There you are again... you have been away for a few weeks. Thrilled that you're back...
The lonliness is back this week... just peeking its head to make sure that I know it's still there. I was invited to go out tonight with a group of people, but I made up excuses so that I wouldn't have to go... I have a doc's appt tomorrow... I'm really tired... well... I actually am really tired, but I not tired enough to not be able to go out...
The point is that I made up shit so that I wouldn't have to be in the position to be out around people that I don't know. It has been scaring me more and more lately to think about being around people that I don't know. Thing is, when I know that I am making up these excuses to not go out, I sit home and feel sorry for myself. I think that if I would have gone, I would just be standing around feeling sorry for myself anyway b/c no one would talk to me... so why not do it in the comfort of my apartment? I can be there alone too...
Maybe I'll sleep through the night tonight and feel like I actually slept. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and actually feel like I am a person... maybe... I'm not gettin my hopes up...
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2 comments:
Bry.. believe it or not you and I have grown closer since you moved to TX. YOu have become one of my greatest friends. Keep your head up... You only deserve the best... you will get over this... tell lonliness to peek back out of that window!
TTYL
A
sooooo it pisses me off that you refer to yourself as not being a real person.. this isnt you... youre so loved by many... maybe you have to take baby steps and go out.. put yourself out there and yeah maybe you will feel alone.. but im learning that you have to try and if you feel shitty after at least you tried... maybe you should really look at yourself.. you really are one of the best people i know brain... and youre my best friend and i hate to see that you think of yourself this way... and for that.. when you come home.. i will attempt.. to kick your ass
have a nice day
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