Life these days...

Life these days is really good for me. I have been really happy and things have been going really well.

Last night I started going back to kung fu as I have been sort of flaky lately due to the new job and other events like the trip to Mississippi last weekend.

I got to school early and went through almost every form that I know just to be sure that I still know them =). Turns out I do.

Leopard class was really good. We finally finished the second road and I got an introduction to the 5th section of snake pakua. I love that stuff.

I am now looking at my schedule. I need to readjust is as I need to focus more on my 1st brown belt material for my test in August. I am maybe 1-2 weeks behind. It's not really a big deal, but I HATE being behind!

Other than kung fu, things with Victoria are awesome. She continue to show me every day what an awesome, caring, thoughtful person she is. I really got lucky with this one and I don't plan on letting it go.

Ok, I should actually do some work now =).

Bye!

Oh please...

So I was driving this morning and I heard a commercial on the radio:

"High school is hard. Graduating is <pause> harder."

... I don't remember the rest. I stopped listening after that one sentence. Technically, I didn't stop listening. Technically, I couldn't hear the commercial anymore as the words "are you serious?? are you fucking serious?!?!?!" were playing over and over in my head.

High school is... HARD?!?!??! I can think of many things that high school was... "hard" is not one of the words that comes to mind. Basic high school, save AP classes and anything outside of the basic curriculum is not by any means, hard.

Hey fella, I went to high school. I don't recall it being all that bad. I am about to give you some gems o' wisdom. Get ready to have you minds blow with my 3 STEP PLAN TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL:

1) Go.

2) Pay attention, somewhat.

3) Graduate.

... there you go. If you go to high school, and sit in the building for 8 hours/day (you DONT even have to go everyday, but shhh) and just kinda watch what the teacher is doing, you have a pretty good fucking chance of passing this particular class.

"What about homework? I don't want to do homework!"... well kid, I don't want to pay taxes, but you know what? I don't want to go to jail. Do you want to go to jail? Then go to fucking school, do you homework and stop whining.

Tell your friends / homies / bloods / crips / gang of any denomination / amigos / crew / posse / girlfriend / boyfriend / <whoever you hang out with> that you will see them in just a little while b/c you have some learnin' to do. They will call you names, but, when you are making a lot more money than them, you can call them whatever you want from your really nice house. You can even do a drive by insulting as I'm SURE your car, that you can afford b/c you sat in a building for 8 hours a day for 4 years and sorta stared towards the front of the room, can outrun theirs.

I don't know if I am getting older or if kids are getting worse. Maybe it's a little bit of both. I find that, these days, the majority kids do not know what it means to struggle for anything, or to achieve anything unless it's getting to level 65 in some video game. Hey, just so you know, that video game experience, doesn't ACTUALLY transfer to REAL LIFE experience, retard.

Kid: "Mom, this homework is too hard".

Mom: "Wow, I'm going to go have a word with your teacher tomorrow to get this homework difficulty reduced. How's that son? Oh, and don't forget your ritalin!"

How's about this... why don't you sit down with your little pile of shame and try to help them? Oh, you can't remember how to do this stuff? Well guess what, neither does the majority of America, but you know what? School has blessed you with the skill of reading. Put down the beer/crack/heroine/weed/acid/schrooms/X and help this poor thing that you have brought into the world. Make him/her a better person than you were. THEY NEED YOUR HELP.

Still, I am pretty sure that we are fucked....

Two Videos

These are 2 videos that you MUST watch. They are a bit long, but well worth the time spent. Wake up, people!

1) Money As Debt - Paul Grignon's 47-minute animated presentation of "Money as Debt" tells in very simple and effective graphic terms what money is and how it is being created. It is an entertaining way to get the message out. The Cowichan Citizens Coalition and its "Duncan Initiative" received high praise from those who previewed it. I recommend it as a painless but hard-hitting educational tool and encourage the widest distribution and use by all groups concerned with the present unsustainable monetary system in Canada and the United States.

\

2) Zeitgeist (I recommend torrenting this one)- Zeitgeist, produced by Peter Joseph, was created as a nonprofit expression to
inspire people to start looking at the world from a more critical perspective and to understand that
very often things are not what the population at large think they are. The information in Zeitgeist
was established over a year long period of research and the current Source page on
this site lists the basic sources used / referenced and the developing Interactive Transcript includes
exact source references and further information. A Q & A page is also being developed.

Dear former job...

We need to talk.

Look, it's not you, it's me. Well... maybe it's somewhat you too.

Things started off really well. You were really popular. Everyone told me that you were the way to go. I believed them. I RELOCATED for you. Do you know how big that is?? I uprooted my ENTIRE life, lost my girlfriend... all for you.

We had some really good times. You let me be myself for a little while and you let me thrive and get a lot of stuff done. I learned a lot of stuff that was really helpful to me within the context of my work with you. I really appreciate that.

You told me you cared about my career. You told me that I was in control. I believed you.

Things started going downhill.

We were together, I would say, oh, about 2 years at the time. I was getting antsy and feeling ready for a change. I let you know about this and you told me that I would have to wait. What? I thought I was in control of my career. Hmmm.. ok, I'll let that one slide. Former job 1, me 0.

You let me talk to others within about the possibility of working with them. I soon found out that you lied. You LIED to me, former job. I started to see that all of the skills that you had taught me were absolutely WORTHLESS outside your warm and fuzzy context. Nobody cared about what I had learned during my time with you. They would look at my resume and say "great, what else do you know?".

So, I did what I could do, oh, former job. I moved departments within you thinking that things would get a lot better. I could use all of this useless information you had made me acquire over the past 2.5 years and perhaps thrive and grow some more. Things were actually great for the first few weeks. How happy I was to not deal with those retards on the phone all day. "Hi, how do I add numbers with code?"... please go die now. This happiness, however, was short lived.

Again, former job, you were right, and I was wrong. Former job 2, me, 0.

I was optimistic. The management structure seemed awesome. The job seemed like it was engaging and fun. Damnit... again, I was wrong. You 3, me, 0.

You gave me no training whatsoever on this new task. You basically said, "hey, you pretty much know what you're doing, right? whatever, go for it, I got shit to do...oh, and read this 600 page architectural document from 12 years ago..."

Um... ok, former job, that isn't cool. I thought we were friends?

As a result of your "non interventionalist" approach to my working for you, I left work almost everyday feeling like a frustrated, moronic, retarded, stoopid. I wanted to put my fist through something every fucking day that I left you. On top of this feeling of frustration and useless that I got all day, everyday, I also had people complaining and bothering me to work on the things that hey had submitted. Sure, I didn't have enough grief, just pile that on too. I can take it. I'm like a dump truck for annoyances and complaints.

Things started out so great. What has happened?!?!? What has become of us? How did it get to this point, former job?

Well, former job, I will tell you. You are VERY good and giving people the illusion that you care. You are VERY good at making people think that you actually care about their careers and their personal development. I see now, in hindsight, that this is all straight bullshit. That's right former job, you can't fool me anymore. My shroud o' ignornace has been lifted.

When you don't:

1. let people do what makes them happy...
2. let people move to a new position when they feel it is time (given a reasonable stint in current position)...
3. let people know that what they do is important...
4. let people know that their efforts in working 60 hours a week at times don't go unnoticed...
5. allow people to learn relevant a pertinent skills to the marketplace...
6. train people on the stuff that is critical to their job yet expect them to continue to produce...

... PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO WANT TO "HANG IN THERE" AND STAY THE COURSE WITH YOU.

You can have the nicest managers, the best benefits, and even unlimited sick days. I LOVED the managers that you gave me, former job. I LOVED the flexibility that you provided me. I LOVED the unlimited sick days that you gave me. In spite of all this...

...I am leaving you.

You will not miss me, I know, and, the feeling is mutual. Just know, that it's for the best, for both of us.

And by the way your score, no longer matters. Bite me, former job. Me, 9,000,000,000, you nothing.

See you around.

 

Chicken Spaghetti

MMMmmmmm....

Chicken Spaghetti

From Diana Rattray,
Recipe Feedback:

Chicken spaghetti recipe with Cheddar and tomatoes with chile peppers.

INGREDIENTS:

• 6 cups chicken; cooked, cubed
• 1 package vermicelli spaghetti (7 to 8 oz)
• 2 large bell peppers, chopped
• 2 pounds onions, chopped
• 2 celery stalks, chopped
• 8 ounces sliced mushrooms
• 1/2 cup butter
• 2 cans Rotel tomatoes, diced (approx. 10 oz each)
• 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
• 1 pound Cheddar cheese, grated

PREPARATION:

Cook and season chicken. Save 1-1/2 quarts broth. Cook spaghetti in broth; drain, but do not rinse. In dutch oven or heavy pan saut&eacute pepper, onion, celery and mushrooms in butter. Add tomatoes.

Simmer for about 15 minutes to let the flavors blend. Add spaghetti, chicken and cheese. Let simmer for another 15 or 20 minutes until cheese melts and everything is bubbly.

In Mississippi!

(I wrote this on 4.19.2008, but couldn't post it until today)

We are in Mississippi!

The trip yesterday was pretty good. We ended up leaving a bit later than planned, but we still got here at the time that Victoria had predicted.

Overall, the road trip was pretty uneventful. We stopped twice - once for breakfast and once for gas and lunch. Although I was somewhat restless by the end, it went by pretty quickly.

We got to Philadelphia around 530pm. After a brief tour through the town, we arrived at Victoria’s father’s house where I met her father, step mother, her brother and one of his brothers friends. When we arrived, her brother (who is 11) was riding around on the motor cross track that his father built for him. It was pretty cool to see.

After visiting with them for a bit, we left to go to Victoria’s Granny’s house. This house is on 140 acres, which is, to be honest, unfathomable for me as:

a) I have no concept of how big an actual acre is.

b) I grew up in New York City. There is no such thing as an acre. We deal in sq. ft.

Anyway, she was very nice and cooked us one of Victoria’s favorite dinners called “Chicken Spaghetti”. This is something that I had never heard of, but will soon be trying to learn how to make. It was delicious. The dinner was accompanied by some delicious sweet tea. Also a first for me.

The dinner was followed by your choice of:

a) Cornflake candy – also delicious.

b) Coconut cake – holy crap.

c) Caramel cake – I didn’t taste this as, well, I just couldn’t eat anymore.

After dinner, we left and came back to her dad’s place. We ended up going to sleep around 930 or 10. We were both shot.

I woke up this morning and thought it was 10am, when in fact, it was only 630am. I guess that is what going to sleep early will do for you.

Today’s agenda will include going to eat some Greek food for lunch at a place called Keifer’s with Victoria’s other set of grandparents. Then after some visiting, we will go to her friend’s wedding.

See ya!

New Mobile Blog

With my sweet BJ2, I am starting a mobile blog. There is a link available in the links menu, but if you are lazy, like me, here you go:

http://bgoldsteinmobile.blogspot.com

Holy crap...

Scary? Awesome? Scary-awesome? You decide. I don't know yet...

They know what they are talking about...

Another OM... they keep posting really good ones.

April 11, 2008
Fluid Like a River
Living Like Water

The journey of water as it flows upon the earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. Water begins its residence on Earth as it falls from the sky or melts from ice and cascades down a mountain into a tributary or stream. In the same way, we come into the world and begin our lives on Earth. Like a river that flows within the confines of its banks, we are born with certain defining characteristics that govern our identity. We are born in a particular time and place, into a specific family, and with certain gifts and challenges. Within these parameters, we move through life, encountering many twists, turns, and obstacles along the way—just as a river flows.

Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility. When a river breaks at a waterfall, it gains energy and moves on. As we encounter our own waterfalls, we may fall hard, but we always keep going. Water can inspire us not to become rigid with fear or hold fast to what is familiar. Water is brave and does not waste time clinging to its past but flows onward without looking back. At the same time, when there is a hole to be filled, water does not flee from it, fearful of the dark; instead, it humbly and bravely fills the empty space. In the same way, we can face the dark moments of our life rather than running away from them.

Eventually, a river will empty into the sea. Water does not hold back from joining with a larger body, nor does it fear a loss of identity or control. It gracefully and humbly tumbles into the vastness by contributing its energy and merging without resistance. Each time we move beyond our individual egos to become part of something bigger, we can try our best to follow the lead of the river.

Not feeling great...

I am not sure what has been up with me lately. I am just not feeling good. Not sick or anything, just physically tired and drained.

For the past week or so, I have been feeling this way... tired... sore... all I really want to do physically is lay in bed. Maybe it's the weather, I don't know. Maybe I just need to not do anything at all for a week or so.

Yesterday, I tried to go to class in the morning. I didn't feel good on the way, and honestly, I should have just gone home, but I went anyway. I got through 45 min of class then had to stop b/c I was feeling, well, not good. I did get the rest of SeaDragon Cane though, so it wasn't a total bust. 2 out of 5 down for the black belt test in August.

My grandparents are here visiting. I have been having fun with them. I think they are having a good time too.

Whoa...

If you ever thought you were strong, watch this... amazing...

The OM's keep a comin...

I have thought about this many times. I am sure that all of us see many people through out the day where you just kind of shake your head and say..."wow... you don't get it all, do you?". Interesting read...

April 7, 2008
People Who Don’t Get It
Compassion for All

You may be someone who understands the true nature of reality, perceiving deeply that we all emanate from the same source, that we are all essentially one, and that we are here on Earth to love one another. To understand this is to be awakened to the true nature of the self, and this understanding is a blessing. Nevertheless, people who just do not get it are seemingly everywhere and, often, occupy positions of power. It can be frustrating and painful to watch them behave unconsciously.

We all encounter individuals such as this in our families, at work, and in all areas of public life. It is easy to find ourselves feeling intolerant of these people, wishing we could be free of them even though we know that separation from them is an illusion.

It helps sometimes to think of us all as different parts of one psyche. Within our own hearts and minds we have dark places that need healing, just as the heart and mind of the world have their dark places. The health of the whole organism depends upon the relative health of the individuals within it. We increase harmony when we hold on to the light, not allowing it to be clouded by judgment, anger, and fear about those who behave unconsciously. It is easier to accomplish this if we don’t focus on the negative qualities of individuals and instead on how increasing our own light will increase that of the overall picture.

When dealing with people who seem very unconscious, it helps to remember that everyone must find their own way to awakening, and that the experiences they are having are an essential part of their process. Holding them in the glow of our energy may be the best way to awaken theirs. At the same time, we are inspired by their example to look within and shed light on our own unconscious places, sacrificing the urge to judge and surrendering instead to humble self-inquiry.

Weekend Recap...

This was a really nice weekend. Allow me to recap:

Friday - A pretty uneventful work day, but, since I did work at home, I got a chance to get a killer work out in at the fit forge (my garage). This workout consisted of:

Jump Rope: 5m / 4m / 3m / 2m / 1m / 30s / 15s / 30s / 1m / 2m = 19m, 15s

Tabata Set:

1. Heavy Bag
2. Wood choppers with a medicine ball
3. Crunches / Reverse Crunches
4. That thing where you hold the plate in front of your chest then move it around the back of your head.
5. Jar holding

After finishing work, I shaved my head with Victoria's help:

 

... hilarious... I'm keeping it... for now...

That night, Victoria and I ate dinner at home, then went over to Shooter's for a few to play some pool. It was a fun time. I hadn't done that in a while.

Saturday, was a day filled with errands in preparation for my grandparents coming to visit. I don't really remember a whole lot from yesterday, but I did get caught up on some laundry as well as some Ratchet and Clank for the PS3... very fun game.

We went to pick my grandparents up at 7pm, which was when their plane landed. Nice how that works out. After getting them, we stopped to get a bite to eat, then came home and chilled out for the rest of the night.

Today (Sunday), we slept in a little, got up, ate breakfast. We did a lot of hanging around today. I was supposed to go meet my friend Jose to talk about a project that we are working on, but that didn't work out. Anyway... we ended up going to HEB to grab some groceries, then over to Home Depot. My grandfather was very gracious to buy me some stones for my flowerbeds in the front of the house. They look nice. I will post some pics when I take some.

On a good suggestion from Ryon, I also picked up some parts from Home Depot to build these:

http://www.rosstraining.com/articles/wheel.html

Here's the video... insane:

All in all, they cost around $25 for BOTH!!! I tried them after I made them... I have a lot of work to do to get even close to this dude, or... well... anyone who is competent with these things. Whoa... ab pain... whoa...

Also, him and my grandmother cooked some arroz con pollo...mmmm.... for your gringos, that means "rice with chicken". After eating that, we did some more hanging out. And, here I am... laying in bed, 1/2 watching ATHF, 1/2 blogging.

Looking forward, this coming week is my last at my current employer. I will be sure to post some more regarding my feelings on this topic. Unfortunately, being that this is a public forum, I can't really speak or write what I really want to. It will be a good one... I promise = ) ... stay tuned.

Another DailyOM...

Read it... this is a good one:

April 4, 2008
Permission To Forgive Ourselves
Releasing Guilt

Learning to accept the things that we perceive as wrong can be a difficult task for many of us. Often we have been brought up to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about our actions and that by doing so we will make everything seem alright within ourselves. Even though we might feel that we have a reason to make up for the choices we have made, it is much more important for us to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and positive way, such as through forgiveness and understanding.

When we can look back at our past and really assess what has happened, we begin to realize that there are many dimensions to our actions. While feeling guilty might assuage our feelings at first, it is really only a short-term solution. It is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out. If we truly are able to gaze upon our lives through the lens of compassion, however, we will be able to see that there is much more to what we do and have done than we realize. Perhaps we were simply trying to protect ourselves or others and did the best we could at the time, or maybe we thought we had no other recourse and chose a solution in the heat of the moment. Once we can understand that dwelling in our negative feelings will only make us feel worse, we will come to recognize that it is really only through forgiving ourselves that we can transform our feelings and truly heal any resentment we have about our past.

Giving ourselves permission to feel at peace with our past actions is one of the most positive steps we can take toward living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more we are able to remind ourselves that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy we will experience in all aspects of our lives.

This OM just makes me think of some things that I learned from reading "Way of the Peaceful Warrior":

- You have no control over your emotions as they will come and go like the weather. You can only control your actions regardless of what your emotions may tell you. "Being emotional" is not an excuse for not doing the right thing.

- Every decision you make is the right decision for you at the time that you make it. Whether you choose option A, B, or C, you will be lead down a path that will lead to wisdom. Honor that path as you can always learn from it.

- Do not stress over things that you cannot control. Everything happens for a reason whether the reason is obvious or not. I have seen this time and again in my own life. Things that I thought were horrible at the time turned out to be some of the best things that ever happened to me in retrospect.

- Life will present you with lessons as you travel along on your way. If you do not see them and learn from them, the lessons will become more severe until you are forced to see them. Pay careful attention to yourself; the way you react to things and the decisions you make. Be honest with yourself about why you do the things that you do. Look at your life from a third party perspective and analyze trends in your life: what kinds of partners do you pick? what kinds of decisions do you make with regard to your job?

In looking at this point, I found a particular trend in the kinds of partners I was picking to be with. I never realized it until recently, after my last break up.

Up until this point, almost every girl I had picked to be a girlfriend (with 1 or 2 exceptions) had been a girl that I felt needed to be taken care of and mostly came from a broken or unstable home. I won't go into any more detail as this is a public forum, but, and interesting trend indeed.

Because of this recognition, I feel that I was able to make a more informed choice, if you will, this time around. VIctoria is very different from most other girls I have been with. Her caring for my feelings, what I want, how I feel, astounds me. I thought that quality in women was pretty much dead. Indeed, it is a rarity, and I am happy that I have found it. I love her to death.

At any rate, I digress. If any of the 3 of you that read this blog haven't read that book, I highly recommend it. It can have it's somewhat cheesy parts, but overall there is a good deal of things anyone can learn from it.

Have a nice weekend!!