Aviation Misery

I used to like flying. I really did. As time goes on, I find that I hate it more and more. It's not so much the actual flight itself. I am fine once I am in the air. In fact, flying is an excellent way to practice release of control. You get in that seat, and well, whatever is going to happen will happen. You have no control.

Anyway. Like I said, the actual flying isn't bad. It's all the bullshit that you have to go through to get on/off/in/out of planes. Security, I am ok with. I don't need to have any security problems on planes. Neither does anyone else.

As I think though my intense hatred of the act of flying, I am starting to narrow down the two things that really make me miserable.

1. Connecting flights - I hate. Hate hate hate connecting flights. They add a level of stress to flying that is really just not needed. Currently, I am on flight 2 of 3 today. I am hoping to make my connection, but due to weather and volume, but who knows. Then, if you DO miss the connecting flight, you have deal with the stress of trying to figure out what to do. God know the airline employees could care less.
2. People - Now, as I get older, I notice that I have a growing dislike for the public masses at large. This dislike is accentuated and elevated when in an airport or on a plane. People wander around aimlessly constantly in my way. People take forever to put their shit up in an overhead storage compartment. People take forever to get their shit DOWN from an overhead storage compartment. What the fuck is so hard?!?! Do you now know that you have like over 100 people staring at your slow ass just chomping at the bit to get off the plane to see a loved on or make a transfer.

In case you are now wondering "where is Bryan going?", I will tell you. I am on my way to Newburgh, NY for some work training. I was supposed to go back on Friday, but unfortunately, my grandmother (on my dad's side) passed away adn there is a memorial service for her on Sunday. So, in addition to the week, I am also staying the weekend. I will be back in Austin a week from today.

This training is for the Microsoft IAG product which will be extremely helpful for me in my professional life.

In other news, you may have seen pictures or heard us talk about Astoria. She was a black border collie/lab mix that we had for a few weeks. Unfortunately, it did not work out with her. She had just way too much energy and we were not able to provide enough of an outlet for her. She chewed up a bunch of stuff in the closet including 3 pairs of my shoes and my sparring gear (see ya in class without it, no gear, no contact, tee hee). I can only assume that she did this because she was left alone for so long with nothing to do. I can't really blame the dog or anything for this other than we didn't provide enough of an outlet for her, so she chewed.

In light of that, we gave her away to someone from Austin that works at a dog friendly office. He will be able to bring her there so she can expend her mountains of energy every day.

It was hard to give her up, but it was the right thing to do. We were, perhaps, a little over zealous in picking her. Thinking back, if we had seen her in a shelter or something, we probably wouldn't have taken her. She was a little too big for what we want. For me (I can't speak for V), I felt like it would have been crazy to say no to taking her after driving almost 2 hours to get to Seguine. Still though, we did our due diligence in trying to give her what she needed. Since we couldn't, we had to give her to someone that would.

I remember when I was maybe 10-13 in that area, my parents brought a dog home from the North Shore Animal shelter. It was a pretty large dog named Bruno. When it stood up, it could rest it's front legs on my shoulders.

This dog was insane. It needed to live on a farm. When my dad would it out, it would just run laps around the house. It tore a Nerf football into a mountain of foam snow. It would get off the leash and have my mother chasing it around the neighborhood at 6am. It pulled the framing off of our front door. It took a crap right behind the closed front door... so when it opened.... ew.... my parents tried bolting it to the stairs. That didn't work either. It ripped the bolt right out.

You can see where this is going. We had to take the dog back b/c it was too much for them to handle. I didn't understand at the time because I was just a kid. I cried my head off b/c, duh, after like 2 days I was in love with the dog. I'm sure my parents wanted to muzzle me.

These memories all came back to me when we decided to put an add on Craigslist for her. Surprisingly though, I was only sad for a few hours and then got over it. Don't get me wrong, I did care about the animal, but I hadn't really bonded that much with her yet. I didn't really feel like she was "our dog" yet, so letting go wasn't terribly painful.

Later in the day, yesterday, we went to the Williamson country shelter to look and see what they had. We actually decided on a much smaller (roughly 1/2 the size and weight) white terrier mix named Atley. From what I can tell, he looks like a Brazilian terrier, but I am not sure. Victoria will most likely pick him up on Tuesday after he finishes up with their vet. Although a high energy breed, I think we can do the same that we did with Astoria, but he will still get tired. My walking speed was Astoria's slow walk speed. My walking speed  will be this dogs trotting speed. Big difference.

Finally, although I am happy to be getting this training (believe me, I have been asking for it for a LONG time), I am sad to be away this week. I am sad to be away from Victoria. I am sad to miss classes. I am really sad to miss the pancake theater party on Friday night as well as Sam's birthday on Saturday night. Oh well, though. I am sure that my grandmother didn't die with the intention of making me miss social events. I only hope that when I go, people will be willing to forgo something they had been looking forward to to come and see me one last time.

I think we are landing soon. It's a short flight.

Meh to Halloween

So, yeah... I don't like Halloween. It's only been recently that I couldn't care any less of the "holiday" i.e. way for people to make a ton of money (see "prices of Halloween costumes"), fell completely off the face of the map.

I don't like blood, gore, or generally disturbing things. I can't watch gore movies. Here's the odd part though, it's not the violence by itself that makes it unbearable for me. For example, I have no problem watching war movies with large scale violence. I saw the new Rambo movie. I didn't have to look away. People got blown up with land mines and got arrows through the head... no problem. Now, when you add in the sick and twisted "I'm gonna torture then dismember you slowly for no reason what-so-ever b/c I'm a fucknut and I can" and I can't watch it.

We tried to go to a haunted house last night with some friends. I was a bit reluctant to go, but Victoria wanted to and I wasn't going to let her do it alone. I haven't been to a haunted house in a while, but with a name like "Mansions of Terror" you gotta know there's gonna be some bad shit there. In short, haunted houses today are NOT the same haunted houses from when I was a kid. You know what I'm talking about. When I was a kid, a haunted house was like, some guys house that he put a bunch of scary crap all over, and MAYBE he jumped out at you ONCE. No so today. Today's haunted houses are more disturbing than anything.  It amazed me how people can take so much pride in the murder/rape scene that they "create" on their front lawns or in buildings like "and here we have Frankenstein, who, after not being able to land the woman of his dreams decided to commit seppuku, Dracula is holding the katana ready to cut his head off and here we have the wolf man jerking off all over the scene b/c he a necrophiliac and hes about to get some. Oh, in the tree there, we have a guy snorted like a ton of blow then hung himself after coming home to find his wife fucking the mailman. He killed them both with a blunt rusty spoon, and ate them, that's the "in the house portion", but anyway, look at the detail, you can really see the veins and neck bone protrusion. Awesome, huh?".

Uh... sorry... anyway... back to the haunted house... then...

Most of the people on the outside were dressed up in zombie like makeup. One had a chainsaw and would chase people around the parking lot. The other was like, a priest guy wearing long robes that would walk around next to you and throw up. Walking up to the front door, I could see what looked like a zombie bride essentially cutting herself or something. Retarded.

Needless to say, we never made it in the door. I was fine with this.

This leads me to my next point... movies...

Where is the psychological thrill in "either you give yourself a hysterectomy or you DIE! That's right, you cut out your own ovaries, or this cast iron spiked suit will collapse on you but only stab you slowly so you slowly bleed to death but you won't die right away, you will get tetanus and then you'll die slowly of tetanus, so the question is HYSTERECTOMY OR TETANUS DEATH!"?

This, to me, is degradation of society at its best. I find it disturbing enough that people can even think this shit up. That's fine... we are in a free country (hopefully for a little while longer) with freedom of speech and expression (hopefully for a little while longer). Still though, I cannot process in any way shape or form how people can see a trailer for a movie where it's clearly about torture and butchery and say to themselves "hey! that sounds like a great time!". Fuck that. Not me.

So I say, let me be totally gay and only want to see funny kids in costumes, eat candy, and maybe watch some movies on Halloween. Otherwise, I don't want to hear about it. I'm perfectly happy in my old man fuddy duddy house, thank you.

Some random thoughts...

Practiced 4th spear last night... I think I am getting it down. I can get through the whole thing and didn't have to think about it. Did iron palm again for the first time in months. Amazingly the arms were just fine. 35 rolls with little to no pain. The shins however, that's well, completely different. I was lucky to get 10. Suck.

Got a giant chunk, in fact finished the "a side" of broadsword two man set. I love it... so much fun.

Realized that I need to do a lot more  "working out" than I have been...

Watched the new South Park... I am so happy to see someone publicly stating just how incredibly bad the last Indiana Jones movie was. I mean literally scenes of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg holding down and raping the Indiana Jones character. Freakin hilarious.

This morning, while I was making breakfast, I had CNN on and was watching some stuff on the economy and then I had an interesting thought. Ever watch "House"? Well, the majority of episodes follow a similar format. House is a savant at diagnosing people.

At the beginning of every episode, someone comes in with some mystery disease. They think it's this, then they think it's that. They run some tests, maybe some against the persons will. Sometimes they use shady tactics to get the patient to do what they want. In the end, most of the time, a successful diagnosis is made and the patient is saved.

I told you that to tell you this. Imagine now, if you will, that our economy is the patient and the federal government and the federal reserve are "House". The only difference, though, is that in our case, the economy doesn't have House for a doctor. They have a failing first year medial student that doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. It seems at this point, the patient should have died about 3 seasons ago, but, well, this med school fuck up apparently knows enough to keep said patient in a persistent vegetative state. Time to pull the plug, in my opinion.

Seriously, I am not saying I can do any better. I am not trained in the ways of national and global economies, however, it is my understanding that THESE PEOPLE ARE?!?!?!? The words "spend less than you have available" seem to be logical.

On a final note, while I was tagging this blog, I saw some tags I haven't used in a while, particularly "optimistic" and "proud". There are things in my life that I am very optimistic and very proud of, however, many of my recent posts have been government/politics related.  So, with regard to the United States and the direction that it's going. I am neither optimistic nor proud. Sad... I know...

So sad in fact that I have been thinking more and more about the people I would like to band with when the shit really hits the fan. Yeah, I know, I'm crazy, but whatever. Can anyone say kung fu commune in the middle of nowhere?

Ok, I'm done now. Bye.

An open letter to the Texas sun...

Dear Texas Sun,

This is not going to be easy for you to hear, but, I think it's important that you do. We should all be looking to better ourselves and I think this could really help you.

Ready?

Ok...

It's too much. It's just TOO much. You are too much. Can you tone it down a bit please? You are WAY too overbearing.

The New York sun isn't nearly as oppressive as you. What is your deal? Were you beaten as a budding proto-star by your red giant parents and now need to take out your frustration on us tiny people? If that is the case, I suggest you start seeing a shrink because that's just messed up.

Among the aforementioned, my additional complaints are as follows:

1. I don't even want to go outside, like, ever. I don't want to sit outside, walk around outside, or just be outside. Never in my life have I felt bad for grass and trees, but, I do now feel really bad for them as they have to whether your constant overbearing photon bombardment.
2. You make me so grumpy and frustrated. Every time I am required to perform an action in your presence, I become a person I don't like. I become short, frustrated, and just general complainy like. You make me do it. You suck.
3. You cost me money. I keep my thermostat on 78 in the summer, even then, my damn electric bill is close to $150. I have to water my lawn and trees more b/c of you and that is JUST TO KEEP THEM FROM DYING. My grass feels like (to steal from Wendy's blog) shredded wheat or some other kind of shitty cereal. Why the hell can't you just calm down a bit??!?! Jerk.
4. You make me tired. I can't do shit outside without feeling like I need to take like a 100 hour nap when I get done doing that 3 hour thing. Do you even know what that is like? I am 27 for fuck sake. You make me feel like I'm 90.
5. You finally get tired and start backing off in like November. NOVEMBER. Don't you know you should start toning it down in like, September? What is there some kind of galactic trophy for "Most People Burned and Irritated Annually"? You suck.

Well, Texas Sun, I hope that the above information has been informative. I am pretty sure you are a self centered asshole and won't take any of this to heart. I still think that it is important for you to know these things. I ask, no... plead... no BEG that you consider the above grievances and take steps to resolve them.

Thank you,

Bryan

Feeling accomplished...

Finally, I was able to wake my happy ass up at 640am and get to class on a Wednesday morning. Let's try to go 2 for 2 and do it Friday as well.

This morning's class was very good. I finished five directional palm which puts my mind at ease a little bit. Testing is coming up rather quickly and we all still have one form left to learn. I have been a little worried as of late that I don't have all of my material yet, but then again, August 20th is still 2 months away. One month to learn one form and one month to practice them all is a very good amount of time.

I think, at this point, I need to focus a lot more on my physical conditioning and endurance rather than the forms themselves. They will come through repetition. I will be ready, don't you worry.

I am really looking forward to going to the Bleach movie tonight. I, again, have already seen it, but it will be really nice to see it on the big screen.

<Rant>

So, after class I was on my way home and listening to ABC talk radio as I normally do during the day. When the news at the top of the hour came on, I heard the following (which, I can't directly quote, so I will paraphrase):

The Hulk movie coming out on Friday could potentially influence kids to smoke. One of the characters, the army general ALWAYS has a cigar in his mouth. Whether it is lit or not, it is always in his mouth. This could influence kids that smoking is cool. Because of THIS, this movie should be rated R.

Just did a search and found a link to the actual story:

http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/080611/aqw030.html?.v=61

Alright... here we go. Bullet list time.

• Personal/parental responsibility - Parents, do your fucking job, and parent. They are many many people with kids, and very, very few parents. If you see smoking in a movie, how about having a heart to heart with your kid about how smoking is bad. Tell them how grandma died from smoking. Whatever you tell them, MAKE SURE YOU TELL THEM. Stop putting the onus on raising your children on schools, TV, media, and the Internet. If you don't want to be a parent DON"T FUCKING HAVE CHILDREN!
• Smoking?!?! Ok, so, the Incredible Hulk isn't about a young boy that takes a walk though a flower field and dreams happy thoughts. It's about a very tortured individual that has been genetically mutated by gamma radiation. He is not a happy person. He is not a stable person. He is a very violent person. If SMOKING is the worst thing that your retarded kid learns from this movie, good for you!
• DON'T BRING YOUR STUPID ASS KIDS TO MOVIES THAT COULD POTENTIALLY TEACH THEM BAD THINGS. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?! IF YOUR KID DOES LEARN SOMETHING BAD FROM A MOVIE, IT IS YOUR FAULT, NOT THE MOVIE'S FAULT. TALK TO YOUR KIDS SO THEY DON'T GROW UP TO BE RETARDS LIKE YOU!

</Rant>

Ahhhh, I feel better now.

Worst. Service. Ever.

Firstly, let me start by saying that yesterday's fast went really well. I would venture to say that it was the best one since we started this whole "eat stop eat" thing. I went to my class and taught my own, no problems. After 24 hours, my mind was clear, I wasn't terribly hungry, but, I was ready for some sustenance.

We went to Kerbey Lane, as we always do on Monday nights. We both have class until after 9pm, so it's usually the easiest thing to do. The only difference this night was that some friends from KF came along for the ride.

I'm going to progress this story in timeline format so you can see how ludicrous this is.

9:45pm - We arrive at Kerbey Lane. Request table.

10:00pm - Friends show up, we sit down at table.

10:05pm - We are all sitting around at the table waiting for someone to come over.

10:10pm or so - We order drinks, Ben orders queso.

10:15pm - nothing...

10:20pm - nothing...

10:22pm - Waters come... um... yaaay? Queso comes slightly after. We still have not ordered. At this point I have complained to a manager.

10:28pm - Our waiter prances past our table. We are still all drinking water. We have no yet ordered food. He doesn't say anything to us like "sorry it's taking a while". Nothing. Just a smug "I'm high as shit and I don't care" look at all of us.

10:30pm - V and I get up and leave. On the way out, I talk to the manager and say "I want you to know that we are leaving now and it is because this waiter let us sit at our table for almost a half an hour without ordering. If I DO come back here, I never want to sit in his section again". The manager's response is "OK I take care of him now". Whatever, we are going elsewhere.

You might think that I was in a "lipid fueled rage" (I owe Ryon $0.25 now) as I was coming off of a 24 hour fast, but, let me say that my mind was very clear and I was not feeling irritable. What follows most likely would have happened had I not been on a fast as well. The others at the table were equally as frustrated.

Here are some other random tidbits. He had 4-6 tables, all of which were not filled. The ones that were had 2 people at them. You are not "really busy", you are fucking retarded and need to not smoke weed before you come to work. I don't care what you do at your house. Kill yourself for all I care, but, when your stupid juvenile habit affects my night, we have a problem.

I notice these things. I worked in the service industry for about 8 years or so. I am very tolerant of people in the service industry b/c I know how much it sucks and the BS that you have to put up with on the daily.

For example, we went to Cheddar's for lunch last week. Our waiter dropped all of our food when he brought it out to our table resulting in a big crash. He apologize profusely. He was really trying. It was clearly his first or second day. I left him a larger than normal tip. I felt his pain.

This fucking hippie last night at Kerbey was the complete opposite. Every one of his tables was upset with him and he could not care less. He looked like he was high off his ass. He was slow as shit and couldn't keep up with the smallest workload. He should be fired. Had this been a one off incident, I would be more tolerant, however, this is not the first time we have had him as our waiter. Let's just say he is really consistent. There is no reason that dinner at a restaurant, a NOT EVEN BUSY restaurant should take almost 2 hours.

I have never stiffed a waiter. I have never walked out of a place, until last night. Had I stayed there for dinner, I would not have left him a tip. Yes, he was THAT bad. Victoria ordered a hot tea at 10:06pm and we didn't see it until he was on the way to the table with it as we were walking out at 10:30pm. Unacceptable. Go fuck yourself.

With regard to the manager's response of "OK, I take care of him". How's about taking care of the problem the first time I complain and not the second, third, fourth, or when I am walking out. Get back on the pickup truck with you "Kool" hat and "Garfield" shirt. You have no business managing a restaurant.

Starving, I made, probably not the best choice, and stopped at whataburger on the way home. I am almost ashamed to say it. It was, however, delicious as I had not had a burger from a fast food joint in almost 2 months. No biggie, I will compensate today.

Anyway, that's the end of the rant. Here's what's on the agenda today:

1. Have uverse installed.
2. Play with uverse.
3. Make cream of sorrel soup.
4. Work.
5. Make Wendy take pictures of her daybed.  =)

 

A very good Daily OM

June 2, 2008
Aligning Actions And Words
Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Words carry a lot of weight in this world, from how we say them to what we say with them, but it is through our actions that we bring things into being. This is what we mean when we say to one another that actions speak louder than words. In many cases, what we say doesn’t necessarily line up with what we are doing, and it is here that it becomes clear that it’s easier to talk about doing something than it is to actually do something. At the same time, it’s easy to keep doing something that we don’t necessarily acknowledge ourselves doing verbally. It’s good for all of us to take a look every once and a while to make sure there is alignment between what we say and what we do.

For example, it’s easy to talk about our dreams, but it takes a lot more energy to take the many small steps that lead to bringing our dreams into reality. If all we ever do is talk about it, we begin to lose faith in ourselves because nothing changes on the external level. In this way, being all talk and no action is actually a form of self-sabotage. It’s also useful to examine our actions to see if, through them, we are following through on our words. For example, in expressing concern about the environment, we can look to make sure that we are taking the simple steps we can take to put that concern into action.

It’s always helpful to observe what we talk about and who we say we are, and then to observe what we actually do in the world. Sometimes we realize our actions haven’t caught up with what we are saying, and at other times we see that we might change our words in a way that it will more adequately reflect what we do in the world. Either way, the more we align our words and our deeds, the clearer we are in expressing our truth in the world, and the more powerful we are in bringing it into reality.

I don't think I need to comment on this one. How many people do YOU know that talk the talk, but don't walk the walk? I have met a few like this in my time thus far on the great planet. Eventually, their words mean nothing to you because their actions are virtually never there to back it up or they are constantly speaking in future possibilities i.e. "I really need to do this", "I really need to <x>".

Moral of the story: make your actions match your words, or don't bother saying them.

Me Me MentaliTy...

I thought I would go in reverse order with this one. Read the article first, then see comments below:

May 12, 2008
In The World And In Ourselves
Feeling Fed Up With Humanity

From time to time, we may all feel fed up with humanity, whether it's from learning about what's going on around the world, or what’s going on next door. There are always situations that leave us feeling as if people are simply not capable of behaving in a way that is coming from a place of awareness. Often it seems as if people are actually geared to handle things in the worst possible way, repeatedly. At the same time, none of us wants to linger in a judgmental mood about our own species. As a result, we might tend to repress the feelings coming up as we take in the news from the world and the neighborhood.

It is natural to feel let down and disappointed when we see our fellow humans behaving in ways that are greedy, selfish, violent, or uncaring, but there are also ways to process that disappointment without sinking into despondency. As with any emotional response, we honor our feelings by feeling them fully, without judging or acting on them. Once we've done that—and we may need to do it every day, as part of our daily self-care—we can begin to consider ways that we might help the situation in which humanity finds itself.

As always, we start with ourselves, utilizing our awareness of the failings of others to renew our own commitment to be more conscious human beings. We are all capable of the best and the worst that humanity has to offer, and remembering this keeps us in check, as well as allowing us to find compassion for others. We may find ourselves feeling compelled to serve people who are suffering injustices at the hands of other people, or we may begin to speak out when we see something that we don’t think is right. Whatever the case, the only thing we can do is pledge to serve the best, rather than the worst, of what humanity has to offer, both in the world, and in ourselves.

If you have read my postings in the past, you already know how I feel about this topic. I am, almost on a daily basis, disappointed, let down, disgusted with how people treat each other. Whether its across the globe or in my neighborhood, I am saddened to see the lengths that people will go to to hurt someone else.

I think a really big part of all of this is the "me" aspect of today's society. It seems that more and more people don't care about anyone other than themselves. As long as they are getting what they want, all is good in the world. This mentality makes me sick. There is a difference between looking out for yourself to take care of yourself versus stepping on whoever you need to get what YOU want.

Anyway...

I take this posting very much to heart as I always... ALWAYS try to consider what other people are feeling throughout daily life. "Will this action hurt someone?" ... "Will this action make someone happy?".... "Will this action make me happy without hurting someone else?"... these are all questions that I ask myself on a daily basis. Perhaps if people as a whole briefly considered these questions, even if it's only for a tiny amount of time during the day, the world would be a much better place.

... but then again... that probably won't happen. Yeah... we are still screwed.

Oh please...

So I was driving this morning and I heard a commercial on the radio:

"High school is hard. Graduating is <pause> harder."

... I don't remember the rest. I stopped listening after that one sentence. Technically, I didn't stop listening. Technically, I couldn't hear the commercial anymore as the words "are you serious?? are you fucking serious?!?!?!" were playing over and over in my head.

High school is... HARD?!?!??! I can think of many things that high school was... "hard" is not one of the words that comes to mind. Basic high school, save AP classes and anything outside of the basic curriculum is not by any means, hard.

Hey fella, I went to high school. I don't recall it being all that bad. I am about to give you some gems o' wisdom. Get ready to have you minds blow with my 3 STEP PLAN TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL:

1) Go.

2) Pay attention, somewhat.

3) Graduate.

... there you go. If you go to high school, and sit in the building for 8 hours/day (you DONT even have to go everyday, but shhh) and just kinda watch what the teacher is doing, you have a pretty good fucking chance of passing this particular class.

"What about homework? I don't want to do homework!"... well kid, I don't want to pay taxes, but you know what? I don't want to go to jail. Do you want to go to jail? Then go to fucking school, do you homework and stop whining.

Tell your friends / homies / bloods / crips / gang of any denomination / amigos / crew / posse / girlfriend / boyfriend / <whoever you hang out with> that you will see them in just a little while b/c you have some learnin' to do. They will call you names, but, when you are making a lot more money than them, you can call them whatever you want from your really nice house. You can even do a drive by insulting as I'm SURE your car, that you can afford b/c you sat in a building for 8 hours a day for 4 years and sorta stared towards the front of the room, can outrun theirs.

I don't know if I am getting older or if kids are getting worse. Maybe it's a little bit of both. I find that, these days, the majority kids do not know what it means to struggle for anything, or to achieve anything unless it's getting to level 65 in some video game. Hey, just so you know, that video game experience, doesn't ACTUALLY transfer to REAL LIFE experience, retard.

Kid: "Mom, this homework is too hard".

Mom: "Wow, I'm going to go have a word with your teacher tomorrow to get this homework difficulty reduced. How's that son? Oh, and don't forget your ritalin!"

How's about this... why don't you sit down with your little pile of shame and try to help them? Oh, you can't remember how to do this stuff? Well guess what, neither does the majority of America, but you know what? School has blessed you with the skill of reading. Put down the beer/crack/heroine/weed/acid/schrooms/X and help this poor thing that you have brought into the world. Make him/her a better person than you were. THEY NEED YOUR HELP.

Still, I am pretty sure that we are fucked....

Dear former job...

We need to talk.

Look, it's not you, it's me. Well... maybe it's somewhat you too.

Things started off really well. You were really popular. Everyone told me that you were the way to go. I believed them. I RELOCATED for you. Do you know how big that is?? I uprooted my ENTIRE life, lost my girlfriend... all for you.

We had some really good times. You let me be myself for a little while and you let me thrive and get a lot of stuff done. I learned a lot of stuff that was really helpful to me within the context of my work with you. I really appreciate that.

You told me you cared about my career. You told me that I was in control. I believed you.

Things started going downhill.

We were together, I would say, oh, about 2 years at the time. I was getting antsy and feeling ready for a change. I let you know about this and you told me that I would have to wait. What? I thought I was in control of my career. Hmmm.. ok, I'll let that one slide. Former job 1, me 0.

You let me talk to others within about the possibility of working with them. I soon found out that you lied. You LIED to me, former job. I started to see that all of the skills that you had taught me were absolutely WORTHLESS outside your warm and fuzzy context. Nobody cared about what I had learned during my time with you. They would look at my resume and say "great, what else do you know?".

So, I did what I could do, oh, former job. I moved departments within you thinking that things would get a lot better. I could use all of this useless information you had made me acquire over the past 2.5 years and perhaps thrive and grow some more. Things were actually great for the first few weeks. How happy I was to not deal with those retards on the phone all day. "Hi, how do I add numbers with code?"... please go die now. This happiness, however, was short lived.

Again, former job, you were right, and I was wrong. Former job 2, me, 0.

I was optimistic. The management structure seemed awesome. The job seemed like it was engaging and fun. Damnit... again, I was wrong. You 3, me, 0.

You gave me no training whatsoever on this new task. You basically said, "hey, you pretty much know what you're doing, right? whatever, go for it, I got shit to do...oh, and read this 600 page architectural document from 12 years ago..."

Um... ok, former job, that isn't cool. I thought we were friends?

As a result of your "non interventionalist" approach to my working for you, I left work almost everyday feeling like a frustrated, moronic, retarded, stoopid. I wanted to put my fist through something every fucking day that I left you. On top of this feeling of frustration and useless that I got all day, everyday, I also had people complaining and bothering me to work on the things that hey had submitted. Sure, I didn't have enough grief, just pile that on too. I can take it. I'm like a dump truck for annoyances and complaints.

Things started out so great. What has happened?!?!? What has become of us? How did it get to this point, former job?

Well, former job, I will tell you. You are VERY good and giving people the illusion that you care. You are VERY good at making people think that you actually care about their careers and their personal development. I see now, in hindsight, that this is all straight bullshit. That's right former job, you can't fool me anymore. My shroud o' ignornace has been lifted.

When you don't:

1. let people do what makes them happy...
2. let people move to a new position when they feel it is time (given a reasonable stint in current position)...
3. let people know that what they do is important...
4. let people know that their efforts in working 60 hours a week at times don't go unnoticed...
5. allow people to learn relevant a pertinent skills to the marketplace...
6. train people on the stuff that is critical to their job yet expect them to continue to produce...

... PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO WANT TO "HANG IN THERE" AND STAY THE COURSE WITH YOU.

You can have the nicest managers, the best benefits, and even unlimited sick days. I LOVED the managers that you gave me, former job. I LOVED the flexibility that you provided me. I LOVED the unlimited sick days that you gave me. In spite of all this...

...I am leaving you.

You will not miss me, I know, and, the feeling is mutual. Just know, that it's for the best, for both of us.

And by the way your score, no longer matters. Bite me, former job. Me, 9,000,000,000, you nothing.

See you around.

 

Go to hell, Hillary Clinton

Taken from Health & Nutrition by Michael R. Eades, M.D.:

Another example of the difficulty in resolving cognitive dissonance from today’s Wall Street Journal:

What, really, is Mrs. Clinton doing? She is having the worst case of cognitive dissonance in the history of modern politics. She cannot come up with a credible, realistic path to the nomination. She can’t trace the line from “this moment’s difficulties” to “my triumphant end.” But she cannot admit to herself that she can lose. Because Clintons don’t lose. She can’t figure out how to win, and she can’t accept the idea of not winning. She cannot accept that this nobody from nowhere could have beaten her, quietly and silently, every day. (She cannot accept that she still doesn’t know how he did it!)

She is concussed. But she is a scrapper, a fighter, and she’s doing what she knows how to do: scrap and fight. Only harder. So that she ups the ante every day. She helped Ireland achieve peace. She tried to stop Nafta. She’s been a leader for 35 years. She landed in Bosnia under siege and bravely dodged bullets. It was as if she’d watched the movie “Wag the Dog,” with its fake footage of a terrified refugee woman running frantically from mortar fire, and found it not a cautionary tale about manipulation and politics, but an inspiration.

Most of you who know me know that I am mostly apathetic when it comes to politics. I believe that the outcome has already been decided and that we sheople have nothing to do with who is actually "elected" to be the next president of this fine, fine country. However... please, please, for the love of god, do not let this righteous cunt become president.

"But she has a federal healthcare program that will cover all American's"... right.. and you will wait forever for baseline care, at best. Oh... while paying out your ass in taxes. The fucking money for federal programs has to come from SOMEWHERE, people. Oh, and when they raise taxes, they don't ask you how much you would like to contribute.

We are fucked... and not in the good way. This country is being destroyed from the inside out and it's not going to get any better unless, the retards of America wake up and see what is under their noses...

Go here....

I hate you SI. I hate you so much...

Ok... so, my neighbor Vinny, his girlfriend Amanda, and myself tied one on like no one's business last night. Well... I did... I'm not too sure about them = ).

So, Amanda's friend drove us to the ferry terminal. How nice! We will have a ride back, right? NO. Not right.

Let's back up for a second. Vinny and Amanda have a flight to make at 7am. Yes, that's right, 7am. They wanted to leave the bar around 1am. Reasonable. Sleep on the plane sorta thing. The driving friend knows this.

Around, oh, 2am, this girl decides she doesn't want to leave. Nice. How considerate. Personally, I don't care. I don't have to be up at any particular time today. I don't care. I DO however, think that is messed up and that you shouldn't do that to your friends. I wouldn't ever do that to someone.

Vinny, Amanda, Anthony, and I go to get a slice at the pi33aria on the corner (yes, it was leet... that was actually on the awning... the bar was on 33rd and 3rd). Anthony offered to drive us to the ferry. Very nice guy. If not for him, we would have missed the 230am ferry and would have had to sit there until 330am.

Yes, it's the tiny boat. The venerable "John A. Noble". I don't know who John A. Noble was, nor do I really care. He must have been some kind of horrible person b/c they named this shitty little tugboat ferry after him. I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang and a rocking ferry boat, I am not so sure.

We get off the ferry and walk to the "taxi" ramp. They are not taxi's at all. The are guys who drive normal cars and call themselves "car service". Whatever.. just take my home. We get into the minivan cab and there is already a guy waiting there. We are the 2nd fare. Fantastic.

Mr. 2nd fare has no idea where he is going. He is on the phone with his stupid inner city friend who also does not know how to guide him to where he needs to go. I am ready to kill someone.

I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang, a rocking ferry boat, and a jerky minivan in the rain, I am definitely not so sure... at all. I ask the driver to pull over. I need to give some back. Picture Jackie Chan in "The Legend of Drunken Master". I want to continue fighting, but, my levels aren't right. I feel better, but not by much.

Finally, Mr. 2nd fare figures out where he is going and gets dropped the hell off. The driver proceeds to our area. We guide him using the most direct route. It's like 345am. I want to die.

He misses this turn and pulls a U. He missed that turn and pulls a U. Is this some sort of cosmic joke? Are you for real guy? Lemme see your license! So he gets to our block. I say to him "3/4 of the way down, on the left". He proceeds to jerk stop at every house as if to say "this one? this one? this one? this one? this one?" thus straining even further my estomachal fortitude. He finally jerk stops close enough to my house.

I roll in like a tornado and go to sleep. I hope Vinny and Amanda had a decent flight.

And... to the girl that "didn't want to leave" b/c she was "having too much fun". Fuck you, bitch. I hope I never see you again. You are messed up and mostly what is wrong with people today. I wish you all the trouble and frustration that you caused us.

Thesis Rant - Topic: Materialism

The following rant is aimed at no one in particular. This seems to be something that is becoming out of control in out culture/society and I wanted to write about it. Put your seatbelt on, I read this already and it's rough.

I hate materialism. If you are a materialistic person, I hate you too. Please don't ever talk to me. Additionally, please take this time to purge your genes from the human genome. It will be better for everyone in the big picture. If you are unsure about why you should be purging yourself, please read on, then, please, purge yourself. If you STILL don't get it, consider THAT the reason, and purge yourself anyway.

<Rant>

There aren't too many things or people in this world that I can say that I "hate". Materialism and materialistic people are, however in this category.

Look at the world around you. It seems to be getting worse every day. Watch the news, watch E!, go to a mall, what do you see? People obsessed with "things"..."stuff"... perhaps pretty on the outside, but shallow as the grand fucking canyon.

Oh!, look at what he/she one got me! I have to tell everyone and everyone should know b/c I'm so self absorbed yet so incredibly dead inside that I need validation from everyone around me just to feel a shred of real happiness in my horribly shallow, shitty life. . Who, by the way, all feed into the illusion that "you're hot", or sexually marketable in some strange, "wouldn't fuck that with a football field sized pole, and noise canceling headphones, my spinal cord severed, OH!, and a blindfold" sorta way. I hate you. Die. Please, for Christmas, for me, die. All of you.

What can this do for me? What can that do for me? What is he/she going to buy me? Where is he/she going to take me? Where in the hell has any sort of feeling for self responsibility, self respect, or self love gone? Well, they seem to be gone. It's all about "me" these days.

From what I can tell, a large part of the population seems to only give a flying fuck about themselves. Themselves and no one else. Me... me... me memem emememememememememememememe!!!!!!OIfhseavfhu uadfhajkjfklhgLU!@^#%^@%#^%@#%&@#&%(@*#)(*@)&#*^*&@^#&*@$#%!$ #@ *%*&#

Sorry, I got a little mad. No, wait.. I am not sorry.

I feel like everyday, our society and the people therein go down the spiral just a bit more. My generation of people ... a generation of fucking self absorbed, medicated (in some way.. pot, alcohol, meds cuz I have the fictional "disease" known as ADD, you name it), don't give a fuck 'bout nothing but "me" fucking fuck ups. This is our future... my, my how brightly it shines.

What happened to people that have substance? What happened to people that could talk about things other than what they want from here and what they want from there? What about what you want out of life??? Are clothes, cars, tvs, diamonds, and shoes all you want?? Is there nothing more???

What happened to people that worked for things? What happened to people that have self control? Sure, there are people out there, but they, we, are in the minority these days, it seems.

I don't even know where to go from here.

We have shows on TV that show the pettiness and shallowness of people. We have TV shows that highlight people being irresponsible, intoxicated, rude, obnoxious, horrible, wretched people with absolutely zero redeeming qualities. AND THIS IS IDOLIZED AND EMULATED!!!! Can someone please kill ME now? I have seen enough. We are done.

</Rant>

Get over yourselves...

I had the day off from work today so I met Steph for lunch. We went to TGIFriday's. It was good. I did however notice this guy at another table next to us that was wearing his bluetooth earpiece while not on a call.

I thought to myself "how pretentious". This guy must think he's muy importante. I have news for you sir. You didn't get a singal call while you were eating lunch with your family. You are not that important. Take the f**king thing off. I hate them...

F You Michael Vic

Are you serious, dude? Do you think that anyone thinks that this is a sincere apology? Please, don't insult my intelligence. I know you've got the public image machine behind you coaching you on everything you say to try and preserve the empire which you have so undeservingly accumulated (refer to Bill Cosby posting).

Let's take a look at some highlights of this "apology":

"I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts and, you know, what I did was, what I did was very immature so that means I need to grow up."

No shit, homey. Way to learn something that normal people learn when they are 12. Stupid.

"I totally ask for forgiveness and understanding as I move forward to bettering Michael Vick the person, not the football player."

Totally. Please move forward. We all want you to move forward. Fucking retard.

"I'm upset with myself, and, you know, through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God. And I think that's the right thing to do as of right now."

IMHO, the worst part of all of this. Don't bring your new found spirituality into this. It's like someone becoming spiritual on their deathbed. Where was god or god's voice when you were doing these things? Where was God when you were blessed with an a$$load of money and a privileged lifestyle that most of us dream of our entire lives? Not there, huh? Just when you get caught? Fuck off.

Again, stop insulting our intelligence. You haven't found anything other than you got caught and now you are fucked and need to spin this in the best was possible for you. Go to hell.

"I got a lot to think about in the next year or so."

A lifetime's worth.

"So I got a lot of down time, a lot of time to think about my actions and what I've done and how to make Michael Vick a better person."

A perfect ending to a perfect engineered apology. Blow me, oh, and everyone else when you are in jail while you are at it.

Still thinking this now? Eat it, bitch.

You go Bill Cosby...

Preface: The following was said by Bill Cosby, not me. I do, however agree and support what he is saying 100%. Think about it.

They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.  I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English
except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor
with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a
decent living. People marched and were hit in the
face with rocks to get an education, and now
we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up
their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting.  They are buying
things for kids. $500 sneakers for what ? ?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was  2  ?  
Where were you when he was 12 ? 
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol ? ?
And where is the father ?  Or who is his father ?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something ? 
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up ?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from?
We are not Africans.  Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail. 
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back. 

People used to be ashamed.  Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.   

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.  We, as black folks, have to do a better job.  Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. 

We cannot blame the white people any longer.

-- Dr. William Henry "Bill" Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

I love this...

Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back. This is absolutely awesome and what all Americans should be thinking about as we go through this crazy time in our history:

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa ; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe . I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!!

Flying Spaghetti Monster

Alright, alright, so I was looking for a clip from this past week's south park that dealt with religion and teaching either Intelligent Design or the theory of evolution in schools to children. It was hilarious and definitely had some social merit.

Personally, I do not think that religion has any place in schools ( or in government for that matter either ). I think that VALUES and MORALS from religion are good to teach, but not under a religion pretense i.e. don't be a good person because Jesus said or because you will be rewarded in the after life, be a good person because it is the right thing to do.

Anyway, in the South Park episode, an Atheist is talking to Ms. Garrison and says that she would be great if she wasn't into this whole "God thing". She says that she believes in God because his existence cannot be disproved. The Atheist then says to her "what if I told you that there was a Flying Spaghetti Monster? Would you believe that just because it cannot be disproved?". She then becomes an Atheist.

I thought this was absolutly hilarious. As we were talking about it at work yesterday, a friend of mine mentioned that the FSM was from a website... and in fact it is!! Check out http://www.venganza.org. In particular, read this guy's letter to the Kansas City School Board.
After that, check out this article on Wired.com -> http://wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/atheism.html.

I personally am not an Atheist. I think that there are many things that do in fact exist that cannot be proven or explained. I however, am not religious, nor do I understand why people believe what they do believe. Then again, just because it is not right for me does not mean that it isn't right for someone else. The problem that I have is when others try to force their beliefs on others when they clearly want nothing to do with it. This has happened throughout history and continues to happen today ( see: almost any war ).

Why can't we all just believe what we believe and let others do the same?