheapest plan possible. 20. Do not participate in negative speech regarding others. 21. Invite friends over to my house more often. 22. Become friends with Stephanie. 23. Don’t be afraid to go on a date. 24. Go to a show every once in a while. 25. Write for 5 minutes per day before I go to sleep. 26. Call my grandparents 2x/week. 27. Go to Spain with Jose. 28. Stop looking for a girl. 29. Go to a comedy club once a month. 30. See a movie once a month. 31. Eat sushi 2x / month.	1. Obtain my 2nd Black Belt. 2. Do something physical no less that 4x/week. 3. Relearn 4 roads of Meteor Fist. 4. Purchase a bicycle. 5. Ride bicycle. 6. See a dentist 2x/year. 7. See an optometrist 2x/year. 8. Get a physical 1x/year. 9. Try acupuncture. 10. Practice Chi Gung at least 2x/week. 11. Learn Tai Chi Broadsword. 12. Learn Tai Chi Broadsword 2 man set. 13. Practice Chen Tai Chi at least 2x/week.
Career	House
1. Move to a position that stimulates me mentally. 2. Move to a position where I care about the work that I am doing. 3. Stop counting the minutes until Friday 5pm. 4. Pick a programming project that I have always wanted to implement and do it.	1. Build fire pit in the back yard. 2. Build shelving in the garage. 3. Build work bench in the garage. 4. Obtain and hang a ceiling fan in the living room. 5. Box out front flower beds and trees. 6. Replant flowerbeds. 7. Start an herb garden. 8. Install garage door opener. 9. Vacuum once a week. 10. Mop floors once a month. 11. Change air filters. 12. Purchase Christmas decorations. 13. Decorate guest bathroom. 14. Decorate guest bedroom. 15. Get new, more comfortable desk for the office. 16. Hang framed prints from Europe. 17. Decorate the master bedroom. 18. Hook up computer surround sound. 19. Mow lawn as needed. Don’t be a slacker. 20. Fertilize lawn 2x/year. 21. Obtain furniture for front porch.

 So, that's it or for now. I will find more later.

Ups and Downs

I used to watch "Married with Children" a lot when I was younger. I remember an episode in particular where Alphonse Hercules Bundy AKA Al Bundy had a really awesome streak of good luck. For the entire episode though, he could not bring himself to enjoy it because he knew that whenever he had good luck, bad luck was following close behind. Everything good that happened to him would be followed by an equally bad sequence of events.

I remember, a few months ago, writing about how everything was going really well. The house was good, I loved my job, everything relationship-wise was going well both personal and public. I also remember saying to myself, "enjoy this now, it probably won't be around forever". It seems at this point, I was right.

Much like Al, I am hitting a rough spot. I wouldn't say that I am anywhere near where Al was in terms of the bad. I mean... he was gambling against the mob and winning (Royal Flush, if I remember correctly). As soon as he won, a whole slew of bad stuff happened to him. This isn't totally the case with me. Nothing really horrible is happening, just well, not great.

I suppose this brings up the idea of ups and downs, good and bad, cyclical times in our lives. Who is to say what is good and what is bad? These are labels that we apply to things to mold our reality into something that we can handle; something that we can cope with. We apply these labels to things and then make up reasons to support said label in an attempt to make things right for us, in our own heads.

Case in point. I thought moving to Texas was going to be really bad. Really, REALLY bad! I could have thought of a million reasons as to why I should not go. A million reasons as to why I would fail and why I should just straight up not do it. But now, I look back and can see that I could not have been more wrong. In hindsight, it was actually really good.

For a while, I enjoyed being happy with every single thing and aspect in and of my life. I guess this reinforces the idea that all things pass. Good passes and so shall the bad. Everything passes. Even us.

Paths

Everyone has their own path. It is laid before them, at all times. You can choose to either see this path or not. Maybe your choice is made consciously or maybe it isn't. Regardless, your path is there whether you choose to see it or not. Don't confuse path with destiny or lack of free will. I am pretty sure that you have free will while you are on the path, but, decisions that you make can either keep you on or distract you from said path.

At various points in your life, you will meet other people. I know, you meet people everyday, but I'm talking about important people. Life changing people. You may think that their path is now yours or yours is now theirs, but look more closely. There are ALWAYS two paths. ALWAYS. They do not become one, they intertwine. Eventually, they will separate.

The separation is not necessarily a bad thing.

People attach meanings to things and events that aren't always correct, yet when then events happen, we have this compulsion to "feel" a certain way. Take the example of the child that falls down. Perhaps he hasn't yet been conditioned to think that falling down is "bad". He's not hurt. He gets up and carries on his merry way. Now, take that same child a few years later. He falls down, is not hurt, but thinks for a second, and starts crying. Why? Because he has learned that falling down is a bad thing. Where did he learn this? Who knows... where did YOU learn it?

I digress. The point here is that your life is about you. You and only you control your theater of experience. Although you are not in control over what thoughts and emotions arise within you, you ARE in control of the actions that you take regardless of what emotions are present. You need to take right actions despite what thoughts and emotions you might be thinking/feeling. This what being an adult is.

Anyway... I think I have rambled long enough. It's time to get some stoopid work done.

How much longer??

Ok... check this out.

24 = number of hours in a day

168 = number of hours in a week

8736 = number of hours in a year

698880 = number of hours in the average human life span ( see above )

If you are 27, like me, you have lived 235872 hours. You have 463008 left. That's only like 27780480 minutes...

How insane. I have more of less quantified my time left on Earth. How much time do you have left??? Are you using your time well? It's not infinite...

Will...

What is will? Have you ever thought about it? I hadn't really thought about it very much until lately. To start off in a cliche, I looked this up in Webster's online and found this:

1. used to express desire, choice, willingness, consent, or in negative constructions refusal <no one would take the job> <if we will all do our best> <will you please stop that racket>
   
2. used to express frequent, customary, or habitual action or natural tendency or disposition <will get angry over nothing> <will work one day and loaf the next>
   
3. used to express futurity <tomorrow morning I will wake up in this first-class hotel suite -- Tennessee Williams>
   
4. used to express capability or sufficiency <the back seat will hold three passengers>
   
5. used to express probability and often equivalent to the simple verb <that will be the babysitter>
   
1. used to express determination, insistence, persistence, or willfulness <I have made up my mind to go and go I will> 
2. used to express inevitability <accidents will happen>
   
7. used to express a command, exhortation, or injunction <you will do as I say, at once>

These are alright... but not really what I was looking for. This is the word "will" as used in human language. What I am talking about here is your metaphysical will, or perhaps, better understood as your "heart".

Last weekend, at the Lui Hsing seminar, Grandmaster Sin told us a story about will. I think that, although it is somewhat silly, it defines what "your will" means:

Image two roosters fighting. One is very large and one is small in comparison to the large one. If you were to bet on this fight, you would surely pick the large rooster to win, however, you most likely did not take into account the will of the smaller rooster. As they fight, the small rooster just keeps on going despite the fact that he is hurt.

Ultimately, the smaller rooster dies there, however, the large one dies two days later from injuries sustained from the smaller rooster.

That is will or you might even call it heart. The willingness to keep on going in the face of not-so-great odds.

Whether or not you know it, your will is tested every single day, most likely multiple times daily. Tests of will do not necessarily have to be large epic tests. They can be small things that you might not even notice. The most common example that I can think of is a daily workout. Personally, many times, I have wanted to bail out. I think to myself "why do I do this to myself" or "why do I put myself through this pain". That little voice tests my will. I have make the voice that says "get up and fight" or "keep going" stronger. This is my will.

Your will comes through in your life as well. You are the controller of your destiny. You impose your will upon reality and thus shape it accordingly. Compare the lifestyle of a destitute druggy with that of a successful person that is doing well with their life and making progress and accomplishments. Look at how they react to challenges in their life. Most likely, the druggy will run or turn to some sort of coping mechanism to avoid dealing with the challenge. Conversely, the successful person might meet that challenge head on and crush it. His will is clearly stronger.

So where I am going with all of this? Well, I'm not sure exactly. This all goes back to the seminar that I went to last week. The forms that we learned are intended to "nourish the will". Then, I thought, for people who do not know martial arts, how would they nourish the will?

I have felt at times that I had no will. I was sad, depressed, lacked confidence, etc. This was way before I started at Shaolin. At times, what brought me back from that was partly internal and partly external.

Internally, a lot of this is in your mind. You have no will because you THINK you have no will. All you need to do is change your thinking. It's that easy ( and that hard as well ).

Externally, I had my family to help me. They helped me to see that I do have the ability to meet challenges in my life no matter what they are. The external influence helped to change my thinking to the point where I believed that I can keep on going. I can stand back up.

How do you keep your will going? How do you deal with challenges in your life? Are you more prone to dodging/evading them, or do you meet them head on?

You go Bill Cosby...

Preface: The following was said by Bill Cosby, not me. I do, however agree and support what he is saying 100%. Think about it.

They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.  I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English
except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor
with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a
decent living. People marched and were hit in the
face with rocks to get an education, and now
we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up
their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting.  They are buying
things for kids. $500 sneakers for what ? ?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was  2  ?  
Where were you when he was 12 ? 
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol ? ?
And where is the father ?  Or who is his father ?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something ? 
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up ?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from?
We are not Africans.  Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail. 
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back. 

People used to be ashamed.  Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.   

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.  We, as black folks, have to do a better job.  Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. 

We cannot blame the white people any longer.

-- Dr. William Henry "Bill" Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

Wow...just.. wow...

So, Steph showed me this post on MySpace. It was a bulletin that someone posted. Read on for some reading enjoyment.

Without further ado, here is the post:

y must so many ppl bullshit 1 another these days? if it's not females bullshittin guys like they jus tha shyt or every nigga wanna get at them like chea rite babygurl dnt mean 2 bust ur bubble but u ain't really suppose 2 be up on that pedistaol.. lol excuse me as I laugh.. I jus dnt get that shyt.. or when sum 1 ask wats da deal.. babygurl dat mean mean I wanna holla atcha dat means wats da deal.. no more no less!!! I dnt kno who put all tha helium i ya big heads but i'll let dat shyt go.. an my fella's come on now stop tryna holla at these lame females makin think they da shyt like dat when they aint!!! not sayin' all tha females but u kno who u r.. yall nigga's need 2 get ya shyt str8 an stop playin' cause u makin us real nigga's look bad mayne!!!

As far as as I go I got a music page so dats a reason y I hit up some ppl I gotta kno if u like my shyt or not ya feel. u dnt a dude 2 send u a request w/o readin ur shyt.. then read mine an u would kno wat I do..

I jus think nigga's an females need 2 get they shyt str8 these days!! a if ya on here 4 freak purposes then say so, an if not then say that shyt 2.. u gota mouth.. damn it use it!!!!!

DIS TROUBLE AN IMMA END DIS WIT REAL RECOGNIZES REAL!!!! 100