Sunday...

I got some interesting advice this morning from my grandfather who is leaving for Puerto Rico today. The conversation when something like this:

Him: So what are you doing today.
Me: Nothing.
Him: Go out and find a girlfriend. Be a whore. I used to be a whore.
Me: Yeah. I'll get right on that.

I didn't do much of anything yesterday. I was supposed to meet Sonya, but that never happened. I called her around 11 to tell her I was ready to go down there, but she said that she had to help her friend move and that she'd call when she was done. She never called. I knew she wasn't going to call. Oh well... another example of how hoping for things only leads to disappointment.

Instead, I called Rafael and he helped me run my xbox network cable around my living room. We played some video games, then got some food and went back to his house. I ended up going to the the 40 year old virgin last night. It was pretty funny, but, I hate to admit this... anything that I see that has people that are in love, fictional or not, depresses me. Again, that movie was hilarious, but I still left feeling sorry for myself.

I realized something else this weekend. Friday night, I met Jose, Lucy, Allan, and Maria-Elena (Allan's wife) at this place called Red Fez. Now, that's a cool place, but I cannot recall the last time that I felt so uncomfortable to be in a public area... mostly b/c there were soo many really hot girls there. I always say that it's hard for me to meet new people b/c my friends are married and don't do things out. Well... I was out... with my friends who are both married... and it was exactly the same as when I went out with Mauricio... except well, they included me in the night, but still. There are fucking hot ass girls everywhere here but I can't talk to anyone. I wouldn't even know the first thing to say. I have never ... ever gotten girl's phone number... sad.

So, needless to say, I am in quite the funk today. I think what it really comes down to is this; I see most people around me that have someone to go through life with. That's a pretty cool thing, when someone agrees or is willing to go through all the shit that fucking life is with you. I would really like that...

How do I feel right now?

• Sick of life.
• Lonley.
• Sort of loserish.