I hate you SI. I hate you so much...

Ok... so, my neighbor Vinny, his girlfriend Amanda, and myself tied one on like no one's business last night. Well... I did... I'm not too sure about them = ).

So, Amanda's friend drove us to the ferry terminal. How nice! We will have a ride back, right? NO. Not right.

Let's back up for a second. Vinny and Amanda have a flight to make at 7am. Yes, that's right, 7am. They wanted to leave the bar around 1am. Reasonable. Sleep on the plane sorta thing. The driving friend knows this.

Around, oh, 2am, this girl decides she doesn't want to leave. Nice. How considerate. Personally, I don't care. I don't have to be up at any particular time today. I don't care. I DO however, think that is messed up and that you shouldn't do that to your friends. I wouldn't ever do that to someone.

Vinny, Amanda, Anthony, and I go to get a slice at the pi33aria on the corner (yes, it was leet... that was actually on the awning... the bar was on 33rd and 3rd). Anthony offered to drive us to the ferry. Very nice guy. If not for him, we would have missed the 230am ferry and would have had to sit there until 330am.

Yes, it's the tiny boat. The venerable "John A. Noble". I don't know who John A. Noble was, nor do I really care. He must have been some kind of horrible person b/c they named this shitty little tugboat ferry after him. I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang and a rocking ferry boat, I am not so sure.

We get off the ferry and walk to the "taxi" ramp. They are not taxi's at all. The are guys who drive normal cars and call themselves "car service". Whatever.. just take my home. We get into the minivan cab and there is already a guy waiting there. We are the 2nd fare. Fantastic.

Mr. 2nd fare has no idea where he is going. He is on the phone with his stupid inner city friend who also does not know how to guide him to where he needs to go. I am ready to kill someone.

I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang, a rocking ferry boat, and a jerky minivan in the rain, I am definitely not so sure... at all. I ask the driver to pull over. I need to give some back. Picture Jackie Chan in "The Legend of Drunken Master". I want to continue fighting, but, my levels aren't right. I feel better, but not by much.

Finally, Mr. 2nd fare figures out where he is going and gets dropped the hell off. The driver proceeds to our area. We guide him using the most direct route. It's like 345am. I want to die.

He misses this turn and pulls a U. He missed that turn and pulls a U. Is this some sort of cosmic joke? Are you for real guy? Lemme see your license! So he gets to our block. I say to him "3/4 of the way down, on the left". He proceeds to jerk stop at every house as if to say "this one? this one? this one? this one? this one?" thus straining even further my estomachal fortitude. He finally jerk stops close enough to my house.

I roll in like a tornado and go to sleep. I hope Vinny and Amanda had a decent flight.

And... to the girl that "didn't want to leave" b/c she was "having too much fun". Fuck you, bitch. I hope I never see you again. You are messed up and mostly what is wrong with people today. I wish you all the trouble and frustration that you caused us.

Have you ever....

... met the perfect person, but the timing and circumstances are just not right? Sigh...

Good news, everyone!

It looks like things may be starting to turn around and this rut that I have been in may be coming to a screeching halt.

As I was packing and getting ready to leave for home, I got a call from my friend. I have been talking with this friend about joining his company, but up until a few months ago, it didn't seem stable enough. I have been talking with him over the past few weeks regarding his business and how it's going. Turns out they are having fulfillment problems, i.e. not enough people to do the work that they are bringing in.

They are using cool technologies (none IBM, thank god) and doing very cool work. So, he tells me that he has agreed on a deal that will be funding my salary.

Anyway, an offer is being drafted and should be ready by the time I am in NYC. If all goes well, meaning, I look at it on Thursday and I like it, I will sign it. When I get back to Austin, I will give my current employer notice... and that will be that.

Fucking awesome. Small company, cool technology, shifting responsibilities. Everything I do matters. I am not a cog in a giant machine. I'm like.. uh.. a big part of the machine... sorry... I couldn't think of anything witty.

In other good news, I got to talk to 2 old friends yesterday. One really, really old, like from when I was in grade school and one from high school. I very much hope that I will get to see them both while I am home.

Hmph

I have no motivation. There, I said it.

I have had no motivation anywhere lately... work, kung fu, house, <anything else you can think of>. In fact, Christmas is almost here, and well, whatever. I am happy to go and see my family and friends, but Christmas, I think I can do without this year. I feel nothing.

My general feeling these days is "eh". Everything... is "eh". The range of emotion doesn't really seem to be there. Oh, something really good happened? "Eh, that's cool". Oh, did something bad happen? "Eh, that sucks". Eh...

By the way, how in the hell is tomorrow only Tuesday. For the love of god, can't I just be zonked out until Friday? If any of you reading this are hypnotists, please contact me. Here's my request. It's very similar to "Office Space". Now, from the hours of 8am - 5pm everyday, I don't want to know that I am working. By all means, engage the part of the brain needed for the job to do it's thing, but, can we like, at the same time, fool me into thinking that I am doing something that I enjoy all day? Maybe like... kung fu, or um... god, I don't know.. sleeping? Can we make it so that everyday, despite the fact that I have been working, I feel like I just woke up at 5pm? Please? Anyone??

Ah, screw it... I'm going to sleep.

Awesome Best of CL Posting

I read this today on the best of Craig's list... I could not have said it better:

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact hat you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy