Will...

What is will? Have you ever thought about it? I hadn't really thought about it very much until lately. To start off in a cliche, I looked this up in Webster's online and found this:

1. used to express desire, choice, willingness, consent, or in negative constructions refusal <no one would take the job> <if we will all do our best> <will you please stop that racket>
   
2. used to express frequent, customary, or habitual action or natural tendency or disposition <will get angry over nothing> <will work one day and loaf the next>
   
3. used to express futurity <tomorrow morning I will wake up in this first-class hotel suite -- Tennessee Williams>
   
4. used to express capability or sufficiency <the back seat will hold three passengers>
   
5. used to express probability and often equivalent to the simple verb <that will be the babysitter>
   
1. used to express determination, insistence, persistence, or willfulness <I have made up my mind to go and go I will> 
2. used to express inevitability <accidents will happen>
   
7. used to express a command, exhortation, or injunction <you will do as I say, at once>

These are alright... but not really what I was looking for. This is the word "will" as used in human language. What I am talking about here is your metaphysical will, or perhaps, better understood as your "heart".

Last weekend, at the Lui Hsing seminar, Grandmaster Sin told us a story about will. I think that, although it is somewhat silly, it defines what "your will" means:

Image two roosters fighting. One is very large and one is small in comparison to the large one. If you were to bet on this fight, you would surely pick the large rooster to win, however, you most likely did not take into account the will of the smaller rooster. As they fight, the small rooster just keeps on going despite the fact that he is hurt.

Ultimately, the smaller rooster dies there, however, the large one dies two days later from injuries sustained from the smaller rooster.

That is will or you might even call it heart. The willingness to keep on going in the face of not-so-great odds.

Whether or not you know it, your will is tested every single day, most likely multiple times daily. Tests of will do not necessarily have to be large epic tests. They can be small things that you might not even notice. The most common example that I can think of is a daily workout. Personally, many times, I have wanted to bail out. I think to myself "why do I do this to myself" or "why do I put myself through this pain". That little voice tests my will. I have make the voice that says "get up and fight" or "keep going" stronger. This is my will.

Your will comes through in your life as well. You are the controller of your destiny. You impose your will upon reality and thus shape it accordingly. Compare the lifestyle of a destitute druggy with that of a successful person that is doing well with their life and making progress and accomplishments. Look at how they react to challenges in their life. Most likely, the druggy will run or turn to some sort of coping mechanism to avoid dealing with the challenge. Conversely, the successful person might meet that challenge head on and crush it. His will is clearly stronger.

So where I am going with all of this? Well, I'm not sure exactly. This all goes back to the seminar that I went to last week. The forms that we learned are intended to "nourish the will". Then, I thought, for people who do not know martial arts, how would they nourish the will?

I have felt at times that I had no will. I was sad, depressed, lacked confidence, etc. This was way before I started at Shaolin. At times, what brought me back from that was partly internal and partly external.

Internally, a lot of this is in your mind. You have no will because you THINK you have no will. All you need to do is change your thinking. It's that easy ( and that hard as well ).

Externally, I had my family to help me. They helped me to see that I do have the ability to meet challenges in my life no matter what they are. The external influence helped to change my thinking to the point where I believed that I can keep on going. I can stand back up.

How do you keep your will going? How do you deal with challenges in your life? Are you more prone to dodging/evading them, or do you meet them head on?