Saturday, December 29, 2007

I hate you SI. I hate you so much...

Ok... so, my neighbor Vinny, his girlfriend Amanda, and myself tied one on like no one's business last night. Well... I did... I'm not too sure about them = ).

So, Amanda's friend drove us to the ferry terminal. How nice! We will have a ride back, right? NO. Not right.

Let's back up for a second. Vinny and Amanda have a flight to make at 7am. Yes, that's right, 7am. They wanted to leave the bar around 1am. Reasonable. Sleep on the plane sorta thing. The driving friend knows this.

Around, oh, 2am, this girl decides she doesn't want to leave. Nice. How considerate. Personally, I don't care. I don't have to be up at any particular time today. I don't care. I DO however, think that is messed up and that you shouldn't do that to your friends. I wouldn't ever do that to someone.

Vinny, Amanda, Anthony, and I go to get a slice at the pi33aria on the corner (yes, it was leet... that was actually on the awning... the bar was on 33rd and 3rd). Anthony offered to drive us to the ferry. Very nice guy. If not for him, we would have missed the 230am ferry and would have had to sit there until 330am.

Yes, it's the tiny boat. The venerable "John A. Noble". I don't know who John A. Noble was, nor do I really care. He must have been some kind of horrible person b/c they named this shitty little tugboat ferry after him. I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang and a rocking ferry boat, I am not so sure.

We get off the ferry and walk to the "taxi" ramp. They are not taxi's at all. The are guys who drive normal cars and call themselves "car service". Whatever.. just take my home. We get into the minivan cab and there is already a guy waiting there. We are the 2nd fare. Fantastic.

Mr. 2nd fare has no idea where he is going. He is on the phone with his stupid inner city friend who also does not know how to guide him to where he needs to go. I am ready to kill someone.

I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang, a rocking ferry boat, and a jerky minivan in the rain, I am definitely not so sure... at all. I ask the driver to pull over. I need to give some back. Picture Jackie Chan in "The Legend of Drunken Master". I want to continue fighting, but, my levels aren't right. I feel better, but not by much.

Finally, Mr. 2nd fare figures out where he is going and gets dropped the hell off. The driver proceeds to our area. We guide him using the most direct route. It's like 345am. I want to die.

He misses this turn and pulls a U. He missed that turn and pulls a U. Is this some sort of cosmic joke? Are you for real guy? Lemme see your license! So he gets to our block. I say to him "3/4 of the way down, on the left". He proceeds to jerk stop at every house as if to say "this one? this one? this one? this one? this one?" thus straining even further my estomachal fortitude. He finally jerk stops close enough to my house.

I roll in like a tornado and go to sleep. I hope Vinny and Amanda had a decent flight.

And... to the girl that "didn't want to leave" b/c she was "having too much fun". Fuck you, bitch. I hope I never see you again. You are messed up and mostly what is wrong with people today. I wish you all the trouble and frustration that you caused us.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Have you ever....

... met the perfect person, but the timing and circumstances are just not right? Sigh...

Friday, December 21, 2007

Good news, everyone!

It looks like things may be starting to turn around and this rut that I have been in may be coming to a screeching halt.

As I was packing and getting ready to leave for home, I got a call from my friend. I have been talking with this friend about joining his company, but up until a few months ago, it didn't seem stable enough. I have been talking with him over the past few weeks regarding his business and how it's going. Turns out they are having fulfillment problems, i.e. not enough people to do the work that they are bringing in.

They are using cool technologies (none IBM, thank god) and doing very cool work. So, he tells me that he has agreed on a deal that will be funding my salary.

Anyway, an offer is being drafted and should be ready by the time I am in NYC. If all goes well, meaning, I look at it on Thursday and I like it, I will sign it. When I get back to Austin, I will give my current employer notice... and that will be that.

Fucking awesome. Small company, cool technology, shifting responsibilities. Everything I do matters. I am not a cog in a giant machine. I'm like.. uh.. a big part of the machine... sorry... I couldn't think of anything witty.

In other good news, I got to talk to 2 old friends yesterday. One really, really old, like from when I was in grade school and one from high school. I very much hope that I will get to see them both while I am home.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Hmph

I have no motivation. There, I said it.

I have had no motivation anywhere lately... work, kung fu, house, <anything else you can think of>. In fact, Christmas is almost here, and well, whatever. I am happy to go and see my family and friends, but Christmas, I think I can do without this year. I feel nothing.

My general feeling these days is "eh". Everything... is "eh". The range of emotion doesn't really seem to be there. Oh, something really good happened? "Eh, that's cool". Oh, did something bad happen? "Eh, that sucks". Eh...

By the way, how in the hell is tomorrow only Tuesday. For the love of god, can't I just be zonked out until Friday? If any of you reading this are hypnotists, please contact me. Here's my request. It's very similar to "Office Space". Now, from the hours of 8am - 5pm everyday, I don't want to know that I am working. By all means, engage the part of the brain needed for the job to do it's thing, but, can we like, at the same time, fool me into thinking that I am doing something that I enjoy all day? Maybe like... kung fu, or um... god, I don't know.. sleeping? Can we make it so that everyday, despite the fact that I have been working, I feel like I just woke up at 5pm? Please? Anyone??

Ah, screw it... I'm going to sleep.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Awesome Best of CL Posting

I read this today on the best of Craig's list... I could not have said it better:

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact hat you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.


Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Sunday Night

Thank to Troy for helping me get the garage door opener 90% done. It is MUCH appreciated. At the cost of pizza and beer, who can beat that?? You're a good guy.

Also thanks to Nik for allowing me to try and play in his rock band. I will be better next time, I promise.

G'nite all..

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Saturday Morning @ It's A Grind

Alright, well, I wouldn't call it a whole morning, more like 15 minutes. I came here to work on my list some more. I was able to add a few things to it, but it's getting hard as I get past 70 things. I am amazed that I was able to come up with 70! This is a really good exercise. It is really making me think about me and the stuff that I want to do, which well, I haven't really seriously thought about in a long, long time.

I actually have to leave in a few. I am going to Kung Fu today. I don't usually go on Saturdays, but yesterday's class was brutal, and if I sit still in the house all day, I will just get more sore. Maybe some Golden Leopard will do me good.

Later, I am going down to Rand's house with Ryon to watch the Ultimate Fighter season finale. That should be fun.

I have been feeling very blah for the past few days. I need to not get into a situation where I allow myself to sulk in my house by myself. It's very weird for me to have be active in searching for things to do. Most of the time, I end up just kind of doing nothing. I can't let the hole drag me down this time!

Friday, December 07, 2007

101 in 1001

Ryon showed me this site yesterday:

This idea is an alternative for a "New Year's Resolution". Resolutions are lame. We all know it. How many years have you made a new year's resolution, stuck to it for 3 weeks, then returned to your normal <whatever your resolved to change>? How many years have you made the SAME resolution that you did the previous year, then flake out?

This idea, I think, is great. Instead of just one year, you get 1001 days which is (1001/365 = ) 2.742468 years. In this time, you set 101 goals to accomplish. They can be major ones, but they don't have to be. They can be something as simple as "hang a picture" or "take a class on <x>".

I have decided that I want to do this.

Last night, I went to the new "It's a Grind" that just opened by my house and started getting my list in place. I've got about 69 things on there so far. Just 32 more to go. I split mine up into 4 categories. These may change, but here goes:

Personal/Mental Physical

1. Meditate no less than 3x /week.

2. Read at least 1 book per month.

3. Wash my car 2x/month.

4. Wax car every 6 months.

5. Don’t forget a birthday.

6. Talk to at least 1 stranger / week.

7. Meet a friend for coffee at least once a week.

8. Cook something new at minimum once per week.

9. Incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my diet.

10. Complain less.

11. Swear/cuss less.

12. Shave every 2 days.

13. Pay down debt.

14. Do not buy things that I do not need.

15. Watch less TV.

16. Use the computer less.

17. Don’t stay home as much.

18. Downgrade Dish! Network to cheapest plan possible.

19. Downgrade home phone service to cheapest plan possible.

20. Do not participate in negative speech regarding others.

21. Invite friends over to my house more often.

22. Become friends with Stephanie.

23. Don’t be afraid to go on a date.

24. Go to a show every once in a while.

25. Write for 5 minutes per day before I go to sleep.

26. Call my grandparents 2x/week.

27. Go to Spain with Jose.

28. Stop looking for a girl.

29. Go to a comedy club once a month.

30. See a movie once a month.

31. Eat sushi 2x / month.

1. Obtain my 2nd Black Belt.

2. Do something physical no less that 4x/week.

3. Relearn 4 roads of Meteor Fist.

4. Purchase a bicycle.

5. Ride bicycle.

6. See a dentist 2x/year.

7. See an optometrist 2x/year.

8. Get a physical 1x/year.

9. Try acupuncture.

10. Practice Chi Gung at least 2x/week.

11. Learn Tai Chi Broadsword.

12. Learn Tai Chi Broadsword 2 man set.

13. Practice Chen Tai Chi at least 2x/week.

Career House

1. Move to a position that stimulates me mentally.

2. Move to a position where I care about the work that I am doing.

3. Stop counting the minutes until Friday 5pm.

4. Pick a programming project that I have always wanted to implement and do it.

1. Build fire pit in the back yard.

2. Build shelving in the garage.

3. Build work bench in the garage.

4. Obtain and hang a ceiling fan in the living room.

5. Box out front flower beds and trees.

6. Replant flowerbeds.

7. Start an herb garden.

8. Install garage door opener.

9. Vacuum once a week.

10. Mop floors once a month.

11. Change air filters.

12. Purchase Christmas decorations.

13. Decorate guest bathroom.

14. Decorate guest bedroom.

15. Get new, more comfortable desk for the office.

16. Hang framed prints from Europe.

17. Decorate the master bedroom.

18. Hook up computer surround sound.

19. Mow lawn as needed. Don’t be a slacker.

20. Fertilize lawn 2x/year.

21. Obtain furniture for front porch.

 So, that's it or for now. I will find more later.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

CORRECTION

It was brought to my attention that my recollection of events is not entirely correct. In the posting titled "About to go to sleep...", I state that Tommy asked if I wanted to go get food. I would like to set the record straight and say that both Tommy AND Elizabeth offered to go get food. There. Happy? = )

Thesis Rant - Topic: Materialism

The following rant is aimed at no one in particular. This seems to be something that is becoming out of control in out culture/society and I wanted to write about it. Put your seatbelt on, I read this already and it's rough.

I hate materialism. If you are a materialistic person, I hate you too. Please don't ever talk to me. Additionally, please take this time to purge your genes from the human genome. It will be better for everyone in the big picture. If you are unsure about why you should be purging yourself, please read on, then, please, purge yourself. If you STILL don't get it, consider THAT the reason, and purge yourself anyway.

<Rant>

There aren't too many things or people in this world that I can say that I "hate". Materialism and materialistic people are, however in this category.

Look at the world around you. It seems to be getting worse every day. Watch the news, watch E!, go to a mall, what do you see? People obsessed with "things"..."stuff"... perhaps pretty on the outside, but shallow as the grand fucking canyon.

Oh!, look at what he/she one got me! I have to tell everyone and everyone should know b/c I'm so self absorbed yet so incredibly dead inside that I need validation from everyone around me just to feel a shred of real happiness in my horribly shallow, shitty life. . Who, by the way, all feed into the illusion that "you're hot", or sexually marketable in some strange, "wouldn't fuck that with a football field sized pole, and noise canceling headphones, my spinal cord severed, OH!, and a blindfold" sorta way. I hate you. Die. Please, for Christmas, for me, die. All of you.

What can this do for me? What can that do for me? What is he/she going to buy me? Where is he/she going to take me? Where in the hell has any sort of feeling for self responsibility, self respect, or self love gone? Well, they seem to be gone. It's all about "me" these days.

From what I can tell, a large part of the population seems to only give a flying fuck about themselves. Themselves and no one else. Me... me... me memem emememememememememememememe!!!!!!OIfhseavfhu uadfhajkjfklhgLU!@^#%^@%#^%@#%&@#&%(@*#)(*@)&#*^*&@^#&*@$#%!$ #@ *%*&#

Sorry, I got a little mad. No, wait.. I am not sorry.

I feel like everyday, our society and the people therein go down the spiral just a bit more. My generation of people ... a generation of fucking self absorbed, medicated (in some way.. pot, alcohol, meds cuz I have the fictional "disease" known as ADD, you name it), don't give a fuck 'bout nothing but "me" fucking fuck ups. This is our future... my, my how brightly it shines.

What happened to people that have substance? What happened to people that could talk about things other than what they want from here and what they want from there? What about what you want out of life??? Are clothes, cars, tvs, diamonds, and shoes all you want?? Is there nothing more???

What happened to people that worked for things? What happened to people that have self control? Sure, there are people out there, but they, we, are in the minority these days, it seems.

I don't even know where to go from here.

We have shows on TV that show the pettiness and shallowness of people. We have TV shows that highlight people being irresponsible, intoxicated, rude, obnoxious, horrible, wretched people with absolutely zero redeeming qualities. AND THIS IS IDOLIZED AND EMULATED!!!! Can someone please kill ME now? I have seen enough. We are done.

</Rant>

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