The Log Of B

Blog Is Moving!

2009-01-21T08:18:00.001-06:00

For all of you that have my blog RSSed or even who simply just read it every so often, please change both you link and your RSS feed to:

http://blog.elear.net

As I have just moved it over to my personal web hosting, it is still somewhat of a work in progress, so updates will be coming along soon. Thanks for reading!

Aviation Misery

2009-01-19T11:26:00.000-06:00

I used to like flying. I really did. As time goes on, I find that I hate it more and more. It's not so much the actual flight itself. I am fine once I am in the air. In fact, flying is an excellent way to practice release of control. You get in that seat, and well, whatever is going to happen will happen. You have no control.

Anyway. Like I said, the actual flying isn't bad. It's all the bullshit that you have to go through to get on/off/in/out of planes. Security, I am ok with. I don't need to have any security problems on planes. Neither does anyone else.

As I think though my intense hatred of the act of flying, I am starting to narrow down the two things that really make me miserable.

Connecting flights - I hate. Hate hate hate connecting flights. They add a level of stress to flying that is really just not needed. Currently, I am on flight 2 of 3 today. I am hoping to make my connection, but due to weather and volume, but who knows. Then, if you DO miss the connecting flight, you have deal with the stress of trying to figure out what to do. God know the airline employees could care less.
People - Now, as I get older, I notice that I have a growing dislike for the public masses at large. This dislike is accentuated and elevated when in an airport or on a plane. People wander around aimlessly constantly in my way. People take forever to put their shit up in an overhead storage compartment. People take forever to get their shit DOWN from an overhead storage compartment. What the fuck is so hard?!?! Do you now know that you have like over 100 people staring at your slow ass just chomping at the bit to get off the plane to see a loved on or make a transfer.

In case you are now wondering "where is Bryan going?", I will tell you. I am on my way to Newburgh, NY for some work training. I was supposed to go back on Friday, but unfortunately, my grandmother (on my dad's side) passed away adn there is a memorial service for her on Sunday. So, in addition to the week, I am also staying the weekend. I will be back in Austin a week from today.

This training is for the Microsoft IAG product which will be extremely helpful for me in my professional life.

In other news, you may have seen pictures or heard us talk about Astoria. She was a black border collie/lab mix that we had for a few weeks. Unfortunately, it did not work out with her. She had just way too much energy and we were not able to provide enough of an outlet for her. She chewed up a bunch of stuff in the closet including 3 pairs of my shoes and my sparring gear (see ya in class without it, no gear, no contact, tee hee). I can only assume that she did this because she was left alone for so long with nothing to do. I can't really blame the dog or anything for this other than we didn't provide enough of an outlet for her, so she chewed.

In light of that, we gave her away to someone from Austin that works at a dog friendly office. He will be able to bring her there so she can expend her mountains of energy every day.

It was hard to give her up, but it was the right thing to do. We were, perhaps, a little over zealous in picking her. Thinking back, if we had seen her in a shelter or something, we probably wouldn't have taken her. She was a little too big for what we want. For me (I can't speak for V), I felt like it would have been crazy to say no to taking her after driving almost 2 hours to get to Seguine. Still though, we did our due diligence in trying to give her what she needed. Since we couldn't, we had to give her to someone that would.

I remember when I was maybe 10-13 in that area, my parents brought a dog home from the North Shore Animal shelter. It was a pretty large dog named Bruno. When it stood up, it could rest it's front legs on my shoulders.

This dog was insane. It needed to live on a farm. When my dad would it out, it would just run laps around the house. It tore a Nerf football into a mountain of foam snow. It would get off the leash and have my mother chasing it around the neighborhood at 6am. It pulled the framing off of our front door. It took a crap right behind the closed front door... so when it opened.... ew.... my parents tried bolting it to the stairs. That didn't work either. It ripped the bolt right out.

You can see where this is going. We had to take the dog back b/c it was too much for them to handle. I didn't understand at the time because I was just a kid. I cried my head off b/c, duh, after like 2 days I was in love with the dog. I'm sure my parents wanted to muzzle me.

These memories all came back to me when we decided to put an add on Craigslist for her. Surprisingly though, I was only sad for a few hours and then got over it. Don't get me wrong, I did care about the animal, but I hadn't really bonded that much with her yet. I didn't really feel like she was "our dog" yet, so letting go wasn't terribly painful.

Later in the day, yesterday, we went to the Williamson country shelter to look and see what they had. We actually decided on a much smaller (roughly 1/2 the size and weight) white terrier mix named Atley. From what I can tell, he looks like a Brazilian terrier, but I am not sure. Victoria will most likely pick him up on Tuesday after he finishes up with their vet. Although a high energy breed, I think we can do the same that we did with Astoria, but he will still get tired. My walking speed was Astoria's slow walk speed. My walking speed will be this dogs trotting speed. Big difference.

Finally, although I am happy to be getting this training (believe me, I have been asking for it for a LONG time), I am sad to be away this week. I am sad to be away from Victoria. I am sad to miss classes. I am really sad to miss the pancake theater party on Friday night as well as Sam's birthday on Saturday night. Oh well, though. I am sure that my grandmother didn't die with the intention of making me miss social events. I only hope that when I go, people will be willing to forgo something they had been looking forward to to come and see me one last time.

I think we are landing soon. It's a short flight.

Huh?

2009-01-16T16:23:00.001-06:00

So, I'm experimenting with WordPress. I installed it on my domain and have been messing with it. One feature is an import from blogger. When I try to do it, I get this error:

Huh?

Schrodinger's Cat

2008-12-06T11:44:00.001-06:00

I was watching some Science channel this morning. Particularly, I was watching a show about atoms and quantum theories. It was mostly a historical account of how physics has gotten to where it is today.

One of the cool things they talked about was the "Schrodinger's Cat Thought Experiment". I had read about this a few years ago in some cosmology book, maybe one by Brian Greene.

Anyway, it's a really cool thought experiment, so I thought I would share. Due to my laziness, I found a summary of it on some website:

Schrodinger's cat

Schrödinger's cat is a famous illustration of the principle in quantum theory ofsuperposition , proposed by Erwin Schrödinger in 1935. Schrödinger's cat serves to demonstrate the apparent conflict between what quantum theory tells us is true about the nature and behavior of matter on the microscopic level and what we observe to be true about the nature and behavior of matter on the macroscopic level.

Here's Schrödinger's (theoretical) experiment: We place a living cat into a steel chamber, along with a device containing a vial of hydrocyanic acid. There is, in the chamber, a very small amount of a radioactive substance. If even a single atom of the substance decays during the test period, a relay mechanism will trip a hammer, which will, in turn, break the vial and kill the cat. The observer cannot know whether or not an atom of the substance has decayed, and consequently, cannot know whether the vial has been broken, the hydrocyanic acid released, and the cat killed. Since we cannot know, the cat is both dead and alive according to quantum law, in a superposition of states. It is only when we break open the box and learn the condition of the cat that the superposition is lost, and the cat becomes one or the other (dead or alive). This situation is sometimes called quantum indeterminacy or the observer's paradox : the observation or measurement itself affects an outcome, so that the outcome as such does not exist unless the measurement is made. (That is, there is no single outcome unless it is observed.)

We know that superposition actually occurs at the subatomic level, because there are observable effects of interference, in which a single particle is demonstrated to be in multiple locations simultaneously. What that fact implies about the nature of reality on the observable level (cats, for example, as opposed to electrons) is one of the stickiest areas of quantum physics. Schrödinger himself is rumored to have said, later in life, that he wished he had never met that cat.

So, the cat's in the box, but, we don't know if it's dead or alive, so we assume both when the box is closed. Interesting, huh? What do you think?

When you apply the thought experiment above to particles in space, it gets more interesting. Basically, until we look at an atom, its everywhere. It only "somewhere" when we actually try to measure it. Interestingly enough, I can't help but think of all of the metaphysical books I read when I was younger that say that our reality is created by, you guess it... US.

Crossfit Workout

2008-12-05T10:16:00.001-06:00

Thanks to Bren... ugh...

We did a crossfit benchmark in this morning's conditioning class. The workout consisted of the following:

75 Side to side medicine ball swings
75 Dips on a bench
75 Pushups
75 Sit ups with ankle slaps
75 Squats

The goal was to finish all of the above in 20 minutes or less doing everything with the best form possible. Initially the reps were set at 100, but Bren lowered the number due to moans and groans from the class.

Personally, I think 100 would have been way more challenging. Not to say that 75 is not hard, but I think 100 would have put me closer to 20 minutes. Anyway... here are my times:

My times were:

Medicine ball swings: 2:20
Dips: 1:30
Pushups: 3:17 - I had to drop to my knees here as I started failing out at 50.
Sit ups: 4:08 - by far the longest for me. These were really hard for some reason. I guess I need to so more sit ups instead of crunches.
Squats: 1:49

Total time (rounded milliseconds): 13:06 (2nd in the class, I am sure 3rd if Bren were working out)

We've got a really busy weekend lined up. Here's the brief to-do:

Saturday:

Morning KF.
Afternoon KF seminars (candle training and mantis form).
Victoria photo shoot.
Jim Gaffigan 7pm @ The Paramount.

Sunday:

Not sure here, but I am assuming we will work more on Christmas preparations i.e. mailing out cards and finishing up shopping for the extended family.

I can't freaking wait for my vacation time the week after next.

We can't keep this going...

2008-11-19T09:20:00.001-06:00

I check Howard Kunstler's site every week to read his weekly ranting. This week's was particularly good, so I thought I would share.

November 17, 2008
In the Reality Lounge

    The G-20 came to Washington for the weekend and sucked all the air out of the city before announcing that they werereally serious about patching all the leaks in the foundering ship of globalism. Well, they have to at least pretend that they are doing something. Meanwhile, the former bit player known as reality has taken center stage in the ship's main lounge. It is putting on an act even gnarlier than the Kit Kat Klub show in Cabaret.
     This reality show is sending some clear signals to the denizens of the real and really crowded world. The main signal is that the trade and financing rackets of recent decades are over. The extravaganza of economic hypergrowth based on cheap resources is over. The promiscuous swapping around of risk and rewards is over. There is no global institutional framework for managing the impairment left in the wake of this binge. It will be up to the individual nations now to figure out their national lives and livings.
     Alas, the financial impairment is still on-going world-wide and has quite a ways to run before it's finished working its hoodoo on the so-called advanced economies. The lame duck US economic posse so far has done everything possible except the two things that really matter: allow the fraudulent securities at the heart of the problem to be exposed to the light of day to determine their actual value; and allow those companies who trafficked in them to suffer the full consequences by going out-of-business. For the moment, they're content to shovel cash into the truck-bed of every enterprise in America that shows up at the Treasury loading dock. This can only have the effect of eventually destroying the value of that cash.
      President-elect Obama's cagey appearance on 60-Minutesshowed that he's hardly in a position to say anything of substance about this country's predicament as long as the old posse holds the levers of the economic machinery -- and retains the ability to run it into the ground before January 20, 2009. So many tribulations are now underway in our Republic that it is hard to fathom what the head of the federal government might do besides act as a kind of psychological counselo-in-chief to a land full of people in distress.
     The world has changed faster than anyone realizes. One big question is how long the American people will stumble around in a daze before we get back to work doing constructive things in this country -- and by that I mean activities scaled to the resource realities of the years just ahead. More specifically, I mean how we are going to grow the food we eat without massive quantities of diesel fuel and petroleum-based "inputs" and also how we are going to make any of the useful products we need in an energy scarcer time.
      Perhaps Mr. Obama knows that we're not going back to anything even close to the business-as-usual that shaped our lives for the generations born after 1945. I would advise him to begin thinking about this by dividing the problem into two parts. The first part is how his government might handle the sheer emotional fallout of a people whose standard-of-living will be pulled out from under them. For a while, perhaps the first year or so, the public is apt to be trusting and generous, especially regarding a president who has had some acquaintance with being short of cash himself, and who can speak English both clearly and empathetically. Mr. Obama stands a good chance at playing that role successfully, at least for a while.
      The second part, though, is the more difficult operational and administrative matter of promoting the necessary downscaling of all the essential activities of daily life. This is especially difficult given the current trend of the government suddenly taking ownership of everything, from the banking system perhaps to certain areas of heavy industry (if Detroit gets its way). The Obama government will have to resist the temptation to prevent enterprises from failing. These failing things have to get out of the way before new activities can get underway. It will also require government leaders to tell the public the hard truth that it can't do everything we would like it to do.
    The fiasco of medical care is certainly a product of connivance between greedy and heartless insurance companies, profit-driven hospitals, and avaricious drug-makers. But the public itself is responsible for its own suicidal diet of double cheez burritos and Dr. Pepper. How about a national health-care system with one basic requirement: to qualify, participants must be within ten pounds of their appropriate weight. Pretty harsh, huh? Maybe. But times are harsh too, and bound to get harsher. This system would have the great advantage of being absolutely clear. Let the United Way and other charities devote their resources to educating the recklessly obese about diet and exercise so they can eventually qualify.
     The transportation quandary suggests that we have to move away from the private automobile and commercial trucking, and that the airline industry is certain to contract dramatically. When are we going to start the discussion about rebuilding a US public transit system that was once the envy of the world? It no longer matters how much Americans love their cars, or even how much investment we've made in car infrastructure. At some point, we just have to face the fact that democratic mass motoring is no longer on the program. Nor is a commercial economy based on incessant motoring. One other implication of this is the necessity to use our waterways for moving things and people again. Has anybody noticed, for instance, that the once-bustling New York City Harbor, possibly the biggest and best sheltered deepwater harbor in the world, has next-to-zero operating docks left along its massive perimeter? While you're at it, have a look at the waterfronts of Louisville, Cincinnati, Kansas City and a score of other inland port cities on great navigable rivers. What you'll see are condo sites, festival marketplaces, picnic grounds, and plain old empty lots -- everything but the infrastructure for commerce. We can't afford this anymore. We have to put these places back to work.
     The G-20 leaders in Washington last week made a lot of noise about ramping up domestic spending. In the decades to come, this will not happen without import replacement -- which is just what it sounds like: instead of importing things you need, you make them at home, and people get paid a living wage to do it. Import replacement, by the way, is exactly how the United States rose in the 19th century to become the world's preeminent manufacturing nation. It doesn't foreclose trade with other countries, but it self-evidently changes the terms of that trade, and it would spell the end of the kind of predatory "globalism" that has led to the current state of gross imbalance and reckless destruction.
      I believe this will happen whether we like it or not, because these things occur in cycles and the current cycle is obviously ending with a thundering crash of economies, modes of operation, habits and practices, and expectations. For better or worse, we have to move on to new ways of doing things.
      I regard the most dangerous fantasy in America right now to be the wish that we can keep running things just the way they are now (my recurring synecdoche of WalMart, Walt Disney World, and the interstate highway system) by replacing oil and gas with "alternative fuels." This just ain't gonna happen. We're going to use every kind of alt.energy there is and they will still require us to live very differently than we did the past sixty years. The public just doesn't get this. I don't know whether President-elect Obama gets this. I hope he does, and I hope part of his new mission will be to clarify this state of affairs for the public in clear and effective speech. It's going to tick off a lot of them, but it's the theme music playing in the reality lounge right now, and Mr. Obama would be advised to take up the tune.

Health and Nutritional Things

2008-11-14T11:29:00.001-06:00

So last night, I had a whole conversation with my mother regarding health and fitness. She has been going to the YMCA since the beginning of the year, but from what she tells me, has gotten minimal results.

After finding out what her routine was (spinning and weights multiple times per week resulting in over 1 hour stays in the gym), I had a few thoughts:

Ineffective cardio. Her body is probably used to the spinning classes.
Ineffective targeted weight training. Spot training doesn't work.
Diet. Diet. Diet. - If you are working out a lot (albeit possibly the wrong way, but activity nonetheless) and not seeing any results at all, a close look at diet is warranted.

I then went on a tangent about how we all lie to ourselves about what we eat. I do this all the time, apparently, now that I think of it. The times when I say, "oh a little of this is ok" or "I worked out hard today"... those are mostly bad and I, like you probably, am lying to myself about just how bad something is for me. I say mostly bad because you cannot be a food nazi at all times. You have to allow yourself the things you really like, but you have to earn them.

Anyway, I recommended to her that she keep a food log to see just what she is eating. I didn't suggest to actually change anything, just start logging which will enable her to see, from an empirical standpoint what exactly she is ingesting. Recognizing this deficiency in myself I too decided to start logging my food today. In the past, I have done this with just pen and paper, but that eventually failed because I got tired of carrying it around with me. In light of that I decided to re-purpose my mobile blog from well, mobile blog to food log.

Using my iPhone, I will upload an image of everything that goes into this fat mouth of mine for the world to see. Actually, I just like that it auto-tags the food with the date and time. Even if I am out somewhere, all I have to do is take a picture of it so that I can remember it. Later, I can go back into the blog and edit the details of what I actually ate. I only have one thing on there right now, but if you want to check it out or RSS it, feel free. The address is http://bmgfoodlog.blogspot.com.

Hopefully, this will help me to better understand in total what I am ingesting.

I am pissed off that I didn't go to conditioning class this morning. I hurt my shoulder last Friday in a very lame attempt to do a shoulder roll, which pretty much resulted in me crashing into the freakin' ground shoulder first. It's still giving me some trouble when I move it in different directions, so I decided to take the safe option and let it rest for a few more days.

I will be going to black belt class tomorrow morning to be sure I don't fall behind in the material. After that, Victoria will be testing for her senior blue belt in TKD. She feels like she is not ready, but I think I have more confidence in her than she does =).

Up for this weekend, I think Madagascar 2 is being seen tonight. There's a UFC tomorrow. Not sure where/if we are going to watch that. The Shaolin open house is tomorrow which we may or may not get to. It depends on when Victoria is finished with her testing. Sunday is the sparring festival at the Shaolin school as well. I don't think I will be sparring due to my shoulder but I would definitely like to go, watch, and support.

Have a great weekend.

Meh to Halloween

2008-10-31T14:50:00.001-05:00

So, yeah... I don't like Halloween. It's only been recently that I couldn't care any less of the "holiday" i.e. way for people to make a ton of money (see "prices of Halloween costumes"), fell completely off the face of the map.

I don't like blood, gore, or generally disturbing things. I can't watch gore movies. Here's the odd part though, it's not the violence by itself that makes it unbearable for me. For example, I have no problem watching war movies with large scale violence. I saw the new Rambo movie. I didn't have to look away. People got blown up with land mines and got arrows through the head... no problem. Now, when you add in the sick and twisted "I'm gonna torture then dismember you slowly for no reason what-so-ever b/c I'm a fucknut and I can" and I can't watch it.

We tried to go to a haunted house last night with some friends. I was a bit reluctant to go, but Victoria wanted to and I wasn't going to let her do it alone. I haven't been to a haunted house in a while, but with a name like "Mansions of Terror" you gotta know there's gonna be some bad shit there. In short, haunted houses today are NOT the same haunted houses from when I was a kid. You know what I'm talking about. When I was a kid, a haunted house was like, some guys house that he put a bunch of scary crap all over, and MAYBE he jumped out at you ONCE. No so today. Today's haunted houses are more disturbing than anything. It amazed me how people can take so much pride in the murder/rape scene that they "create" on their front lawns or in buildings like "and here we have Frankenstein, who, after not being able to land the woman of his dreams decided to commit seppuku, Dracula is holding the katana ready to cut his head off and here we have the wolf man jerking off all over the scene b/c he a necrophiliac and hes about to get some. Oh, in the tree there, we have a guy snorted like a ton of blow then hung himself after coming home to find his wife fucking the mailman. He killed them both with a blunt rusty spoon, and ate them, that's the "in the house portion", but anyway, look at the detail, you can really see the veins and neck bone protrusion. Awesome, huh?".

Uh... sorry... anyway... back to the haunted house... then...

Most of the people on the outside were dressed up in zombie like makeup. One had a chainsaw and would chase people around the parking lot. The other was like, a priest guy wearing long robes that would walk around next to you and throw up. Walking up to the front door, I could see what looked like a zombie bride essentially cutting herself or something. Retarded.

Needless to say, we never made it in the door. I was fine with this.

This leads me to my next point... movies...

Where is the psychological thrill in "either you give yourself a hysterectomy or you DIE! That's right, you cut out your own ovaries, or this cast iron spiked suit will collapse on you but only stab you slowly so you slowly bleed to death but you won't die right away, you will get tetanus and then you'll die slowly of tetanus, so the question is HYSTERECTOMY OR TETANUS DEATH!"?

This, to me, is degradation of society at its best. I find it disturbing enough that people can even think this shit up. That's fine... we are in a free country (hopefully for a little while longer) with freedom of speech and expression (hopefully for a little while longer). Still though, I cannot process in any way shape or form how people can see a trailer for a movie where it's clearly about torture and butchery and say to themselves "hey! that sounds like a great time!". Fuck that. Not me.

So I say, let me be totally gay and only want to see funny kids in costumes, eat candy, and maybe watch some movies on Halloween. Otherwise, I don't want to hear about it. I'm perfectly happy in my old man fuddy duddy house, thank you.

Done...

2008-10-13T20:58:00.001-05:00

A few years ago, John Adams said this:

There is nothing I dread so much as a division of the Republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader and converting measures in opposition to each other.

I think he might have known what he was talking about.

Up until this point, I have been pretty active in political discussions with people. I post articles that I find interesting for one reason or another and try to have debates with the people that seem to find political opposition with whatever it might be on that particular day.

I quite believe that my political switch has been turned off tonight. Something inside of me just doesn't feel like it anymore. I think the reason for this is... in the big picture, it doesn't fucking matter. My argument with you DOES NOT MATTER. I am not changing your mind and you, most likely, are not changing mine. I understaaaaaaand your opinion and your point of view, but in many cases, I don't agree with you and you don't agree with me.

It doesn't matter whether we elect McCain or Obama. The choice is between crap or more crap. You decide which is which. I don't feel like arguing with you. I don't feel like reading your 17 page dissertation on why Obama is the 2nd coming of Christ or why McCain knows anything about anything. I know he was a P.O.W. I don't think I can ever go through what he went through, however, when I see him in debates I find myself saying "huh?" a lot.

They go back and forth. They change their minds. They change their stands. They have epiphanies. They say one thing at 9am, something different at 11am, and then the polar opposite at 6pm.

I was talking with one of my friends who shall remain nameless lest he be dragged out into the streets and lynched for having strong opinions and he said something to me which I find to be very true. Democrats will not fix your problems. Republicans will not fix your problems. Only people will fix these problems. Politicians are mostly the same in that they are here to further their agendas and most likely do not give a rat's ass about you.

Ooo... hockey fight. No, that was not a plug for Palin. Fuck you.

Sorry, back to business.

I officially withdraw my hat from public political discussions. I would like for the sham that we call election day to come and go as quickly as possible so that I can stop arguing with people who I want to be friends with.

If I have spoken to you about this and we tend to agree on things, I will still probably talk to you about this stuff. You know who you are.

I know what my morals are. I know what my beliefs are. I know where I stand on issues. I know where the people that I care about stand on issues. At this point, I no longer care where you stand. At this point, I am certain that I will not see a president that will reflect said morals and beliefs.

Best of luck to us all over the next few years we are going to need it.

A quote from 1984...

2008-10-11T18:32:00.001-05:00

If there is hope, wrote Winston, it lies in the proles.

If there was hope, it must lie in the proles, because only there in those swarming disregarded masses, 85 per cent of the population of Oceania, could the force to destroy the Party ever be generated. The Party could not be overthrown from within. Its enemies, if it had any enemies, had no way of coming together or even of identifying one another. Even if the legendary Brotherhood existed, as just possibly it might, it was inconceivable that its members could ever assemble in larger numbers than twos and threes. Rebellion meant a look in the eyes, an inflexion of the voice, at the most, an occasional whispered word. But the proles, if only they could somehow become conscious of their own strength would have no need to conspire. They needed only to rise up and shake themselves like a horse shaking off flies. If they chose they could blow the Party to pieces tomorrow morning. Surely sooner or later it must occur to them to do it ? And yet - !

A New Political Party?

2008-10-10T12:07:00.001-05:00

Michael Savage wants to start a new political party. I can't say that I agree with every single point here but I do find it interesting. Here is the manifesto:

The Savage Manifesto

Domestic

A. Regulate Wall Street: End short selling. Try tycoons who profited from bailouts.
B. Cut Federal Income Taxes by 2 percent per year over four years, for a minimum total of 8 percent over four years.

C. Reduce Federal Government Departments in size by 4 percent each year, for a total reduction of size by 16 percent over four years.

D. Eliminate all public assistance for able-bodied recipients. Cut off all public assistance for immigrants for five years. Repatriate those who are not working, after two years.

E. Immediately impose tariffs on cars and trucks owned by foreign entities, even if they’re manufactured in America.

F. Cause illegal aliens to build a wall between the United States and Mexico, and then, repatriate them. Pay them a one-time worker fee.

G. Increase pay for active duty combat troops by 10 percent. Number Two. Fire any unmarried military person becoming pregnant while on active duty.”

H. Make abortions illegal, except when the physical survival of the mother is threatened, to be determined by three medical doctors. Require Norplant for all women on welfare of childbearing age.

I. Close all houses of sex and massage.

J. Expand the DEA, while decriminalizing most drugs.

K. Regarding the media; one, eliminate all foreign ownership of any American media entity. Two, break up overly large conglomerates, like News Corporation.

L. Encourage child bearing among tax paying citizens. Create a marriage incentive, through lower taxes for married heterosexual couples. And a government subsidy for each child conceived and carried to birth. Increase the subsidies for each year the couple remains married.

M. Repatriate all illegal immigrants now incarcerated. Encourage all other illegals to self-repatriate through double taxation on wages and fines on employers.”

International

A. Iraq. Send in Iraqi troops to mop up pockets of resistance. Make Iraq pay with their oil for the cost of the war. Cordon off Sadr City, force all residents to leave, then go in and mop up all resistance fighters. Divide Iraq into three to four sectors; Sunni, Shiite, Kurd, and International. Next, remove all U.S. troops after above achieved.

B. Iran. One, sanctions embargoes and mine their harbors. Nothing goes in, nothing comes out.

C. North Korea. Destroy their launching platforms, impose a Naval blockade on all goods coming in or out, except food.

D. Israel Arab Entities. Give Israel four years to become self-sufficient. Cut off all foreign aid to all nations.

E. China. 20 percent tariffs on all China made goods immediately; rising by 5 percent each year for each year China refuses to revalue their currency.

F. United Nations. Withdraw immediately. Remove all Diplomats and staff. Convert the United Nations building into housing for the working poor.

G. Mexico. Force Mexico to pay one barrel of oil for every illegal alien in the United States of America per month.

Some random thoughts...

2008-10-09T09:26:00.001-05:00

Practiced 4th spear last night... I think I am getting it down. I can get through the whole thing and didn't have to think about it. Did iron palm again for the first time in months. Amazingly the arms were just fine. 35 rolls with little to no pain. The shins however, that's well, completely different. I was lucky to get 10. Suck.

Got a giant chunk, in fact finished the "a side" of broadsword two man set. I love it... so much fun.

Realized that I need to do a lot more "working out" than I have been...

Watched the new South Park... I am so happy to see someone publicly stating just how incredibly bad the last Indiana Jones movie was. I mean literally scenes of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg holding down and raping the Indiana Jones character. Freakin hilarious.

This morning, while I was making breakfast, I had CNN on and was watching some stuff on the economy and then I had an interesting thought. Ever watch "House"? Well, the majority of episodes follow a similar format. House is a savant at diagnosing people.

At the beginning of every episode, someone comes in with some mystery disease. They think it's this, then they think it's that. They run some tests, maybe some against the persons will. Sometimes they use shady tactics to get the patient to do what they want. In the end, most of the time, a successful diagnosis is made and the patient is saved.

I told you that to tell you this. Imagine now, if you will, that our economy is the patient and the federal government and the federal reserve are "House". The only difference, though, is that in our case, the economy doesn't have House for a doctor. They have a failing first year medial student that doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. It seems at this point, the patient should have died about 3 seasons ago, but, well, this med school fuck up apparently knows enough to keep said patient in a persistent vegetative state. Time to pull the plug, in my opinion.

Seriously, I am not saying I can do any better. I am not trained in the ways of national and global economies, however, it is my understanding that THESE PEOPLE ARE?!?!?!? The words "spend less than you have available" seem to be logical.

On a final note, while I was tagging this blog, I saw some tags I haven't used in a while, particularly "optimistic" and "proud". There are things in my life that I am very optimistic and very proud of, however, many of my recent posts have been government/politics related. So, with regard to the United States and the direction that it's going. I am neither optimistic nor proud. Sad... I know...

So sad in fact that I have been thinking more and more about the people I would like to band with when the shit really hits the fan. Yeah, I know, I'm crazy, but whatever. Can anyone say kung fu commune in the middle of nowhere?

Ok, I'm done now. Bye.

OMFG

2008-10-08T17:07:00.001-05:00

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me...

LET

THEM

DIE!!!

AIG hits up Fed for more money

Three weeks after an $85 billion bailout, AIG is turning to the New York Fed for additional funding.

By Tami Luhby, CNNMoney.com senior writer

October 8, 2008: 5:52 PM ET

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- The New York Federal Reserve is lending up to $37.8 billion to American International Group to give the troubled insurer access to much-needed cash.

In exchange, AIG is giving the New York Fed investment-grade, fixed-income securities that it had previously lent out to other institutions for a fee. Those institutions are now returning these securities and want their money back.

The new program, announced Wednesday, is on top of the $85 billion the federal government agreed to lend to AIG last month to prevent the global company from collapsing. AIG said last Friday it had drawn down $61 billion.

The lending program is a way for AIG to get funding for its businesses, said a New York Fed spokesman. The system is similar to lending facilities the Fed provides to banks, which can also exchange collateral for cash.

The latest announcement does not jeopardize the government's ability to recoup its loan to AIG, experts said.

"AIG will repay the loan," said Stewart Johnson, portfolio manager at Philo Smith, an investment bank specializing in insurance. "It's just a matter of how much of themselves they will have to sell."

Roadblocks in Texas? Oh boy...

2008-10-08T10:51:00.001-05:00

I am not a drunk driver. I rarely ever drink if I am driving. If I have 1-2 drinks, I stop well before I have to drive anywhere.

When I lived in NYC, I remember seeing roadblocks from time to time where the police would give you the once over and if they thought you might be drinking, give you a sobriety test.

I came across this article today:

Texas Becomes Roadblock Battleground
Interest groups battle over roadblocks ahead of the 2009 Texas legislative session.
Interest groups are pressuring Texas lawmakers to authorize the use of roadblocks ahead of their return for the 2009 legislative session. The practice of setting up barricades on roads to stop and interrogate motorists suspected of no wrongdoing has been unlawful since a 1994 state appeals court decision ruled that a "politically accountable governing body at the state level" must first approve their use. Now Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott has scheduled an October 23 deadline for briefs to decide the Texas Public Safety Commission's request to bypass this requirement and approve roadblocks on its own authority.

Texas is one of fewer than a dozen states that currently prohibit warrantless searches of motorists. For that reason, the new president of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), Laura Dean-Mooney, made convincing the Texas legislature of the need for roadblocks a high priority for her organization.

"I have a special place in my heart for Texas," Mooney said upon taking the top job in July. "But so much more must be done. Passing interlocks for all drunk driving offenders and sobriety checkpoints to deter drunk driving would be a great start."

MADD came close to a legislative victory in April 2007 when the state Senate voted unanimously to establish the waterborne equivalent of a roadblock. The proposed "boating safety checkpoints" would have allowed police to pull over and question all recreational boaters on lakes within the state. The legislation would also have given police the discretion to use force to take a boater's blood to determine sobriety. The measure died when the state House declined to act on the bill.

The alcoholic beverage industry feels threatened by the chilling effect such draconian measures would have on sales of beer and wine at restaurants.

"By calling for roadblocks and mandating breathalyzers for first time offenders, regardless of their BAC level, MADD is ignoring the root cause of today's drunk driving problem -- hard core alcohol abusers," American Beverage Institute Managing Director Sarah Longwell said. "Because they are highly visible by design and publicized in advance, roadblocks are all too easily avoided by the chronic alcohol abusers who comprise the core of today's drunk driving problem. That leaves adults who enjoyed a glass of wine with dinner, a beer at a ball game, or a champagne toast at a wedding to be harassed at checkpoints."

The possibility of innocent drivers being arrested at such checkpoints is increased by a state police policy that gives troopers an incentive to accuse motorists of drunk driving. In a June meeting of the Public Safety Commission, a twenty-seven year veteran of the state police testified about drunk driving (DWI) arrest quotas.

"Also, my second item, some of the troopers that have earned vacation and putting in requests for vacation are being told that their vacation request will not be considered unless they are getting a certain amount of DWIs," retired Trooper Coy Lorance testified.

The commission responded by attempting to get around the prohibition on drunk driving roadblocks by referring to them as "license checks." The group put in the request to the attorney general last month after receiving an inconvenient response from the state police chief.

"Mr. Chairman, you had asked at the meeting prior to... prepare a document that would relate the legal responses to conducting driver's license, registration, and insurance checkpoints," Department of Public Safety Director Thomas Davis testified in June. "I think it's the recommendation of general counsel that without the authority being granted by a governance is that we're not able to do that legally."

In a 2005 decision, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court found that 99.29 percent of drivers stopped at state roadblocks were innocent. The results also showed that it took 53 percent more effort to make an arrest with a roadblock than to use traditional roving patrol techniques. Nonetheless, the court upheld the validity of roadblocks (view ruling).

The request letter sent to the attorney general is available in a 170k PDF file at the source link below.
Source: Request for Attorney General Opinion (Texas Department of Public Safety, 10/6/2008)

Please watch and forward, thank you!

2008-10-06T17:31:00.001-05:00

Following up...

2008-10-06T16:03:00.001-05:00

No doubt, I am pissed off that this bill was passed. We are up shit's creek with no arms. The paddle was gone a long time ago.

Apparently, I didn't have to do all of that work to figure out who from Texas voted for and against this bill. This site, govtrack.us does it all. This is great. No matter where you are, look up your reps. If they votes for this bill, DO NOT vote them back into their comfy congressional seat...

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes.xpd

Who voted for it?

2008-09-29T14:47:00.001-05:00

Ok, so here is a listing of who represents Texas...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Congressional_Delegations_from_Texas

Here's how they voted for this bailout cluster-fuck bill:

Name	Party	Yes	No
Louie Gohmert	R		X
Ted Poe	R		X
Sam Johnson	R		X
Ralph Hall	R		X
Jeb Hensarling	R		X
Joe Barton	R		X
John Culberson	R		X
Kevin Brady	R	X
Al Green	D		X
Michael McCaul	R		X
Mike Conaway	R		X
Kay Granger	R	X
Mac Thornberry	R		X
Ron Paul	R		X
Ruben Hinojosa	D	X
Silvestre Reyes	D	X
Chet Edwards	D	X
Sheila Jackson Lee	D		X
Randy Neugebauer	R		X
Charles Gonzales	D	X
Lamar Smith	R	X
Nick Lampson	D		X
Ciro Rodriguez	D		X
Kenny Marchant	R		X
Lloyd Doggett	D		X
Michael C. Burgess	R		X
Solomon Ortiz	D		X
Henry Cuellar	D		X
Gene Green	D		X
Eddie Johnson	D	X
John Carter	R		X
Pete Sessions	R	X

Totals:

Yes	9
No	23

Total by party:

Party	Yes	No
Democrat	5	4
Republican	4	19

So there you have it. The names of people that votes "yes" for this incredible stinking pile of crap:

John Culberson
Kay Granger
Ruben Hinojosa
Silvestre Reyes
Chet Edwards
Charles Gonzales
Lamar Smith
Eddie Johnson
Pete Sessions

Regardless of your party affiliation, you would be MAD to vote these people back into office. This election day.. let's vote them out. The two here that represent for my district are Carter and Lamar Smith. When I pull the handle this November, I will NOT be voting for Lamar Smith. How did your rep vote?

I urge you to see who your reps are and see how they voted. Wikipedia, I am sure has a listing of everyone that represents for your state.

Stoopid chart...

2008-08-22T13:26:00.001-05:00

I don't get it. Can anyone explain this to me?!? Does the bracket mean that that shit is 4.6 and the LDAP connector is 6.10?!? What?

Blackbelt'd

2008-08-22T10:10:00.001-05:00

Preface: For all of you that have done this already and know this feeling please feel free to skip =) I know it's not really a big deal to you all.

I started dabbling in martial arts when I was about 18 or 19. I really can't remember. I have always been drawn to the Chinese arts as opposed to Okinawan or Japanese. Not that there is anything wrong with those, I just always liked the Chinese stuff much more.

My first experience in martial arts was with my Uncle Robert. Since I wanted to learn Kung Fu, I would drive to his house in Brooklyn once or twice a week and he would show me some of what he knew. He would make me do exercises with large rubber bands, handstand pushups, tiger walking... he would take me to the park by his house and have me scratch at trees to develop strength in my hands (must have looked retarded to the ppl in the park). At the time I was in my teens and really self conscious so I was more concerned about people watching me than actually doing the exercises.

I soon stopped doing that as I started college and didn't have time. I would still practice some of the stuff that he had taught me, but it wasn't enough.

After my first year at Manhattan School of Music, I transferred to CUNY @ Staten Island and lived back at home. That being the case, it was easier for me to devote time to practicing. I joined a Shotokan school and was off and running. I was really good at it, but it always felt sort of wrong to me. It always felt very rigid and very unyielding. Their forms were very linear and really easy to learn. I found that I picked them up quicker than others at my level. In fact, I used to go to this Shotokan website that had the katas written out and I would actually learn them off the site. I know that you are thinking "no way, I'm sure they looked nothing like the way the school taught it". Well, one time I told my Sensei that I had done this, so he asked me to show him. It was a purple belt kata, roughly 2-3 ranks above where I was at the time. When I finished the kata, he looked at me and said "damn, that's pretty close to how we do it here".

As I started moving up the ranks in Shotokan, the classes started getting crappy. There was a lot of goofing around and it just was not going where I wanted it to go. I left the school.

Soon after that, I joined a Hung Gar kung fu school that was close to my house. Finally, I was learning some stuff that was more up my alley. At this school, they did Chi Kung as well as forms, self defense, etc. They were a very traditional school that also did things like the Lion Dance during Chinese new year in Chinatown. The master there was Chinese and made a few trips a year to go back and study. All seemed really well. After about a year, I ended up leaving the school under somewhat dubious circumstances.

<Dubious Circumstances>

At this point in time, I worked at the Cargo Cafe and stated being quite flirtatious with a girl that worked there names Sara. Sara was friends with this guy Adolpho, who was a student at the Hung Gar school. I think you can see where this was going.

I started dating Sara and apparently Adolpho didn't like that. To my knowledge, from what she told me, they were friends. Apparently, he took that as me stepping on his toes with her. I asked before I proceeded. I am not a douche bag. Had she told me, "well, we are kinda dating" I would have not pursued the issue, but when I asked, I was told "oh, no, we are just friends". Rock, game on.

After I started dating Sara, the tension between he and I was high all the time. In light of that, I ended up leaving the school under the mentality that he was there first. May be silly, I know, but that is how I felt at the time.

</Dubious Circumstances>

Finally, I moved here to Austin and found Shaolin-Do, my current school. When I started going, I opted to start in the internal program (TaiChi) as work was stressing me out. About 6 months into that, I started in the external program. I won't bore you with the details b/c most of you that read this have been through them, but after roughly 3 years of busting my ass, I finally, from the first school ever, earned a black belt!

One of the things that I have said before in this blog is that it is only the beginning. Now, the cool stuff happens and well, I know I have said it before, but now being here, I can see that this IS just the beginning. The last 3 years were a preface, so, I say, man, let the good times roll!

Congratulations to everyone else that tested with me, job well done! And special thanks to Sifu Ryon for not sweeping the shit out of me during San He =)

Lastly, click here for some pictures from after the test. I will post some videos of me as soon as I get them off of Victoria's camera.

An open letter to the Texas sun...

2008-08-11T14:49:00.001-05:00

Dear Texas Sun,

This is not going to be easy for you to hear, but, I think it's important that you do. We should all be looking to better ourselves and I think this could really help you.

Ready?

Ok...

It's too much. It's just TOO much. You are too much. Can you tone it down a bit please? You are WAY too overbearing.

The New York sun isn't nearly as oppressive as you. What is your deal? Were you beaten as a budding proto-star by your red giant parents and now need to take out your frustration on us tiny people? If that is the case, I suggest you start seeing a shrink because that's just messed up.

Among the aforementioned, my additional complaints are as follows:

I don't even want to go outside, like, ever. I don't want to sit outside, walk around outside, or just be outside. Never in my life have I felt bad for grass and trees, but, I do now feel really bad for them as they have to whether your constant overbearing photon bombardment.
You make me so grumpy and frustrated. Every time I am required to perform an action in your presence, I become a person I don't like. I become short, frustrated, and just general complainy like. You make me do it. You suck.
You cost me money. I keep my thermostat on 78 in the summer, even then, my damn electric bill is close to $150. I have to water my lawn and trees more b/c of you and that is JUST TO KEEP THEM FROM DYING. My grass feels like (to steal from Wendy's blog) shredded wheat or some other kind of shitty cereal. Why the hell can't you just calm down a bit??!?! Jerk.
You make me tired. I can't do shit outside without feeling like I need to take like a 100 hour nap when I get done doing that 3 hour thing. Do you even know what that is like? I am 27 for fuck sake. You make me feel like I'm 90.
You finally get tired and start backing off in like November. NOVEMBER. Don't you know you should start toning it down in like, September? What is there some kind of galactic trophy for "Most People Burned and Irritated Annually"? You suck.

Well, Texas Sun, I hope that the above information has been informative. I am pretty sure you are a self centered asshole and won't take any of this to heart. I still think that it is important for you to know these things. I ask, no... plead... no BEG that you consider the above grievances and take steps to resolve them.

Thank you,

Bryan

Weekend activities...

2008-08-11T11:09:00.001-05:00

I will write more about the weekend later, or you can check Victoria's blog @ http://yellowgin.blogspot.com. I wanted to quickly post some pics of some house stuff that we did over the weekend:

New gravel bed, right side:

New gravel bed, left side:

Both gravel beds:

Gravel in the back with new Jasmine vines, Trellises are in the garage. They are red colored wood, should look really nice.

New stones in the garbage can area:

What the hell is going on?!!??!

2008-08-08T10:34:00.001-05:00

Jason, who likes to get me all upset and mad in the morning sent me this link today:

http://www.usnews.com/blogs/washington-whispers/2008/08/07/one-nation-under-a-new-obama-salute.html

Does this make you as mad as it does me? This, in fact, makes me irate. It's Orwellian. Here is how I see this in my mind:

Oh... and please submit your right arm for chipping. We need to know where you are at all time.

Don't fit the template of a "normal American"? Be careful, someone might report you.

Is this a road that we really want to go down???

Wake the hell up people. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing!

There's A War Going on for Your Mind

2008-08-07T09:37:00.001-05:00

I love the lyrics from this song from the Flobots. Even if you don't like them, you have to appreciate these lyrics given the current state of our society:

There's a war going on for your mind
Media mavens mount surgical strikes from trapper keeper collages and online magazine racks
Cover girl cutouts throw up pop-up ads
Infecting victims with silicone shrapnel
Worldwide passenger pigeons deploy paratroopers
Now it's raining pornography
Lovers take shelter
Post-production debutantes pursue you in nascar chariots
They construct ransom letters from biblical passages and bleed mascara into holy water supplies

There's a war going on for your mind
Industry insiders slang test tube babies to corporate crackheads
They flash logos and blast ghettos
Their embroidered neckties say "stop snitchin'"
Conscious rappers and whistleblowers get stitches made of acupuncture needles and marionette strings

There is a war going on for your mind
Professional wrestlers and vice presidents want you to believe them
The desert sky is their bluescreen
They superimpose explosions
They shout at you
"pay no attention to the men behind the barbed curtain
Nor the craters beneath the draped flags
Those hoods are there for your protection
And meteors these days are the size of corpses

There's a war going on for your mind
We are the insurgents

Quantum Lock

2008-08-05T12:10:00.001-05:00

Holy crap. I remember reading about this as possibility a few years ago. To see an article about it in Popular Science is just crazy. To think that we can now encrypt data using random bits generated by light particles... whoa... this is directly from Popular Science's web site. Link here.

An Uncrackable Lock

A quantum cryptographic chip using light particles to encrypt data during electronic transfer could throw off hackers for good

By Jaya Jiwatram Posted 08.05.2008 at 12:23 pm 0 Comments

So Long, Hackers: An unhackable chip could make breaches a thing of the past. Photo by iStockphoto

Imagine an encrypted data chip so secure that even the greatest hackers in history would find impossible to crack. That chip is very much a reality thanks to the combined efforts of Siemens, Austrian Research Centers (ARC) and Graz University of Technology who have teamed up to create the first quantum cryptology chip for commercial use to ensure securer electronic communication.

The lock protects data using a random sequence of numbers from light particles. At the moment, data is protected using a key distribution system based on mathematical algorithms. But, with enough time and effort, those algorithms can be cracked. The quantum cryptographic light lock, on the other hand, takes advantage of the laws of nature by using photons—individual light particles—to create completely random codes through an optical array. When these codes are transferred to the receiving end through fiber-optic cables, it waits till it is verified through communication partners before creating a fail-safe key. The chip has also been designed in such a way that it can detect anyone trying to tap into the information while its generating a key and if it does register someone, the photons are changed or destroyed and the entire process is repeated until its sure nobody is listening. It sounds almost like magic, but the developers expect the technology to be in serious use two years from now.

Whatever, Facebook...

2008-07-31T09:37:00.001-05:00

... I don't need your dating so and so ...

F You, Texas

2008-07-31T07:33:00.001-05:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zogby Poll

2008-07-30T08:40:00.001-05:00

I saw this Zogby poll last week and thought it was very interesting. Things are heating up. Things that I thought were far off don't seem all that far away anymore. Can anyone say "revolution"? Read...

Released: July 23, 2008

Middlebury Institute/Zogby Poll: One in Five Americans Believe States Have the Right to Secede

Survey finds 18% would support a secessionist effort in their state

UTICA, New York -One in five American adults - 22% - believe that any state or region has the right to "peaceably secede from the United States and become an independent republic," a new Middlebury Institute/Zogby International telephone poll shows.

I believe any state or region has the right to peaceably secede and become an independent republic:

Agree - 22%

Disagree - 73%

Not sure - 5%

The level of support for the right of secession was consistent in every region in the country, though the percentage was slightly higher in the South (26%) and the East (24%). The figures were also consistent for every age group, but backing was strongest among younger adults, as 40% among those age 18 to 24 and 24% among those age 25 to 34 agreed states and regions have secession rights.

Broken down by race, the highest percentage agreeing with the right to secede was among Hispanics (43%) and African-Americans (40%). Among white respondents, 17% said states or regions should have the right to peaceably secede.

I would support a secessionist effort in my state:

Agree - 18%

Disagree - 72%

Not sure - 10%

Politically, liberal thinkers were much more likely to favor the right to secession for states and regions, as 32% of mainline liberals agreed with the concept. Among the very liberal the support was only slightly less enthusiastic - 28% said they favored such a right. Meanwhile, just 17% of mainline conservatives thought it should exist as an option for states or regions of the nation.

Asked whether they would support a secessionist movement in their own state, 18% said they would, with those in the South most likely to say they would back such an effort. In the South, 24% said they would support such an effort, while 15% in the West and Midwest said the same. Here, too, younger adults were more likely than older adults to be supportive - 35% of those under age 30 would support secession in their state, compared to just 17% of those over age 65. Among African Americans, 33% said they would support secession, compared to just 15% of white adults. The more education a respondent had, the less likely they were to support secession - as 38% of those with less than a high school diploma would support it, compared to just 10% of those with a college degree.

To gauge the extent to which support for secession comes from a sense that the nation's current system is not working, a separate question was asked about agreement that "the United States' system is broken and cannot be fixed by traditional two-party politics and elections." Nearly half of respondents agreed with this statement, with 27% who somewhat agree and 18% who strongly agree.

I believe the United States' system is broken and cannot be fixed by traditional two-party politics and elections:

Agree - 44%

Disagree - 53%

Not sure - 3%

The telephone poll, conducted by Zogby International, included 1,209 American adult respondents. It was conducted July 9-13, 2008, and carries a margin of error of +/- 2.9 per cent.

The sponsor of the poll was the Middlebury Institute, a think tank for "the study of separatism, secession, and self-determination," based in Cold Spring, NY. Their web site address is: MiddleburyInstitute.org.

Most interesting to me is the fact that 44% of people polled feel like the system is broken. 44%?!?!?! Wow! That is nearly half of the sampling. What would happen if that number continued to grow? What would happen if those people were just a little more angry... oh boy.

Sheeple!! Wake up!!

2008-07-30T08:03:00.001-05:00

My friend Jason sent me this link this morning and I thought it was really relevant to what I see in our world today. What does this mean to you? Do you think everything's ok? Read it... really read it and think about it. Right now, we are in the apathy to dependency stage... not too far off from bondage... cool, eh? Vote Barack and we can get these CHANGES on even quicker.

When the thirteen colonies were still a part of England, Professor Alexander Tyler wrote about the fall of the Athenian republic over two thousand years previous to that time:

A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves money from the public treasure. From that moment on the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most money from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy followed by a dictatorship.

The average age of the world's great civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through the following sequence: from bondage to spiritual faith, from spiritual faith to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependency, from dependency back to bondage.

-- Alexander Tyler

Triple Treat

2008-07-28T09:35:00.001-05:00

So, I was paging through the listings in the iPhone "restaurants" application again last night and came across this jewel from Little Caesars. I have never had the pleasure of enjoying any of the culinary masterpieces from this fine establishment (and I think I will keep it that way), but never the less, I thought this was hilarious. See annotated image below...

In other news... this weekend was a good one. Here's the recap that I know you all love to read (all 3 of you):

Friday night: V went to class as it was her last before testing for her senior green belt (more on that in a minute). When she got home, we were trying to figure out what to do for dinner. After some thought and debate, we finally ended up going to Trudy's. It was delicious... I had not been there in a while. When we got home, we promptly, and in normal fashion as of late ,conked right out.

Saturday: We slept in a bit then got up and got ready to go to the sports center for V's testing. My stomach was NOT feeling all that hot. I think that what I ate at Trudy's just did not sit right with me. Aside from my squirming in my chair, her testing was really great to watch. I am really happy that she invited me. I thought that her form went really well. She did a really good job on it. I was really proud of her b/c I know she was very nervous. Her sparring was even better to watch. Not only were there numerous hook and roundhouses delivered to other people's heads, but straight up sucker punches to their stomachs. Now, I guess you can't really call it a sucker punch b/c you are sparring. It's funny to watch how people will just leave themselves open and get it. Needless to say that was also really good to watch. I was very proud of what I saw. Hopefully, I can sit closer next time =).

As I mentioned before, my stomach was killing me, so I literally drove home at like 80mph. I'm sure that excusable by law, right?

When we got home, we decided that it would be good to finally set that other computer up using my old table as a temporary desk. Then we decided it would be better to swap the futon and desk. THEN we decided that we need to run cables across the room to do that.

I am now the proud owner of 300 feet of Cat5e cable, a crimping tool, and RJ45 jacks. Incidentally, if you need any Cat5e (network) cables made, let me know. I'll be happy to make one for you and 1/2 store cost =).

Anyway... the office now looks a WHOLE lot better and more comfortable. I will take some pictures and post soon.

We also did some work in the garage organizing stuff.

Unfortunately, we did not got Ben's party. I just did not want to be away from facilities for too long, my stomach was killing me.

Sunday: We slept in a little bit again, but then got back to doing stuff in the house. We did some more stuff in the office. It's pretty much done. We got A LOT done in the garage too. That is almost done as well. We also were able to get the futon for the outside front porch weather treated so that it will be all ready for the cushions which are scheduled to come either today or tomorrow. Once it's no longer in the triple #&(@ing digits here, it will be nice to sit outside.

Today... back to work... waiting on cushions, getting grass cut, going to KF to practice with Troy, then teach my class.

Currently pissing me off: Windows Vista Home Basic. Why the FUCK would you remove the ability for someone to connect remotely to your OS. M$ assholes. Most VNC options really suck and are not reliable at all. If anyone knows of a NON-VNC RDP alternative that does not require installing an additional client (like PC Anywhere) OR if anyone knows how to enable or ADD terminal services to Windows Vista Home Basic, please please please let me know.

Article and Weekend

2008-07-21T10:46:00.001-05:00

Saturday morning, I was listening to a BBC news podcast and they ran a really interesting story. After searching the web a little bit, I was able to find something close:

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/janet-street-porter/janet-streetporter-a-dignified-death-at-home-is-a-human-right-869683.html

It's about something a lot of us don't really think about. Where do you want to die? I'm not talking about things you have no control over like a car accident or the like. This is more of a you know you are going to die and there is nothing that can be done about it, situation.

The story centered around a man that had cancer. It was in an advanced state and there was really nothing more that the medical community could do with him. I won't go into too much detail, but long story short, he ended up opting to stay at home and spend the last of his time with his family.

He was able to be with his wife and kids. He was able to listen to his kids play piano and be with his wife whenever he wanted (as opposed to visiting hours). Most of all, his entire family was present when he left this world. They all got to say goodbye and see him off. What can be better than that? I think that many of us don't really think of this as an option.

Anyway, this weekend was jam packed. I had a pretty busy work week last week...

Friday: After work, Victoria and I finished cat proofing the backyard. They cats now can go outside in the backyard unsupervised and they love it.

Saturday: Was occupied mostly during the day. Got home around 6pm, did some stuff round the house, then we went to Scotty's party. It was a good time. We did leave a little early as I was not really feeling too good. Lack of sleep plus jack and coke plus beer... ugh...

Sunday: We slept in a little bit which was much needed. After waking up, we hit the agenda:

Went to the Austin Citywide Garage Sale
Visited a tattoo shop that Victoria is thinking about giving some business to.
Sold my old house phone.
Went out to a new BBQ place for lunch (J &J in Cedar Park)... YUM!
Went to Lowe's to get some more stuff for the garage (1 shelf for workout stuff, peg board, and accoutrements).
Went to see Dark Knight, which was freakin' awesome.
Cleaned the house.

Needless to say... we were both really tired last night, but we got A LOT done!

This week ... lookin' busy again...

Good times...

2008-07-17T09:48:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a good day. I got a lot of work done, I got to meet V for lunch (@ Jimmy John's ... it was my first time, and it was good, and I will go back), I got to the bank, I got to the supermarket, and I didn't feel any work stress at all. It was very nice.

The evening was nice too. V decided to stay home from class so we got to spend a lot of time together. That, in and of itself is a good night. I tried a new recipe for "low fat chicken corn chowder". Let's just say I ended up not keeping the leftovers... it was not so good.

Aside from that, I helped Victoria get some new ring tones on her iPhone. If you are interested in not paying Apple $2 for a freakin' ring tone, check this site out:

http://www.ehow.com/how_2160460_custom-iphone-ringtones-free.html

Finally, I got my old desk sold. Strike one item off the list. I didn't get quite as much as I wanted for it, but... it's gone and I can move on.

Back to yesterday...

After Jimmy John's, V had some extra time to kill, so we went to Starbuck's (which is not a regular event). We both ended up getting "skinny" drinks which are made sugar free and with low fat or fat free milk. This trip did however spark my curiosity about some of the other things that I order at Starbuck's. This morning, continuing my expose on nutritional facts, I took a trip to Starbuck's web site and found the following:

1) Green Tea Frappuccino - Hmm... I guess another case of "I knew this wasn't all that great for me, but convinced myself that it was OK". The calories aren't horrible but, whoa whoa whoa on the carbs. That can pretty much derail any good eating day that might be having...

2) Vanilla Bean Frappuccino - <insert comments from #1>. Again, not SO bad, but bad enough =).

3) Caramel Macchiato - This is like a once in a blue moon sorta thing for me. Just about half as bad as the above items (which seems completely backwards to me). Certainly an eye opener.

Finally, just for shits & giggles, I wanted to see what is in a can of Coca-Cola. Now, we all know that sodas are "fat free" and by many people's standards, that makes it ok, but not for me. Look at the carbs... 27g for ONE CAN. I know some people that drink like multiple cans of this shit daily... wow.

Lots of OM's

2008-07-15T15:47:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the backup... I have been lazy...

1) Awesome topic. I know a few people that are like this. Are you? Check it out. Be conscious in your own life. Be responsible for your actions.

July 10, 2008
Unconscious Communication
Chronic Lateness

Being late for an appointment or a date can seem like a small thing that really doesn’t matter, but it communicates volumes, whether we mean it to or not. Being kept waiting is an experience that almost no one enjoys, because at best, it wastes their time, and at worst, it indicates a lack of regard. It’s as if we’re saying that our time is more important than their time, so we don’t need to honor them by showing up when we said we would. When we are running late, it means a lot if we call and let the person know, especially if it’s going to be more than ten minutes. However, if we are chronically late, it may take more than a phone call to properly address the issue.

If it’s become a habit of ours not to be on time, we may want to look inside ourselves and see what’s going on. It’s easy enough to make excuses about our behavior, or to project responsibility on the other person, perceiving them to be uptight if they are irritated by our tardiness. What’s more difficult, and more meaningful, is looking at ourselves and asking why it is that we always, or often, show up late. Sometimes this happens out of a lack of self-regard, as if we aren’t really important anyway, so why will anyone care if we’re late, or don’t show up at all. Chronic lateness can also stem from being disorganized, or simply trying to do too much in one day. Another possible reason for being late to a particular appointment, or date, is that we don’t really want to be there. We communicate our disinterest or boredom by not showing up on time.

Whatever our reasons, if we raise them to the conscious level, we have an opportunity to live a more conscious life. As we begin to understand the deeper reasons behind our inability to show up on time, we have the option to communicate clearly and consciously about how we really feel, rather than communicating unconsciously by being late.

2) Look beneath the surface! There is more to you than your shoes, hair, clothes, money, <insert material object here>.

July 11, 2008
Under The Hood
Importance Of Looking Deeper

It’s easy to get caught up in examining our actions instead of really deeply examining ourselves. This can be deceiving because our actions may be very spiritual—we meditate, are nice to people, take care of ourselves and others—and yet, we may not be penetrating to the issues below the surface. It’s as if we’ve washed and shined the surface of our car without taking the time to check under the hood. We may appear to be in great shape, but if we aren’t engaging in the deep, inner work of self-examination, the chances are good that we are not deeply aware of the real substance of our lives.

We live in a very appearance-oriented, externally focused world, so it makes sense that we place a lot of value on how our lives look, sometimes to the detriment of noticing how our lives really feel. When we get too caught up in what we are doing and lose track of our core, we sometimes begin to feel dissociated, as if we are not fully awake, alive, and grounded. This is a sure sign that it’s time to engage in the hard work of going deep within to rediscover the foundation of our lives. Without the substance that comes from looking at ourselves deeply, and working through the difficult things we find, our spiritual lives can start to feel hollow or shallow, as if there’s nothing at the center holding it all together.

Of course, the peace that comes with meditation and spiritual practice is an essential part of the whole picture of our development, but it serves us best in conjunction with the less settling, more chaotic work of digging around below the surface to see what needs to be healed, owned, or released. Then our actions are more than just an attempt to keep everything in control, looking pretty and nice. Fueled by the energy of a life in transformation, they become powerful expressions of courage and faith, further inspiring our own inner work and that of those around us.

July 15, 2008
A Bad Habit
Being Hard On Ourselves

One of the key components of human consciousness that most of us need to address and change is our tendency to be hard on ourselves. We do this in ways that are both overt and subtle, and half the work sometimes is recognizing that we are doing it at all. For example, if we find it difficult to graciously accept compliments, this is probably a sign that we tend to be hard on ourselves. Other ways in which we express this tendency include never feeling satisfied with a job well done, always wanting to be and do better, and getting mad at ourselves for getting sick. Getting mad at ourselves at all indicates that we need to rescue ourselves from our learned ability to be unkind to ourselves.

In essence, when we are hard on ourselves, we send our bodies the message that we are not good enough. Whenever we do this, we do damage that will need to be addressed later, and we sap our systems of much-needed energy. Being hard on ourselves is a waste of precious time and energy that we could use in positive ways. To begin to understand how this works, we can think about times when someone made us feel that we weren’t good enough. Even just thinking about it will create an effect in our bodies that doesn’t feel good. We may be used to the feeling, but when we really tune into it, we instinctively know that it is not good for us on any level.

Like any bad habit, being hard on ourselves can be a challenging one to release, but the more we feel the burden it places on us, the more motivated we will be to change. At first, just noticing when we are doing it and how it makes us feel is enough. As our awareness increases, our innate impulse toward health and well-being will be activated, moving us out of danger and into a more positive and more natural relationship with ourselves.

iPhones and eating out...

2008-07-15T13:01:00.001-05:00

So, if you have been keeping up with Victoria's blog, you will see that she recently got the new 3G iPhone. Yay!

What does that mean for yours truly? I now have her old, err, classic, 2G iPhone... and I have apps. Tons and tons of apps! One of those apps is called "Restaurant" and I learned some startling shit a few nights ago.

This application basically lets you pick a restaurant to view nutritional information about the food that they serve at said restaurant. Wow...

So, I like Chili's and Cheddar's from time to time. I also will go to Wendy's if I am in a pinch. Particularly, at Cheddar's or Chili's I will almost ALWAYS get the Buffalo Chicken Salad. After viewing this information, I doubt this will be the case going forward.

Check this crap out:

Wow... that's close to being as bad as a burger or something. Holy crap! Here is an example of something I will not be eating again. I guess it's easy to think that just because it's a salad and has leafy things in it, it is not so bad for you, but... wow.

When I looked up the stuff from Wendy's I found out that nutritionally it's not that bad for you. Well, the stuff that I usually order is not that bad for you. Usually, I get the small chili and a side salad. That results in about 550 calories, and, if I picked a better dressing, not TOO much fat. Once you add in the chicken nuggets, it's just as bad (if not worse) as the salad above. Didn't see that coming. Check this:

If, for shits and giggles, we take a look at a Caesar salad with vinaigrette dressing, we see a vast improvement:

Conclusion:

What I thought was "not so bad" for me actually is. Damnit.

Moving forward:

No more buffalo chicken salad, which forms the logical conclusion of no more salads with friend chicken of any kind. Stick to grilled.
No more ranch dressing. Stick to vinegar based dressings. Too much fat in ranch dressing.
Make my own damn buffalo chicken... wow.

I don't even want to touch a burger at this point. I did at some point know how bad this shit is for you, but for some reason, the severity of exactly HOW BAD this is to eat had become decreased in my head. This was a very good reminder as I am known to eat the occasional fast food burger from time to time.

Here's an example of Wendy's baconator. This is something that looks delicious to me. In fact, as much as I hate to admin it, I actually felt myself start to salivate in just visualizing the commercial for this. Sick how that works, but that's an entirely different blog post. Here are the facts (bad bad):

Ok... I guess I should pay attention to this conference call now. BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT YOU EAT WHEN YOU ARE OUT!!!

Good quote...

2008-07-11T08:34:00.001-05:00

Saw this coming through RSS this morning:

People do not lack strength, they lack will.
- Victor Hugo
French novelist, poet and playwright

So true...

I wish...

2008-06-27T12:23:00.001-05:00

Today's Daily OM really hit home as I feel very much like this is where we are as a people, planet, what have you. I would really, REALLY like to believe that we are all on the cusp of evolving as a society. Read on...

June 27, 2008
Universal Awakening
Rippling And Tipping

A snowball at the top of a mountain has the potential to become huge, just by rolling down the mountain and gathering more snow. In a short time, this tiny snowball can become a force to be reckoned with. We humans are like this when it comes to exchanging energy and vision, and no matter how few people are involved at the beginning, there is the potential for massive change. As consciousness seekers, we are in the midst of this process, and it is amazing to see people we thought might never come around, waking up to their truth. Each time we see this, we can count ourselves blessed to be living at a time when the awareness of humanity seems to be at a tipping point, as more and more individuals open their minds and change their ways.

For some people, this revolves around an awareness of the environment, for others it is a spiritual awakening, and for many it is both. A great change in consciousness is sweeping through us all, as we recognize that things are not what they have seemed to be, that there is more to our lives than meets the eye. Many of us have the awareness and the energy at this time to break through old, outmoded ways of seeing things and to move into a new way of being in the world, and it is essential that we do so. The beauty of living at this time is that even small actions have a powerful ripple effect, and the reverberations of what we do have the power to reach and open many minds.

It is as if a scale is about to tip in favor of higher consciousness, and each one of us has the power to bring humanity closer to that point with the smallest of actions. Each time we move in the direction of our dreams and visions, we can visualize another small pebble dropping into the pond, or another gold weight on the scale, rippling and tipping our way to universal awakening.

A Stark Contrast

2008-06-21T11:36:00.001-05:00

It's a pretty relaxing Saturday. Victoria is out at her TKD class and I am home left to my own devices (tee-he). I was going though some journal entries that I made in google docs. This is stuff that I couldn't post here when I was working for <company that I used to work for> (I still wont mention the name, if you know me, you know who I used to work for). I found a journal entry that I made on 3.20.2008 regarding how I felt about work. It made me really happy to read over again because things are drastically different now. Here's the journal entry, edited only to remove the company's name:

I am really starting to not like myself while I am at work. I am not the person that I am outside of work in any way shape or form. At work, I am angry, pissed off, frustrated, short, and, what really bothers me the most is that I just really don't care about the work that I do. I honestly could really care less about any of the work that crosses my desk.

My only motivation to do any work is so that people will leave me alone. I have little to zero interest in almost any issue that comes into my queue. Couple this with the fact that I have completely fallen into the "cover your ass" mentality at work... I am not happy. I guess another factor is that I can just feel myself becoming less and less of a marketable employee as time goes on. It's starting to sound more and more true, what they say about <former company>. The longer you are here, the longer you will stay here. You get so pigeon holed into your special area that you completely loose site of the outside world.

What bugs me the most is that I can't just go out and get a developer job like I used. I have almost completely lost all of my skills in other areas. I am partly to blame for this as is <former company>. How in the world am I going to work 40-50 hours/week and have any interest in doing anything computer related by the time I get home???

Nothing... and I mean nothing in the world makes me as seethingly angry as work does. I got a god damn flat tire in the middle of Tennessee on the way to Lexington, had to drive an hour to an auto center, and spend $150 for 1 tire... 1 TIRE!!! and I was not even close to being as mad as I get on a daily fucking basis at this job.

So there it is. Let's review what is different:

I am no longer pigeon holed into any particular area or technology.
I am learning new things every day. Since my job now is half development and half services, not a day goes by where I don't learn at least one new thing about technology or web related software development.
Work does not make me angry any more. I now see the daily tasks that I have as challenges that I WANT to work on. There are times when I get frustrated, but in this sense, they are more like growing pains as I am constantly working with new things. I haven't wanted to smash something in months .
I am no longer working for the weekend. What a nice feeling. I can actually enjoy my time between 8am and 5pm everyday. What a concept.
I no longer feel like a worthless cog in a giant piece of shit machine. I actually take pride in the work that I do now. It isn't enough anymore more for me now to do the absolute minimum to remain in good standing. I want to better and I want to do more.
I don't feel the CYA or "if I do this for you, will you leave me alone" mentality anymore. I want to do things well and I want to be proud of what I do.

That's it I guess. It's like night and day.

In other news, I found this recipe this morning that I am going to try very soon. It looks delicious (in order to give proper credit, this came from LivinLaVidaLoCarb):

Mouthwatering Low-Carb Bacon & Cheese Cauliflower Better-Than-Potato Pancakes

LOW-CARB BACON & CHEESE CAULIFLOWER CAKES
1 head of cauliflower
1/2 stick butter (melted)
6 strips of crumbled bacon
3 Tbs sour cream
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
Salt and pepper to taste
1 large egg
Cheese (optional topping)
Sour cream (optional topping)

Break up the cauliflower and place in a large pot of water. Cook on high heat to a boil for 20-30 minutes until very soft. When it reaches this consistency, put out paper towels across the counter and carefully pull the cauliflower out individually on the paper towels. Take more paper towels and place on top of the cauliflower. Gently press down to soak up the excess water in the cauliflower.

Grab a big bowl and place the cauliflower you just dabbed with the paper towels in it. Using a potato masher, thoroughly mash up the cauliflower until it is smooth. Add butter, bacon, sour cream, whipping cream, salt and pepper, and egg. Whip until well-blended.
Heat up a non-stick skillet to medium high, spray cooking spray or use butter to grease the bottom of the pan, and scoop the cauliflower mixture into the skillet. Cook the cauliflower patties for couple of minutes constantly scraping the sides. Gently flip and place cheese on top cooking for two more minutes.

Plate the cauliflower cake and put a dollop of sour cream on top.

ALTERNATIVE RECIPE OPTION: My wife Christine loves garlic and onions, so I added these to the cauliflower mix before the skillet step. It's not too bad, so you might try it!

Must watch - The Tradegy of Suburbia

2008-06-20T15:33:00.001-05:00

Another political video...

2008-06-19T10:35:00.001-05:00

How far are we from this? I know it's a little much at the end there, however, it is interesting to see how little steps lead to a drastic change over time:

Wha???

2008-06-18T19:02:00.001-05:00

As with all videos regarding politics, take it with a grain of salt. Just thought it was interesting.

Just a quickie...

2008-06-13T15:02:00.001-05:00

What a weird morning. Both of us were up at like 4am. WIDE AWAKE.

Needless to say, I am hella tired now. I went to class this morning, then over to Sodade for some tea and to hang with Nik for a bit.

I then had to stop at the god forsaken AT&T store. Why?, you ask? Well, I have had no service on my phone for 2 days now. You don't think that has anything to do with my recent switch to UVERSE does it? Hmm. Well, upon arrival at the AT&T store, I tell the sales associate my dilemma. He is very empatheeeetic and does some keyboard acrobatics only to find that my account, has indeed, been canceled.

I can only surmise that things occurred in the following manner. Last Sunday, I had DISH! network, and AT&T DSL/home phone. My cell phone bill is rolled into this bill as well. I received a call notifying me that UVERSE is now available in my area. Woopie!I kindly ask if, once my home phone and DSL are disconnected if I can have my cellular bill rolled into my UVERSE bill. "Sure, no problem. I will make a note on your account", he says. No problem indeed.

Apparently, whatever ape they have processing orders at AT&T interpreted that note as "cancel account... ooo oo oo aaa aaa aaaa". Awesome.

So, after about 30 min of standing around the AT&T store, my service was restored. Thank you AT&T. Can I have my time back now please?

Incidentally, while I was there, I used an iPhone to send notifications to boss to let him know that I was going to be back online soon as I was stranded in the AT&T store, held hostage until this issue was resolved.

I should have never touched the iPhone. Now, I really want one. Sigh...

Back to work...

Oh ... so ... funny!!

2008-06-12T20:02:00.001-05:00

Gummi Lighthouses: When Candy Design Goes Terribly, Hilariously Wrong

Photo courtesy of Ryland (who has the best sign generator site) and Miss Fipi Lele.

Feeling accomplished...

2008-06-11T10:22:00.001-05:00

Finally, I was able to wake my happy ass up at 640am and get to class on a Wednesday morning. Let's try to go 2 for 2 and do it Friday as well.

This morning's class was very good. I finished five directional palm which puts my mind at ease a little bit. Testing is coming up rather quickly and we all still have one form left to learn. I have been a little worried as of late that I don't have all of my material yet, but then again, August 20th is still 2 months away. One month to learn one form and one month to practice them all is a very good amount of time.

I think, at this point, I need to focus a lot more on my physical conditioning and endurance rather than the forms themselves. They will come through repetition. I will be ready, don't you worry.

I am really looking forward to going to the Bleach movie tonight. I, again, have already seen it, but it will be really nice to see it on the big screen.

<Rant>

So, after class I was on my way home and listening to ABC talk radio as I normally do during the day. When the news at the top of the hour came on, I heard the following (which, I can't directly quote, so I will paraphrase):

The Hulk movie coming out on Friday could potentially influence kids to smoke. One of the characters, the army general ALWAYS has a cigar in his mouth. Whether it is lit or not, it is always in his mouth. This could influence kids that smoking is cool. Because of THIS, this movie should be rated R.

Just did a search and found a link to the actual story:

http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/080611/aqw030.html?.v=61

Alright... here we go. Bullet list time.

Personal/parental responsibility - Parents, do your fucking job, and parent. They are many many people with kids, and very, very few parents. If you see smoking in a movie, how about having a heart to heart with your kid about how smoking is bad. Tell them how grandma died from smoking. Whatever you tell them, MAKE SURE YOU TELL THEM. Stop putting the onus on raising your children on schools, TV, media, and the Internet. If you don't want to be a parent DON"T FUCKING HAVE CHILDREN!
Smoking?!?! Ok, so, the Incredible Hulk isn't about a young boy that takes a walk though a flower field and dreams happy thoughts. It's about a very tortured individual that has been genetically mutated by gamma radiation. He is not a happy person. He is not a stable person. He is a very violent person. If SMOKING is the worst thing that your retarded kid learns from this movie, good for you!
DON'T BRING YOUR STUPID ASS KIDS TO MOVIES THAT COULD POTENTIALLY TEACH THEM BAD THINGS. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?! IF YOUR KID DOES LEARN SOMETHING BAD FROM A MOVIE, IT IS YOUR FAULT, NOT THE MOVIE'S FAULT. TALK TO YOUR KIDS SO THEY DON'T GROW UP TO BE RETARDS LIKE YOU!

</Rant>

Ahhhh, I feel better now.

Worst. Service. Ever.

2008-06-10T08:13:00.001-05:00

Firstly, let me start by saying that yesterday's fast went really well. I would venture to say that it was the best one since we started this whole "eat stop eat" thing. I went to my class and taught my own, no problems. After 24 hours, my mind was clear, I wasn't terribly hungry, but, I was ready for some sustenance.

We went to Kerbey Lane, as we always do on Monday nights. We both have class until after 9pm, so it's usually the easiest thing to do. The only difference this night was that some friends from KF came along for the ride.

I'm going to progress this story in timeline format so you can see how ludicrous this is.

9:45pm - We arrive at Kerbey Lane. Request table.

10:00pm - Friends show up, we sit down at table.

10:05pm - We are all sitting around at the table waiting for someone to come over.

10:10pm or so - We order drinks, Ben orders queso.

10:15pm - nothing...

10:20pm - nothing...

10:22pm - Waters come... um... yaaay? Queso comes slightly after. We still have not ordered. At this point I have complained to a manager.

10:28pm - Our waiter prances past our table. We are still all drinking water. We have no yet ordered food. He doesn't say anything to us like "sorry it's taking a while". Nothing. Just a smug "I'm high as shit and I don't care" look at all of us.

10:30pm - V and I get up and leave. On the way out, I talk to the manager and say "I want you to know that we are leaving now and it is because this waiter let us sit at our table for almost a half an hour without ordering. If I DO come back here, I never want to sit in his section again". The manager's response is "OK I take care of him now". Whatever, we are going elsewhere.

You might think that I was in a "lipid fueled rage" (I owe Ryon $0.25 now) as I was coming off of a 24 hour fast, but, let me say that my mind was very clear and I was not feeling irritable. What follows most likely would have happened had I not been on a fast as well. The others at the table were equally as frustrated.

Here are some other random tidbits. He had 4-6 tables, all of which were not filled. The ones that were had 2 people at them. You are not "really busy", you are fucking retarded and need to not smoke weed before you come to work. I don't care what you do at your house. Kill yourself for all I care, but, when your stupid juvenile habit affects my night, we have a problem.

I notice these things. I worked in the service industry for about 8 years or so. I am very tolerant of people in the service industry b/c I know how much it sucks and the BS that you have to put up with on the daily.

For example, we went to Cheddar's for lunch last week. Our waiter dropped all of our food when he brought it out to our table resulting in a big crash. He apologize profusely. He was really trying. It was clearly his first or second day. I left him a larger than normal tip. I felt his pain.

This fucking hippie last night at Kerbey was the complete opposite. Every one of his tables was upset with him and he could not care less. He looked like he was high off his ass. He was slow as shit and couldn't keep up with the smallest workload. He should be fired. Had this been a one off incident, I would be more tolerant, however, this is not the first time we have had him as our waiter. Let's just say he is really consistent. There is no reason that dinner at a restaurant, a NOT EVEN BUSY restaurant should take almost 2 hours.

I have never stiffed a waiter. I have never walked out of a place, until last night. Had I stayed there for dinner, I would not have left him a tip. Yes, he was THAT bad. Victoria ordered a hot tea at 10:06pm and we didn't see it until he was on the way to the table with it as we were walking out at 10:30pm. Unacceptable. Go fuck yourself.

With regard to the manager's response of "OK, I take care of him". How's about taking care of the problem the first time I complain and not the second, third, fourth, or when I am walking out. Get back on the pickup truck with you "Kool" hat and "Garfield" shirt. You have no business managing a restaurant.

Starving, I made, probably not the best choice, and stopped at whataburger on the way home. I am almost ashamed to say it. It was, however, delicious as I had not had a burger from a fast food joint in almost 2 months. No biggie, I will compensate today.

Anyway, that's the end of the rant. Here's what's on the agenda today:

Have uverse installed.
Play with uverse.
Make cream of sorrel soup.
Work.
Make Wendy take pictures of her daybed. =)

Hell yea, Ross!

2008-06-09T16:32:00.001-05:00

I love this post. I don't even need to add any comments to it! Enjoy.

Fruit Doesn’t Need Fizz!

June 09th, 2008 | Category: Nutrition

I wasn’t happy when I found this story in my local newspaper.

Carbonation Gives Fruit A Fizz

Twenty Connecticut school districts (where I happen to live) are pushing a new Fizzy Fruit product to our children. As stated within the story above, Fizzy Fruit are pieces of apples, oranges, and grapes that have been pumped with carbonation to give them a soda taste. The food management contractor (Sodexho) who added these snacks to the menu hopes that “it will turn kids on to fruit.”

How did kids ever become turned off to fruit in the first place? My son is 2 years old. If you lined up 10 different foods, he’ll go for the fresh fruit every time. In his eyes, fruits such as strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and grapes are treats. There is no need to add carbonation to a fruit that is already a treat.

Go look at the junk food at your local grocery store. Many of the sweets are fruit flavored. Why do you think the food manufacturers choose fruit flavors? Simple answer, fruit tastes good (so the kids will like it) and seeing fruit in the label fools many parents into believing the snacks are healthy. Unfortunately, most of these fruit snacks are everything but healthy. Need an example? No problem…

Indiana Jones Fruit Snacks

Let’s look at the ingredients:

CORN SYRUP, SUGAR, APPLE PUREE CONCENTRATE, WATER, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, GELATIN, CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF CITRIC ACID, ASCORBIC ACID (VITAMIN C), NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, COLOR ADDED, COCONUT OIL, CARNAUBA WAX, YELLOW #5, RED #40, SODIUM CITRATE, BLUE #1.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that this snack is everything but natural.

Where do our kids go wrong? Why do we need to fool them with soda? Why are kids drinking soda anyway? Who buys the soda for these kids? Why don’t parents start leading from the front? Who does the shopping? Who makes the decisions?

My wife is involved with two mother’s groups with area kids. We’ve had several play groups in the last two years. All of the kids love fruit. The fruit platters never last long. It’s clear in my eyes that kids are naturally inclined to enjoy eating fresh fruit. Fresh fruit is a treat. Kids shouldn’t need to be fooled back into eating fruit. We as parents should be providing fresh fruit all along.

There is no soda in my home. Fresh fruit is a snack. It’s a treat for me, and it’s a treat for my son. My son has a long way to go before he’s doing his own grocery shopping. There won’t be any soda treats in this house.

It’s one thing to ignore sound nutritional advice when you are stuffing your own face, but it’s irresponsible when you do this to your own kids. No one is born with knowledge. Responsible parents need to make some time to learn the facts about sound nutrition.

I didn’t know anything about being a parent before my son was born. I read everything that I could however to learn as much as I could beforehand. The information is there if you take the time to look. The “I’m too busy” excuse is beyond old. News flash, we are all busy in today’s world. When it comes to raising our children, busy doesn’t cut it.

Ross

We are all doomed...

2008-06-09T11:07:00.001-05:00

I heard this on the radio and HAD to look it up to substantiate. The descends a bit further into shit today.

‘Brokeback Mountain’ to become opera in NYC

Show based on Annie Proulx story is scheduled to premiere in spring 2013

The Associated Press

updated 1:39 p.m. CT, Sun., June. 8, 2008

NEW YORK - The New York City Opera commissioned Charles Wuorinen to compose an opera based on “Brokeback Mountain,” the 1997 short story by Annie Proulx that became the basis for a 2005 movie that won three Academy Awards.

The opera is scheduled to premiere in spring 2013, City Opera said Sunday. It will be City Opera’s second Wuorinen premiere, following “Haroun and the Sea of Stories,” which was based on a Salman Rushdie novel and opened in October 2004.

“Ever since encountering Annie Proulx’s extraordinary story I have wanted to make an opera on it, and it gives me great joy that Gerard Mortier and New York City Opera have given me the opportunity to do so,” Wuorinen said in a statement.

“Brokeback Mountain” is a cowboy romance about two ranch-hand buddies who start a homosexual affair when they meet on the fictional mountain in 1963.

At the risk of sounding politically incorrect or not tolerant, this movie sucked. It really sucked. Aside from all of the gay sex, which, in my eyes was not a love story at all, this movie was just terrible. Why the FUCK would you go see it as an opera? Wow... there are flames coming out of my ears.

A very nice weekend and some random thoughts

2008-06-09T08:17:00.001-05:00

Well, my mother left yesterday to go back to NYC. It was really nice having her here. I am really looking forward to everyone moving here so that we can all be together again.

At any rate, back to business as usual today. There's lots of work ahead of me today. Also, this week, we are going to be fasting twice. I am looking forward to that. Last week, I learned the valuable lesson of not working out TOO hard when you are fasting. I won't make that same mistake this week.

Today marks 4 months together with Victoria. Quite an awesome 4 months if I must say so. I case any of you have no noticed, I am really happy! Most things in life seemed to have fallen into place. She is awesome. I love her.

I am really looking forward to the Bleach movie on Wednesday night. I have already seen it, but, still, there's nothing quite like seeing it on the big screen. I am not sure yet if it will be subbed or dubbed.

Weekend recap:

Friday - V GOT HER GREEN BELT! Mom cooked dinner, but then didn't feel so hot. Just hung out at night.
Saturday - Went to the Farmers Market on 4th with V, Mom, Wendy, and Nicky. Later in the day, we went to Ben's house for the next pancake theater. Mom decided not to go b/c she wasn't feeling well, so we ended up just staying for a little bit, then coming back home. We did have a good time while there. V got a ride on Tommy's new bike, we played some foosball, drank some smores milkshakes, and watched almost all of Metalocalypse season one. We stopped on the way and rented The Simpsons Movie, oh yeah... in glorious Blu-Ray. Nom nom nom.
Sunday - We took a trip to Macy's @ the Domain in the morning. We ordered some new bed stuff. It came on Saturday and we didn't like it. This trip was to return that stuff. We DID find something that we liked, but they didn't have it in the store. We ordered online. Also, we went out for lunch, mom's treat =). Finally, around 3pm, we took her to the airport, said our goodbyes, and parted ways for now. When we got home, Wendy and Nicky came over for a bit (only to get some rainbow cookies) and hung out with us. We spent the rest of the night doing not much of anything.

I know, my head is all over the place this morning. I guess I'm still sorta sleepy.

Catch you later.

The best part of wakin' up...

2008-06-06T09:06:00.001-05:00

... no, there was no Folgers in my cup this morning. There were these:

... all over my neighbors yard. Normally, I wouldn't care, except they all came from the garbage that I put out last night. Boxes are never a big deal to clean up, but tons of packing peanuts strewn about! Argh, not fun. Oh... and the grass was all wet? Fun, fun, and more fun...

So, in recap, the best part of waking up, is picking up your garbage that mother nature blew all over your neighbor's yard, not Folgers.

A very good Daily OM

2008-06-03T08:49:00.001-05:00

June 2, 2008
Aligning Actions And Words
Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Words carry a lot of weight in this world, from how we say them to what we say with them, but it is through our actions that we bring things into being. This is what we mean when we say to one another that actions speak louder than words. In many cases, what we say doesn’t necessarily line up with what we are doing, and it is here that it becomes clear that it’s easier to talk about doing something than it is to actually do something. At the same time, it’s easy to keep doing something that we don’t necessarily acknowledge ourselves doing verbally. It’s good for all of us to take a look every once and a while to make sure there is alignment between what we say and what we do.

For example, it’s easy to talk about our dreams, but it takes a lot more energy to take the many small steps that lead to bringing our dreams into reality. If all we ever do is talk about it, we begin to lose faith in ourselves because nothing changes on the external level. In this way, being all talk and no action is actually a form of self-sabotage. It’s also useful to examine our actions to see if, through them, we are following through on our words. For example, in expressing concern about the environment, we can look to make sure that we are taking the simple steps we can take to put that concern into action.

It’s always helpful to observe what we talk about and who we say we are, and then to observe what we actually do in the world. Sometimes we realize our actions haven’t caught up with what we are saying, and at other times we see that we might change our words in a way that it will more adequately reflect what we do in the world. Either way, the more we align our words and our deeds, the clearer we are in expressing our truth in the world, and the more powerful we are in bringing it into reality.

I don't think I need to comment on this one. How many people do YOU know that talk the talk, but don't walk the walk? I have met a few like this in my time thus far on the great planet. Eventually, their words mean nothing to you because their actions are virtually never there to back it up or they are constantly speaking in future possibilities i.e. "I really need to do this", "I really need to <x>".

Moral of the story: make your actions match your words, or don't bother saying them.

Yesterday's Fasting / Last Week Recap

2008-06-03T08:23:00.001-05:00

I know, I haven't written in a while, sorry.

I had sort of a hard time last night. I did really well for most of the day. Mostly, it was the typical hunger pangs that would soon go away. I just focused on drinking a lot of water.

I got to my school around 615. I told myself to take it a bit easy, but, I never listen. I started with some moderate jump rope while the kid's classes finished out. When they were done, I, like a raging lunatic covered almost every piece of material that I know at a quick pace.

After the above, I went to Ben's class, then taught my own. By the time I got to my class, I was feeling very tired, and a little weak, but overall still ok. I was really looking forward to going to Kirby Lane, as we always do on Monday night. The drive there was fine too.

Finally, we sat down on the outside patio. It was actually really nice. Then the cold sweat started. I am not quite sure as to what physiologically happened to me, but I felt light headed, nauseous, really hungry, but I didn't want to eat. Just overall, really bad.

I ordered a Hibiscus Fizz thinking some sugar might do me good. It didn't really. For food, I ordered the famous chicken verde omelette with canadian bacon and some wheat toast. The odd part was that I was REALLY looking forward to the toast, I guess because I wasn't feel well. I always associate an upset stomach with eating bland food like toast. Anyway... my food came out, my toast didn't. Damn you, you damn Kirby Lane hippy. I finished my omelette and bacon. The my toast finally came.

I got home and laid down. Finally, I felt better.

Interestingly enough, this morning, thinking I would be starving, I made a 3 egg omelette with peppers, mushrooms, tomato, and cheddar. I couldn't even come close to finishing it. I am hoping that my eating is starting to change.

It is really nice to be back in Austin. Last week, I went to the north east area for work. I got to see my family too, which is always a plus. It was a very hectic week. I flew in Tuesday arriving around noon, saw some clients, then finally got home around 9pm. The next morning I had to wake up early to be off to Long Island. After a full day there, we drove up to NH. You can see some pictures from this on my mobile blog.

After going to sleep close to 2am, we had to wake up at 8am to get to client #2 on time. We worked for most of the day and actually provided all of our deliverables (we had 2 days to do this). Leaving at 545pm or so, we went back to the hotel to relax a bit, then went to a restaurant called "The Library". I would highly recommend this place if you are ever in the Portsmouth area. I ordered an 8oz fillet mignon with with a wine and gorgonzola sauce that was delicious. We shared some sides.

After dinner, I took a walk (thank's to google maps on my phone) to what looked like the town square. Earlier in the day, I had previously emailed one of my former managers from <giant company> knowing that she lived in Portsmouth, to see if she wanted to meet up for a few just to say hi. You know, networking is important. I don't remember the name of the place that we went to, but it was right on the water and you could see Maine from where we were sitting. It was really nice. She was always my favorite manager. It was nice to see her.

The next day, we went in just until noon and then started the trip back to NYC. There were many engaging discussions that one might imagine people in a small business might get in to. Overall, it was a very productive trip.

I finally got back to my parents house around 8am, ate dinner, and subsequently, CRASHED.

Saturday was really nice. I woke up a little early and met Danielle & Lenny for breakfast @ Mike's Place on New Dorp Lane. Yum! I got to see their new house, which is VERY nice and then they brought me back to my parents house where I spent the rest of the day. My grandparents came over as well. All in all, it was a really nice day.

After dinner, we went to a different Mike's Place (this time on Arden Ave) for some coffee/dessert. Good times.

Sunday morning, I awoke to go back to the dreaded LaGuardia airport. I have to say, I was really surprised at how easy parking was. Additionally, check in was a breeze. I guess that is what you get when you have a flight early on Sunday morning. My flight from NYC -> Houston was fine and on time. My flight back to Austin we delayed for over an hour due to some part being broken on the place that needed to be replaced. Sucked, but, shit happens. I'm happy they found it BEFORE we took off =). Finally, around 6pm, I was back in Austin and with my V. I missed her a lot.

I will write some more later. I should probably do some work now...

Update

2008-05-23T12:06:00.001-05:00

I know, I know, I haven't written in a while.

The truth is, I have been working a lot, going to kung fu, spending time with Victoria, and when I sleep, I sleep like the dead, recently. And also, wtf is in the air??? My eyes have been itchy for like, a week now. Damn allergies.

So, if you read my previous post regarding IF, that is going well, so far. Granted my last post was only a few minutes ago, but regardless, it's still going well. I was about to do San He for my 1st time today, but then I heard my email and like the Pavlovian slave that I am, came running.

This weekend is shaping up to be busy and nice. If you read Victoria's blog you will see that, yes, she is indeed moving to live at my house with me. Yes, this is a big step. I know this and do feel that we are ready for it. To me, she is way different from any girl that I have ever dated and I have never known that this is what I want so freakin' fast. You know what they say though about opportunity or something. I'm too lazy to Google, but well, you have to take it when it comes.

At any rate, that will be happening gradually over the next month, so we won't be consumed with it all weekend. But, let's back up.

I was planning on going to class today, however, I am pretty effing sore from yesterday brown belt work. Also, I went back way to far on a rollover during warm ups, which caused my neck to make a noise that I hadn't heard in a while. My upper back is all sore and feels shitty. So does my right heel for some reason. I am a mess. Bleh...

Tonight, we are going to see the new Indiana Jones movie at the Alamo. That should be fun. I can't wait to eat =).

Tomorrow, I am not sure what we are doing during the day, but I will need to clean up a little bit to get my house ready for the next UFC PPV which is tomorrow. I am having some friends over to watch it. That is always a good time.

Sunday, we are going to move some of V's stuff over, particularly clothes and essentials.

Monday, we don't really have any solid plans, but I DO need to pack and get ready for my trip. My loose itinerary for next week is as follows:

Tuesday - Leave for NYC @ 720am out of Austin. Arrive @ LaGaurdia Airport or "Satan's Asshole, as I like to call it" (Dane Cooke) at around noon EST. Go to boss' house in NJ. Go home to parent's house in Staten Island.
Wednesday - Go to Long Island, work. Leave for Boston from LI.
Thursday - Work in Boston. Stay over.
Friday - Finish work in Boston. Go back home to parent's house in Staten Island.
Saturday - Stay in Staten Island, visit with family.
Sunday - Fly home to Austin.

IF

2008-05-23T11:19:00.001-05:00

(Intermittent Fasting)

So, I finally got to read the book "EatStopEat" and I loved it. I won't spoil all of the good parts (so you read it hehe), but what I really enjoyed the most was how the author (Brad Pilon) dispelled common myths and misconceptions about how fast effects the body. To date, I had subscribed to the common knowledge that, well, everyone else does.

Suffice it to say, I am going to be trying this theory out. Actually, I am trying it today. Victoria offered to try it with me which, I thought was really cool. So, we stopped eating at around 930pm last night. The next time I will be eating is at the Alamo Draft House tonight when we are watching Indiana Jones.

The basic idea behind this is as follows:

"Diets" or "eating plans" most often fail in the long term. Sure, in the short term, they might work really well. How many of you have tried the "South Beach Diet" or the "Abs Diet"? I have. I got pretty good results for the first couple of months, then pretty much said "fuck it, this is way too much work", and went back to whatever I was doing before I started.

FAIL.

Some of the myths/misconceptions that this book speaks to are:

the idea that fasting will kill your metabolism.
the idea that you will lose muscle mass from fasting.
that eating 6-8 times per day will "stoke" your metabolism.
why eating "plans" or "diets" typically fail once you extend the observation period.

The bottom line is that reading this book really made me think about some of the ideas that I have accepted as conventional wisdom. What I like even better is that the claims that are made are backed up by scientific studies and data. They are not just said and expected to be accepted. I would recommend this book to anyone, if nothing more than to just have some new ideas to think about in the health/nutrition arena.

It is currently 11:13am. I have not eaten anything since 9:30pm last night. Overall, I feel just fine. I do feel some pangs of hunger, but they come and go. I am trying to not think about it. Ultimately, I would like to be able to do this 2x/week.

Which brings me to talking about some things that I am doing to get ready for my next test.

Josh Hillis fighter workout which is 3x/week (starting on Monday).
Lots of jump rope.
Lots of form practicing.
San He Chuan 3x/day ( I am shooting for 3x/day, we shall see how that pans out ).

Anyway, to sum up, right now, I am about 205-210 depending on what day and what scale. As I move forward with the above AND with IF, I will post changes, if any.

She's F**king Obama...

2008-05-18T16:25:00.001-05:00

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

2008-05-13T10:39:00.001-05:00

For real???

2008-05-12T16:06:00.001-05:00

I would like to preface this post by saying that I absolutely LOVE my new job. I have learned more in the past few weeks regarding development than I think I did at my last job in a whole year.

The difference now, though, is dealing with small clients that have somewhat strange requests from time to time.

Case in point (sent in by a male, nonetheless):

Question.

One of my FAVORITE hobbies at work is checking on ticket availability at ticketmaster.com

However, this morning when I was trying like a mad man to get the BEST MADONNA tickets I possibly could, I think I “tried” too many times, and it seems ticketmaster blocked our IP address!

This has happened in the past, but only for like ten to fifteen minutes at a time. I have been unable to log in to ticketmaster for 4 hours and now I’m concerned. Especially because tomorrow morning, WHILE I HAVE TO BE HERE, more tickets are going on sale at 9am.

Some people have mentioned a program that resets your IP address for you, but I’m thinking that doesn’t sound like an option.

Any ideas on what I can do to sneak back on to ticketmaster.com

My 1st response:

Is this for real? We have help him get Madonna tickets??!?!?!

Then I sucked it up and actually responded:

A) I do not know if this substantiated. How would we know if Ticketmaster “temporarily blocks an IP address”? All I could really find on this topic is this article from Slashdot:

http://it.slashdot.org/it/07/10/07/2332237.shtml

B) If you were going to try and sneak back in, you would have to make the site think that you had a different IP. The only way that I know of to do that is to use a proxy. There are MANY ways to do this and they are as simple as a google search away. Here are some that might work:

FoxyProxy - http://foxyproxy.mozdev.org/ - Complete details for download setup on this site. This is a plug in for Firefox.

Proxy Changer - http://www.proxychanger.com/ - If you use IE…

Listing of available proxy servers: http://www.publicproxyservers.com/

I am not sure if this will work, however as I found this on Ticketmaster’s site:

Proxy Servers

Some online service providers, such as AOL or Prodigy, use a device called a proxy server. Proxy servers save copies of sites on their server rather than connecting users to the Internet or the specific site requested. In most cases this works fine.

Using a proxy server might prevent you from purchasing tickets because you need to access our ticketing system directly. If you do not know if you are accessing the Internet through using a proxy server, contact your Internet service provider.

Access Ticketmaster.com through a direct Internet connection and not through any service using proxy servers.

My recommendation would to calm down and try less. I don’t think we should be helping clients “sneak” back into web sites after they had been blocked due to what the site has deemed to be “malicious” or “questionable” use.

Pretty funny IMO. I should start a web site or something... like the Chronicles of George (go here if you have never been, it's hilarious).

Me Me MentaliTy...

2008-05-12T09:34:00.001-05:00

I thought I would go in reverse order with this one. Read the article first, then see comments below:

May 12, 2008
In The World And In Ourselves
Feeling Fed Up With Humanity

From time to time, we may all feel fed up with humanity, whether it's from learning about what's going on around the world, or what’s going on next door. There are always situations that leave us feeling as if people are simply not capable of behaving in a way that is coming from a place of awareness. Often it seems as if people are actually geared to handle things in the worst possible way, repeatedly. At the same time, none of us wants to linger in a judgmental mood about our own species. As a result, we might tend to repress the feelings coming up as we take in the news from the world and the neighborhood.

It is natural to feel let down and disappointed when we see our fellow humans behaving in ways that are greedy, selfish, violent, or uncaring, but there are also ways to process that disappointment without sinking into despondency. As with any emotional response, we honor our feelings by feeling them fully, without judging or acting on them. Once we've done that—and we may need to do it every day, as part of our daily self-care—we can begin to consider ways that we might help the situation in which humanity finds itself.

As always, we start with ourselves, utilizing our awareness of the failings of others to renew our own commitment to be more conscious human beings. We are all capable of the best and the worst that humanity has to offer, and remembering this keeps us in check, as well as allowing us to find compassion for others. We may find ourselves feeling compelled to serve people who are suffering injustices at the hands of other people, or we may begin to speak out when we see something that we don’t think is right. Whatever the case, the only thing we can do is pledge to serve the best, rather than the worst, of what humanity has to offer, both in the world, and in ourselves.

If you have read my postings in the past, you already know how I feel about this topic. I am, almost on a daily basis, disappointed, let down, disgusted with how people treat each other. Whether its across the globe or in my neighborhood, I am saddened to see the lengths that people will go to to hurt someone else.

I think a really big part of all of this is the "me" aspect of today's society. It seems that more and more people don't care about anyone other than themselves. As long as they are getting what they want, all is good in the world. This mentality makes me sick. There is a difference between looking out for yourself to take care of yourself versus stepping on whoever you need to get what YOU want.

Anyway...

I take this posting very much to heart as I always... ALWAYS try to consider what other people are feeling throughout daily life. "Will this action hurt someone?" ... "Will this action make someone happy?".... "Will this action make me happy without hurting someone else?"... these are all questions that I ask myself on a daily basis. Perhaps if people as a whole briefly considered these questions, even if it's only for a tiny amount of time during the day, the world would be a much better place.

... but then again... that probably won't happen. Yeah... we are still screwed.

Damn you... colors...

2008-05-11T19:25:00.001-05:00

So, if you know me, or have spoken to me lately, you probably know that I am on this web design kick. Frankly, I suck really bad at it and am trying to get better as the days go on. I just thought this was kind of funny and wanted to share. I did a search on Google for "designing websites for coders". One of the articles I am reading has this as it's opening paragraph... very "me":

If you're one of the people who spend most of their reading time skimming through Client and Server Side Coding articles, then you probably should read this article. Yes, you: the one with your code open full-screen in the other monitor. I'm a designer and I work at a hosting/ISP company in a room with four very talented Web programmers. Together, they can develop just about any kind of application, but not one of them could develop a harmonious color scheme if his life depended on it.

Again... very "me"....

Feeling MUCH better...

2008-05-09T11:45:00.001-05:00

So... as this title states, I am feeling A LOT better than I did last week. I was able to hit kung fu on 4 days this week too which makes me feel accomplished:

Monday - Golden Leopard / Snake followed by my class. Only one person showed up so I spent 1/2 of it teaching him and 1/2 of it finishing Kwon Dao (thanks Holly!).

Tuesday - Skip, too much work.

Wednesday Morning - Reviewed material.

Thursday - Reviewed ALL brown belt material with Sifu Matt.

Friday Morning - Conditioning w Sifu Bren.

I have also paid very close attention to eating better this week as far as much less processed items. I think that last weeks sluggishness was partly attributed to what I was eating and most likely not getting enough sleep.

At any rate, I have a lot of crap to do today, so I had better get back to it. However, before I go, one more bit of good news. Last night, Victoria interviewed for and got a new job. This place is right around the block from her house and is something that she is looking forward to doing. I am VERY happy for her. Way to go!! (I knew you were going to get it)

Have a great weekend!

This weekend...

2008-05-05T14:16:00.001-05:00

This blog won't be long. I have to get back to work, but wanted to at least do a quick recap.

Needless to say, I ended the week well, weak. Last week was rough for some reason. I was more tired that normal. Anyway... Here's the quick recap:

Friday: Victoria came over after work, we ate dinner, hung out, then went to see Ironman. It was good. I liked it.

Saturday: I pretty much lounged around during the day. When Victoria got home from class, we went down to the Pecan St. festival. Here are some pics:

Keepin' the hippies going in Austin...

Mustang Sally... this one's for you, Mom...

... after drinking a Strawberry Daq... cute red tongue!

Waiting for my not so awesome food...

Me, still waiting for my not so awesome food...

The not so awesome food...

Victoria's new earrings! Very cool...

Saturday night, we hung out with Nik, Sarah, and Dave. Drank some beer, played some rock band... it was fun.

Sunday, we basically hung around for most of the day, but then around 4pm left to go see a play called "Speed the Plow". One of Victoria's friends from work was in it and was actually really good. It was about 1h30m long and only had 3 actors. I was pretty impressed with it.

The rest of the night was spent relaxing in preparation for this busy week to come.

K... back to work... bye for now!

Whoa... cool...

2008-05-04T10:56:00.001-05:00

I want this:

What the...

2008-05-02T09:07:00.001-05:00

I have felt like utter crap this week. Chewed up and spit out. I am not sure if it's the whole "getting back to class" thing or what, but I have had no energy and have not woken up any day feeling rested and ready for the day. More like, I have woken up feeling like I had been doing calisthenics or something all night. I am achy and tired.

My back finally feels almost better. It has been sore since Tuesday. I can finally bend more than 20 degrees without saying "aaaaaahhhhhhhh". This week I have found myself finding reasons to not go to class. Does my body just need the rest? From what??? This morning I woke up and said, "I think I should not do anything tonight"... but that's what I did LAST NIGHT! Maybe I will take a nap today and see how I feel after that.

I have been working a lot.

I have been working on a lot of training. Particularly at this moment, I am about 1/2 done with Flex3 training on Lynda.com. I am also trying to find out all I can about Microsoft Dynamics. If you know anything about that, I would love to hear it.

I love my new job.

Last night, I was telling V about some of the cool features of Flex3 and she just told me that it was nice to see me so animated and excited about something. It was then that I told her what I had been feeling since I started this new job. I AM excited about what I am learning. I was never happy after coming home after a day at <previous company>.

Granted, I am working a hell of a lot more than I did at <previous company> but, I love all this stuff and I feel like my employee marketability is coming back. It's like my brain had been dormant since October of 2004.

Back to Flex3 training... later.

Life these days...

2008-04-29T08:53:00.001-05:00

Life these days is really good for me. I have been really happy and things have been going really well.

Last night I started going back to kung fu as I have been sort of flaky lately due to the new job and other events like the trip to Mississippi last weekend.

I got to school early and went through almost every form that I know just to be sure that I still know them =). Turns out I do.

Leopard class was really good. We finally finished the second road and I got an introduction to the 5th section of snake pakua. I love that stuff.

I am now looking at my schedule. I need to readjust is as I need to focus more on my 1st brown belt material for my test in August. I am maybe 1-2 weeks behind. It's not really a big deal, but I HATE being behind!

Other than kung fu, things with Victoria are awesome. She continue to show me every day what an awesome, caring, thoughtful person she is. I really got lucky with this one and I don't plan on letting it go.

Ok, I should actually do some work now =).

Bye!

Oh please...

2008-04-29T08:47:00.001-05:00

So I was driving this morning and I heard a commercial on the radio:

"High school is hard. Graduating is <pause> harder."

... I don't remember the rest. I stopped listening after that one sentence. Technically, I didn't stop listening. Technically, I couldn't hear the commercial anymore as the words "are you serious?? are you fucking serious?!?!?!" were playing over and over in my head.

High school is... HARD?!?!??! I can think of many things that high school was... "hard" is not one of the words that comes to mind. Basic high school, save AP classes and anything outside of the basic curriculum is not by any means, hard.

Hey fella, I went to high school. I don't recall it being all that bad. I am about to give you some gems o' wisdom. Get ready to have you minds blow with my 3 STEP PLAN TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL:

1) Go.

2) Pay attention, somewhat.

3) Graduate.

... there you go. If you go to high school, and sit in the building for 8 hours/day (you DONT even have to go everyday, but shhh) and just kinda watch what the teacher is doing, you have a pretty good fucking chance of passing this particular class.

"What about homework? I don't want to do homework!"... well kid, I don't want to pay taxes, but you know what? I don't want to go to jail. Do you want to go to jail? Then go to fucking school, do you homework and stop whining.

Tell your friends / homies / bloods / crips / gang of any denomination / amigos / crew / posse / girlfriend / boyfriend / <whoever you hang out with> that you will see them in just a little while b/c you have some learnin' to do. They will call you names, but, when you are making a lot more money than them, you can call them whatever you want from your really nice house. You can even do a drive by insulting as I'm SURE your car, that you can afford b/c you sat in a building for 8 hours a day for 4 years and sorta stared towards the front of the room, can outrun theirs.

I don't know if I am getting older or if kids are getting worse. Maybe it's a little bit of both. I find that, these days, the majority kids do not know what it means to struggle for anything, or to achieve anything unless it's getting to level 65 in some video game. Hey, just so you know, that video game experience, doesn't ACTUALLY transfer to REAL LIFE experience, retard.

Kid: "Mom, this homework is too hard".

Mom: "Wow, I'm going to go have a word with your teacher tomorrow to get this homework difficulty reduced. How's that son? Oh, and don't forget your ritalin!"

How's about this... why don't you sit down with your little pile of shame and try to help them? Oh, you can't remember how to do this stuff? Well guess what, neither does the majority of America, but you know what? School has blessed you with the skill of reading. Put down the beer/crack/heroine/weed/acid/schrooms/X and help this poor thing that you have brought into the world. Make him/her a better person than you were. THEY NEED YOUR HELP.

Still, I am pretty sure that we are fucked....

Two Videos

2008-04-24T16:09:00.001-05:00

These are 2 videos that you MUST watch. They are a bit long, but well worth the time spent. Wake up, people!

1) Money As Debt - Paul Grignon's 47-minute animated presentation of "Money as Debt" tells in very simple and effective graphic terms what money is and how it is being created. It is an entertaining way to get the message out. The Cowichan Citizens Coalition and its "Duncan Initiative" received high praise from those who previewed it. I recommend it as a painless but hard-hitting educational tool and encourage the widest distribution and use by all groups concerned with the present unsustainable monetary system in Canada and the United States.

2) Zeitgeist (I recommend torrenting this one)- Zeitgeist, produced by Peter Joseph, was created as a nonprofit expression to
inspire people to start looking at the world from a more critical perspective and to understand that
very often things are not what the population at large think they are. The information in Zeitgeist
was established over a year long period of research and the current Source page on
this site lists the basic sources used / referenced and the developing Interactive Transcript includes
exact source references and further information. A Q & A page is also being developed.

Dear former job...

2008-04-23T13:25:00.001-05:00

We need to talk.

Look, it's not you, it's me. Well... maybe it's somewhat you too.

Things started off really well. You were really popular. Everyone told me that you were the way to go. I believed them. I RELOCATED for you. Do you know how big that is?? I uprooted my ENTIRE life, lost my girlfriend... all for you.

We had some really good times. You let me be myself for a little while and you let me thrive and get a lot of stuff done. I learned a lot of stuff that was really helpful to me within the context of my work with you. I really appreciate that.

You told me you cared about my career. You told me that I was in control. I believed you.

Things started going downhill.

We were together, I would say, oh, about 2 years at the time. I was getting antsy and feeling ready for a change. I let you know about this and you told me that I would have to wait. What? I thought I was in control of my career. Hmmm.. ok, I'll let that one slide. Former job 1, me 0.

You let me talk to others within about the possibility of working with them. I soon found out that you lied. You LIED to me, former job. I started to see that all of the skills that you had taught me were absolutely WORTHLESS outside your warm and fuzzy context. Nobody cared about what I had learned during my time with you. They would look at my resume and say "great, what else do you know?".

So, I did what I could do, oh, former job. I moved departments within you thinking that things would get a lot better. I could use all of this useless information you had made me acquire over the past 2.5 years and perhaps thrive and grow some more. Things were actually great for the first few weeks. How happy I was to not deal with those retards on the phone all day. "Hi, how do I add numbers with code?"... please go die now. This happiness, however, was short lived.

Again, former job, you were right, and I was wrong. Former job 2, me, 0.

I was optimistic. The management structure seemed awesome. The job seemed like it was engaging and fun. Damnit... again, I was wrong. You 3, me, 0.

You gave me no training whatsoever on this new task. You basically said, "hey, you pretty much know what you're doing, right? whatever, go for it, I got shit to do...oh, and read this 600 page architectural document from 12 years ago..."

Um... ok, former job, that isn't cool. I thought we were friends?

As a result of your "non interventionalist" approach to my working for you, I left work almost everyday feeling like a frustrated, moronic, retarded, stoopid. I wanted to put my fist through something every fucking day that I left you. On top of this feeling of frustration and useless that I got all day, everyday, I also had people complaining and bothering me to work on the things that hey had submitted. Sure, I didn't have enough grief, just pile that on too. I can take it. I'm like a dump truck for annoyances and complaints.

Things started out so great. What has happened?!?!? What has become of us? How did it get to this point, former job?

Well, former job, I will tell you. You are VERY good and giving people the illusion that you care. You are VERY good at making people think that you actually care about their careers and their personal development. I see now, in hindsight, that this is all straight bullshit. That's right former job, you can't fool me anymore. My shroud o' ignornace has been lifted.

When you don't:

let people do what makes them happy...
let people move to a new position when they feel it is time (given a reasonable stint in current position)...
let people know that what they do is important...
let people know that their efforts in working 60 hours a week at times don't go unnoticed...
allow people to learn relevant a pertinent skills to the marketplace...
train people on the stuff that is critical to their job yet expect them to continue to produce...

... PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO WANT TO "HANG IN THERE" AND STAY THE COURSE WITH YOU.

You can have the nicest managers, the best benefits, and even unlimited sick days. I LOVED the managers that you gave me, former job. I LOVED the flexibility that you provided me. I LOVED the unlimited sick days that you gave me. In spite of all this...

...I am leaving you.

You will not miss me, I know, and, the feeling is mutual. Just know, that it's for the best, for both of us.

And by the way your score, no longer matters. Bite me, former job. Me, 9,000,000,000, you nothing.

See you around.

Chicken Spaghetti

2008-04-23T12:27:00.001-05:00

MMMmmmmm....

Chicken Spaghetti

From Diana Rattray,
Recipe Feedback:

Chicken spaghetti recipe with Cheddar and tomatoes with chile peppers.

INGREDIENTS:

6 cups chicken; cooked, cubed

1 package vermicelli spaghetti (7 to 8 oz)

2 large bell peppers, chopped

2 pounds onions, chopped

2 celery stalks, chopped

8 ounces sliced mushrooms

1/2 cup butter

2 cans Rotel tomatoes, diced (approx. 10 oz each)

2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

1 pound Cheddar cheese, grated

PREPARATION:

Cook and season chicken. Save 1-1/2 quarts broth. Cook spaghetti in broth; drain, but do not rinse. In dutch oven or heavy pan saut&eacute pepper, onion, celery and mushrooms in butter. Add tomatoes.

Simmer for about 15 minutes to let the flavors blend. Add spaghetti, chicken and cheese. Let simmer for another 15 or 20 minutes until cheese melts and everything is bubbly.

In Mississippi!

2008-04-19T21:30:00.000-05:00

(I wrote this on 4.19.2008, but couldn't post it until today)

We are in Mississippi!

The trip yesterday was pretty good. We ended up leaving a bit later than planned, but we still got here at the time that Victoria had predicted.

Overall, the road trip was pretty uneventful. We stopped twice - once for breakfast and once for gas and lunch. Although I was somewhat restless by the end, it went by pretty quickly.

We got to Philadelphia around 530pm. After a brief tour through the town, we arrived at Victoria’s father’s house where I met her father, step mother, her brother and one of his brothers friends. When we arrived, her brother (who is 11) was riding around on the motor cross track that his father built for him. It was pretty cool to see.

After visiting with them for a bit, we left to go to Victoria’s Granny’s house. This house is on 140 acres, which is, to be honest, unfathomable for me as:

a) I have no concept of how big an actual acre is.

b) I grew up in New York City. There is no such thing as an acre. We deal in sq. ft.

Anyway, she was very nice and cooked us one of Victoria’s favorite dinners called “Chicken Spaghetti”. This is something that I had never heard of, but will soon be trying to learn how to make. It was delicious. The dinner was accompanied by some delicious sweet tea. Also a first for me.

The dinner was followed by your choice of:

a) Cornflake candy – also delicious.

b) Coconut cake – holy crap.

c) Caramel cake – I didn’t taste this as, well, I just couldn’t eat anymore.

After dinner, we left and came back to her dad’s place. We ended up going to sleep around 930 or 10. We were both shot.

I woke up this morning and thought it was 10am, when in fact, it was only 630am. I guess that is what going to sleep early will do for you.

Today’s agenda will include going to eat some Greek food for lunch at a place called Keifer’s with Victoria’s other set of grandparents. Then after some visiting, we will go to her friend’s wedding.

See ya!

New Mobile Blog

2008-04-14T11:28:00.001-05:00

With my sweet BJ2, I am starting a mobile blog. There is a link available in the links menu, but if you are lazy, like me, here you go:

http://bgoldsteinmobile.blogspot.com

Holy crap...

2008-04-12T19:55:00.001-05:00

Scary? Awesome? Scary-awesome? You decide. I don't know yet...

They know what they are talking about...

2008-04-11T08:18:00.001-05:00

Another OM... they keep posting really good ones.

April 11, 2008
Fluid Like a River
Living Like Water

The journey of water as it flows upon the earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. Water begins its residence on Earth as it falls from the sky or melts from ice and cascades down a mountain into a tributary or stream. In the same way, we come into the world and begin our lives on Earth. Like a river that flows within the confines of its banks, we are born with certain defining characteristics that govern our identity. We are born in a particular time and place, into a specific family, and with certain gifts and challenges. Within these parameters, we move through life, encountering many twists, turns, and obstacles along the way—just as a river flows.

Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility. When a river breaks at a waterfall, it gains energy and moves on. As we encounter our own waterfalls, we may fall hard, but we always keep going. Water can inspire us not to become rigid with fear or hold fast to what is familiar. Water is brave and does not waste time clinging to its past but flows onward without looking back. At the same time, when there is a hole to be filled, water does not flee from it, fearful of the dark; instead, it humbly and bravely fills the empty space. In the same way, we can face the dark moments of our life rather than running away from them.

Eventually, a river will empty into the sea. Water does not hold back from joining with a larger body, nor does it fear a loss of identity or control. It gracefully and humbly tumbles into the vastness by contributing its energy and merging without resistance. Each time we move beyond our individual egos to become part of something bigger, we can try our best to follow the lead of the river.

Not feeling great...

2008-04-10T10:03:00.001-05:00

I am not sure what has been up with me lately. I am just not feeling good. Not sick or anything, just physically tired and drained.

For the past week or so, I have been feeling this way... tired... sore... all I really want to do physically is lay in bed. Maybe it's the weather, I don't know. Maybe I just need to not do anything at all for a week or so.

Yesterday, I tried to go to class in the morning. I didn't feel good on the way, and honestly, I should have just gone home, but I went anyway. I got through 45 min of class then had to stop b/c I was feeling, well, not good. I did get the rest of SeaDragon Cane though, so it wasn't a total bust. 2 out of 5 down for the black belt test in August.

My grandparents are here visiting. I have been having fun with them. I think they are having a good time too.

Whoa...

2008-04-08T09:59:00.001-05:00

If you ever thought you were strong, watch this... amazing...

The OM's keep a comin...

2008-04-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

I have thought about this many times. I am sure that all of us see many people through out the day where you just kind of shake your head and say..."wow... you don't get it all, do you?". Interesting read...

April 7, 2008
People Who Don’t Get It
Compassion for All
You may be someone who understands the true nature of reality, perceiving deeply that we all emanate from the same source, that we are all essentially one, and that we are here on Earth to love one another. To understand this is to be awakened to the true nature of the self, and this understanding is a blessing. Nevertheless, people who just do not get it are seemingly everywhere and, often, occupy positions of power. It can be frustrating and painful to watch them behave unconsciously.

We all encounter individuals such as this in our families, at work, and in all areas of public life. It is easy to find ourselves feeling intolerant of these people, wishing we could be free of them even though we know that separation from them is an illusion.

It helps sometimes to think of us all as different parts of one psyche. Within our own hearts and minds we have dark places that need healing, just as the heart and mind of the world have their dark places. The health of the whole organism depends upon the relative health of the individuals within it. We increase harmony when we hold on to the light, not allowing it to be clouded by judgment, anger, and fear about those who behave unconsciously. It is easier to accomplish this if we don’t focus on the negative qualities of individuals and instead on how increasing our own light will increase that of the overall picture.

When dealing with people who seem very unconscious, it helps to remember that everyone must find their own way to awakening, and that the experiences they are having are an essential part of their process. Holding them in the glow of our energy may be the best way to awaken theirs. At the same time, we are inspired by their example to look within and shed light on our own unconscious places, sacrificing the urge to judge and surrendering instead to humble self-inquiry.

Weekend Recap...

2008-04-06T23:00:00.000-05:00

This was a really nice weekend. Allow me to recap:

Friday - A pretty uneventful work day, but, since I did work at home, I got a chance to get a killer work out in at the fit forge (my garage). This workout consisted of:

Jump Rope: 5m / 4m / 3m / 2m / 1m / 30s / 15s / 30s / 1m / 2m = 19m, 15s

Tabata Set:

Heavy Bag
Wood choppers with a medicine ball
Crunches / Reverse Crunches
That thing where you hold the plate in front of your chest then move it around the back of your head.
Jar holding

After finishing work, I shaved my head with Victoria's help:

... hilarious... I'm keeping it... for now...

That night, Victoria and I ate dinner at home, then went over to Shooter's for a few to play some pool. It was a fun time. I hadn't done that in a while.

Saturday, was a day filled with errands in preparation for my grandparents coming to visit. I don't really remember a whole lot from yesterday, but I did get caught up on some laundry as well as some Ratchet and Clank for the PS3... very fun game.

We went to pick my grandparents up at 7pm, which was when their plane landed. Nice how that works out. After getting them, we stopped to get a bite to eat, then came home and chilled out for the rest of the night.

Today (Sunday), we slept in a little, got up, ate breakfast. We did a lot of hanging around today. I was supposed to go meet my friend Jose to talk about a project that we are working on, but that didn't work out. Anyway... we ended up going to HEB to grab some groceries, then over to Home Depot. My grandfather was very gracious to buy me some stones for my flowerbeds in the front of the house. They look nice. I will post some pics when I take some.

On a good suggestion from Ryon, I also picked up some parts from Home Depot to build these:

http://www.rosstraining.com/articles/wheel.html

Here's the video... insane:

All in all, they cost around $25 for BOTH!!! I tried them after I made them... I have a lot of work to do to get even close to this dude, or... well... anyone who is competent with these things. Whoa... ab pain... whoa...

Also, him and my grandmother cooked some arroz con pollo...mmmm.... for your gringos, that means "rice with chicken". After eating that, we did some more hanging out. And, here I am... laying in bed, 1/2 watching ATHF, 1/2 blogging.

Looking forward, this coming week is my last at my current employer. I will be sure to post some more regarding my feelings on this topic. Unfortunately, being that this is a public forum, I can't really speak or write what I really want to. It will be a good one... I promise = ) ... stay tuned.

Another DailyOM...

2008-04-04T09:32:00.001-05:00

Read it... this is a good one:

April 4, 2008
Permission To Forgive Ourselves
Releasing Guilt

Learning to accept the things that we perceive as wrong can be a difficult task for many of us. Often we have been brought up to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about our actions and that by doing so we will make everything seem alright within ourselves. Even though we might feel that we have a reason to make up for the choices we have made, it is much more important for us to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and positive way, such as through forgiveness and understanding.

When we can look back at our past and really assess what has happened, we begin to realize that there are many dimensions to our actions. While feeling guilty might assuage our feelings at first, it is really only a short-term solution. It is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out. If we truly are able to gaze upon our lives through the lens of compassion, however, we will be able to see that there is much more to what we do and have done than we realize. Perhaps we were simply trying to protect ourselves or others and did the best we could at the time, or maybe we thought we had no other recourse and chose a solution in the heat of the moment. Once we can understand that dwelling in our negative feelings will only make us feel worse, we will come to recognize that it is really only through forgiving ourselves that we can transform our feelings and truly heal any resentment we have about our past.

Giving ourselves permission to feel at peace with our past actions is one of the most positive steps we can take toward living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more we are able to remind ourselves that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy we will experience in all aspects of our lives.

This OM just makes me think of some things that I learned from reading "Way of the Peaceful Warrior":

- You have no control over your emotions as they will come and go like the weather. You can only control your actions regardless of what your emotions may tell you. "Being emotional" is not an excuse for not doing the right thing.

- Every decision you make is the right decision for you at the time that you make it. Whether you choose option A, B, or C, you will be lead down a path that will lead to wisdom. Honor that path as you can always learn from it.

- Do not stress over things that you cannot control. Everything happens for a reason whether the reason is obvious or not. I have seen this time and again in my own life. Things that I thought were horrible at the time turned out to be some of the best things that ever happened to me in retrospect.

- Life will present you with lessons as you travel along on your way. If you do not see them and learn from them, the lessons will become more severe until you are forced to see them. Pay careful attention to yourself; the way you react to things and the decisions you make. Be honest with yourself about why you do the things that you do. Look at your life from a third party perspective and analyze trends in your life: what kinds of partners do you pick? what kinds of decisions do you make with regard to your job?

In looking at this point, I found a particular trend in the kinds of partners I was picking to be with. I never realized it until recently, after my last break up.

Up until this point, almost every girl I had picked to be a girlfriend (with 1 or 2 exceptions) had been a girl that I felt needed to be taken care of and mostly came from a broken or unstable home. I won't go into any more detail as this is a public forum, but, and interesting trend indeed.

Because of this recognition, I feel that I was able to make a more informed choice, if you will, this time around. VIctoria is very different from most other girls I have been with. Her caring for my feelings, what I want, how I feel, astounds me. I thought that quality in women was pretty much dead. Indeed, it is a rarity, and I am happy that I have found it. I love her to death.

At any rate, I digress. If any of the 3 of you that read this blog haven't read that book, I highly recommend it. It can have it's somewhat cheesy parts, but overall there is a good deal of things anyone can learn from it.

Have a nice weekend!!

Go to hell, Hillary Clinton

2008-03-30T11:05:00.001-05:00

Taken from Health & Nutrition by Michael R. Eades, M.D.:

Another example of the difficulty in resolving cognitive dissonance from today’s Wall Street Journal:

What, really, is Mrs. Clinton doing? She is having the worst case of cognitive dissonance in the history of modern politics. She cannot come up with a credible, realistic path to the nomination. She can’t trace the line from “this moment’s difficulties” to “my triumphant end.” But she cannot admit to herself that she can lose. Because Clintons don’t lose. She can’t figure out how to win, and she can’t accept the idea of not winning. She cannot accept that this nobody from nowhere could have beaten her, quietly and silently, every day. (She cannot accept that she still doesn’t know how he did it!)

She is concussed. But she is a scrapper, a fighter, and she’s doing what she knows how to do: scrap and fight. Only harder. So that she ups the ante every day. She helped Ireland achieve peace. She tried to stop Nafta. She’s been a leader for 35 years. She landed in Bosnia under siege and bravely dodged bullets. It was as if she’d watched the movie “Wag the Dog,” with its fake footage of a terrified refugee woman running frantically from mortar fire, and found it not a cautionary tale about manipulation and politics, but an inspiration.

Most of you who know me know that I am mostly apathetic when it comes to politics. I believe that the outcome has already been decided and that we sheople have nothing to do with who is actually "elected" to be the next president of this fine, fine country. However... please, please, for the love of god, do not let this righteous cunt become president.

"But she has a federal healthcare program that will cover all American's"... right.. and you will wait forever for baseline care, at best. Oh... while paying out your ass in taxes. The fucking money for federal programs has to come from SOMEWHERE, people. Oh, and when they raise taxes, they don't ask you how much you would like to contribute.

We are fucked... and not in the good way. This country is being destroyed from the inside out and it's not going to get any better unless, the retards of America wake up and see what is under their noses...

Go here....

Feh

2008-03-11T14:49:00.001-05:00

So, after a few months of really trying to enjoy my work, I have fallen back into the general "working for the weekend" or "do as little as you can do to not get noticed" mentality. I know what you are thinking "oh no, not another whiny, complaining blog entry about how much Bryan doesn't like working". No, my friend, not this time.

My general gripe is the lack of feeling of accomplishment/satisfaction that I experience on a daily basis. To put it really short and sweet, I was out sick yesterday (I should be today too, but am not) and I feel like I got the same amount accomplished as if I would have gone into the office and "worked". I suppose what I am saying is that my current work experience leaves me feeling empty and borderline ashamed by the end of the day.

I go to work everyday pretty much knowing that I am going to spend most of the twiddling my thumbs and being really confused while more people ask for more shit from me. The biggest problem that I feel is that I really just straight up don't care about the technology that my job entails which, by the domino affect, makes me not want to learn anything regarding said technology to become better at my job.

It's a vicious cycle and I really feel like I need to get out.

Some would say that you work for what you do after work. Meaning, I suffer during the day and do what I want at night and on the weekend. Why should it have to be like that? Why should I have to endure despising what I toil on from 8am-5pm? Why is that I have to feel embarrassed when I tell people where I work? Why is it that I have to force myself to do the smallest amount of work? Why is it that I have to spend all day not having a clue as to what I am doing nor caring that I have no clue as to what I am doing?

Another thing that really bothers me is the antiquated technology that I "use" in my current incarnation. For every unit of time that I spend there, I feel that I am becoming more and more out of touch with what the real world is using to get things done. Who the fuck is still using C?

The culture and mentality makes me sick. Creativity and "innovation" are not fostered. Well... outwardly they are, but good luck with your ideas. They will go into the void. Make sure you work your 60 hours a week on ... well, who the fuck knows and just keep pluggin' away. Oh, and did I mention to keep your head down while you do that so you don't see the rest of the world advancing around you? Yeah, do that too. The "cover your ass" mentality has really gotten to me. I do it, and I hate the fact that I do. I will give people answers just so they s.t.f.u and leave me the hell alone. I only help those that scream the loudest.

Clearly, I am disgruntled. Nothing I do at this place matters.

Maybe change will come soon. I am hoping.

The OM's keep comin...

2008-03-11T09:40:00.001-05:00

I got this one today:

March 11, 2008
Nothing Big Required
You Are Enough
Most of us have the feeling that we are here to accomplish something big in our lives, and if we haven’t done something that fits the bill we may feel as if we are waiting. We may feel incomplete, or empty, as if our lives don’t yet make sense to us, because they don’t line up with our idea of major accomplishment. In some cases, this may be because we really are meant to do something that we haven’t yet done. But in most cases, we can let ourselves off the hook with the realization that just being here, being ourselves, is enough.

As we live our lives in this world, we share our energy and our spirit with the people around us in numerous ways. Our influence touches their lives and, through them, touches the lives of many more people. When we strive to live our lives to the fullest and to become our true selves, we are doing something big on an inner level, and that is more than enough to make sense of our being here on this planet at this time. There is no need to hold ourselves to an old idea in the back of our minds that we need to make headlines or single-handedly save the world in order to validate our existence.

We can each look within our hearts to discover what is true for us, what gives our lives meaning, and what excites us. We can release ourselves from any pressure to perform that comes from outside of our inner sense of purpose. Staying in tune with our own values and living our lives in tune with our own vision is all we need in order to fulfill our time here. Our lives are a process of becoming so that we cannot help but co-create; being who we are, responding to each moment as it comes, we can trust that this is enough.

I liked this one very much. So many people search for purpose and spend their entire lives wondering what they are "supposed" to do when what they should be doing is "just being".

101 now posted!

2008-03-07T10:46:00.001-06:00

I have finally posted my 101 list. I have linked it in the "linx" section. I will start posting there regarding my 101 progress.

Over and out...

Some good advice...

2008-03-07T09:52:00.001-06:00

I read this this morning and loved the advice. I thought I would share it:

Do you want magical fat loss? Here are five tips.
1.) Sleep an extra hour per night. The hormonal response produced from getting the sleep that you really need, is truly magical.
2.) Eat breakfast. When you break your night long starvation and feed yourself with the food that you need, it boosts your metabolism.
3.) Keep a workout log. Track how often you are really getting in to the gym, and how much stronger you are really getting.
4.) Keep a food log. Track the number of meals that you eat each week that are unprocessed, whole food, and have protein. Track the number of meals you eat that are crap. Make sure you have good food at least 80% of the time. Ideally 90%.
5.) Repeat steps 1-4. They are the things you should be doing anyway. Magical results come from doing the basics correctly, and with consistency.

See the full article here (I strongly recommend RSS'ing this blog if you do RSS stuff):

Magical Fat Loss Green Tea? Is this for real?

Awesome weekend...

2008-02-25T08:55:00.001-06:00

I know, I know, the title says "awesome weekend", but I am going to go back a little bit to Wednesday because, I think that is where the streak of awesome days happened.

Wednesday - Worked sucks, but after work, my softball team won (bringing out record to 1-1) with a score of 23-8. It was a good old fashion beat down.

Thursday - Speaking of beat downs, I passed my test into 1st brown belt. 6 more months and I'll be testing for 1st black. I can't wait. I did pretty well on the sparring portion as well = ).

Friday - Conditioning class was rough this week. In fact, it's rough every week. Friday was a rather stressful day at work. I ended up leaving a little bit later than I had wanted to, but I avoided having to work over the weekend which was really all I cared about. After work, Victoria and I just chilled out at my place, ate dinner, watched a movie, and fell asleep.

Saturday - I want to my first Shaolin tournament. I participated in every even that I was able to except open forms. I didn't know there was an "open forms" event. I would have done 1st road of Golden Leopard had I had known... anyway. I took 1st place in 1st Brown level forms and 3rd in Chen tai chi. You might be thinking "3rd, that's not so hot". Well, when your competition is Sifu Paul and Sifu Mikey Tran, both guys that have been doing this way longer than I have, 3rd is something to be very proud of.

My sparring sucked ass this weekend. I was really not happy with it at all. Although I got some good hits in, I did not win any of my matches. One of my friends told me that I wasn't myself and I agree. I guess it was just an off sparring day. Oh well, can't win em' all.

Master Joe gave a talk about sparring techniques to use to basically "unfocus" the mind on being so fixed on the "if he does this, I do that" strategy. I wish I would have heard that before my sparring matches = ). It's stuff that I had heard already but always like to be reminded of.

In light of my crappy sparring and Master Joe's talk. I am starting to incorporate Open Focus back into my daily routine of things. If you see me on a regular basis and know me, please bug the shit about me about open focus. Thank you.

The best part of the tournament though, was being there with all of my friends and some who I consider family. I cannot express what great things have come from this school and this thing that we all do together. It was great to be part of the competition, but it's also great to cheer your friends on and see what awesome things they too have accomplished. There are lot's of pictures and I will post them... AS SOON AS PEOPLE SEND THEM TO ME.

After the tournament was all over, I went over a party at Victoria's place. It was small, but a lot of fun. I stayed over there that night.

Sunday - I went to Target to get some new stuff for the guest bathroom as it was looking pretty bare. After that, I got a bug up my ass to get a new bed set. I went to 6 freakin' places and didn't see anything that I liked. I think that I may have to turn to the info tubes for this one.

When I got home, I just did some stuff around the house like laundry, cleaning, vacuuming. Victoria came over and we hung out for a bit, then I went to the Black Belt Banquet at Dave & Busters. That was a lot of fun. It was really awesome to spend the evening with people that I not only work out and train with but admire and look up to.

Master Joe put together a short video about his history in this art. It was so great to see him as a younger guy in sparring matches, in competitions, doing forms, and just really doing what we are all doing now. It was a really fun night.

When I got home, Victoria was there just chillin ( she stayed at my place when I went to the BBB ). We just chilled for the rest of the night and eventually fell asleep.

Not to kill the mood or anything, but... now, I'm ... at... work... feh. The cycle begins anew. The only thing keeping me going is the new leopard class that starts tonight (aww yea...).

No more security

2008-02-12T07:11:00.001-06:00

Good news everyone!!! I have removed the security from my blog, so if you were having problems RSSing it, you shouldn't anymore.

Today's OM

2008-02-12T07:07:00.001-06:00

Do you know a complainer? I know a few, and am one myself at times. I liked this article, so I thought I would post it.

February 12, 2008
Tearing Down To Rebuild
Rethinking Complaining
We all know someone who has elevated the process of complaining to a high art. Sometimes funny, sometimes exhausting, these people have the ability to find a problem just about anywhere. In its more evolved form, complaining is simply the ability to see what’s not working, in one’s own life or in the external world, and it can be quite useful if followed to its natural conclusion—finding a solution and applying it. However, many of us don’t get that far, and we find that complaining has become an end in itself. In small doses, this is not a big problem, but if complaining has become a huge part of our identities, it may be time to take a good look at how we are spending our energy.

Complaining is a person’s way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the way things are. In a metaphorical way, when we complain or criticize, we are tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new. But if all we do is tear down, never bothering to summon the creative energy required to create something new, we are not fulfilling the process. In fact, we are at risk for becoming a stagnant and destructive force in our own lives and in the lives of the people we love. Another issue with complaining is that we sometimes tend to focus on other people, whom we can’t change, as a way of deflecting attention from the one person we can change—ourselves. So transforming complaining into something useful is a twofold process that begins with turning our critical eye to look at things we can actually do something about, and then taking positive action.

When we find ourselves complaining, the last thing we need to do is get down on ourselves. Instead, we can begin by noticing that we are in the mode of wanting to make some changes. But rather than lashing out at somebody or an organization, we can look for an appropriate place to channel this energy—not our neighbor’s house, but possibly parts of our own. Finally, we can ask ourselves the positive question of what we would like to create in the place of whatever it is we want to tear down. When we do this, we channel a negative habit into a creative process, thus using our energy to change the world around us in a positive way.

Guido'd

2008-02-11T11:07:00.001-06:00

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god. Thank you, Ryon, for sending this shit to me. This is the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time. For those of you that don't know, what you see below are referred to as "guidos". If you are interested in learning more about this pathetic breed that hails from the area I like to call home, go here:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=guido

Personally, my favorite definition is as follows:

A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area.

WARDROBE: tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear.

NATURAL HABITAT: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club gear to waste their week's pay on (most likely spotted shopping at "Bang Bang" in Staten Island). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (SF, Webster Hall, Etc.). Most notable for cruising the Jersey shore in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in a feeble attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin' system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted.

GENETIC LINKS: Directly related to modern day urban-guidos, A.K.A. "wiggers," A.K.A. "wegros;" urban-guidos are white males who once exhibited the traits referenced above, but have now instead opted to keep it unreal, with wardrobes consisting of clothes from labels like FUBU and Rocawear which they bought on sale at Macy's. These individuals still listen to the same music and drive the same type of car as their predecessor; it is usually just their choice of attire and use of slang and poor speech skills that differentiate them from the classic guido. Most guidos are distrusting of non-whites despite the fact some of their attire and music can be traced to non-white origins.

PASSTIMES/RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES: Guidos enjoy beating up a non-white or homosexual while assisted by a group of 5-10 guido friends backing them up; engaging in date rape; and displaying their lack of rhythm by dancing poorly in the middle of a club's dance floor while non-guidos look on in disbelief.

If you know a Mike, Joe, Rob or Tony, he's probably a guido.

Please to enjoy the pictures below. They made me laugh... really, really hard.

January 21, 2008
New Jersey Freakshows

by El Presidente (elpresidente@barstoolsports.com)

I can't... I can't... I am crying from this...

I love MSN email

2008-02-06T11:05:00.001-06:00

I have an MSN account that I have had since before 2000... so, a while now. I don't really use it for much of anything anymore, but occasionally, a contact from back in the day will email me on it. Recently, I installed "Windows Live Mail" (ridicule away) so that I could check my SCE mail at work. I also added my MSN account for shits 'n giggles.

I love spam email. It's hilarious. Check this out:

hi sexy thaddeus it is Greta!

ya no it's probably been a couple months since i've spoke ta you!

ya no i've got a brand spankin new website u no you should cum c me u will adore it! hugs n kisses!

<address removed so that you don't click on it>

Need... food... argh...

2008-02-05T08:50:00.001-06:00

I am roughly 40 hours into this whole juice fasting business. I have 8 hours left. Interestingly, I have gone an entire work week without eating anything. That's pretty good. I think that the last 8 hours will be cake.

I don't feel nearly as bad as I thought I would before I started. Yesterday, at around 10-12 hours in, I felt very irritable. I also had a headache and my stomach wouldn't shut up. Last night, I wasn't really thinking about it because I was at class and practicing stuff.

After class, I stopped by the new girl's house to hang out for a bit, then went home. I couldn't fall asleep so easily last night. I am not sure that it was all because of the fasting, but I think it certainly played a part. I was REALLY hungry around 1am. Luckily, I finally fell asleep.

This morning, I feel more hot than anything. I feel like my body is producing heat. I'm not sure exactly what that is, but I like it. I am going to start doing this more often. Maybe I will try for 72 hours next time. I think it would be bad ass if I could get it up to a week. Overall mood wise, I feel really good. Still... I can't wait for 630 when I can eat something.

Anyway... time to work or something.

From the Ross Training Blog

2008-02-01T12:37:00.001-06:00

I saw this video and wanted to post it... when you think you have no more...

Take a moment to watch this brief video (you must watch the end to appreciate the significance).

This video reminds me of a famous Thomas Edison quote. In his words, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
I’ve seen truth in these words at all levels. I know professional fighters who have starred in main event title fights on national television who still doubt their ability. The physical talent is there, but the mind is still trying to hold them back from reaching their true potential.
The mind is certainly powerful. There is no denying this fact. Unfortunately, the mind’s power can work in both directions. The mind can either propel you forward or hold you back. More often than not, the physical talent and potential is present, but the mind prevents the athlete from moving forward.
There are times when you need to turn off that little voice inside your head. Turn it off and go! Don’t think about what you can or cannot do. Just go. Think less and do more. Challenge yourself. You’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish.
As mentioned in the past No Excuses article, I often see athletes who constantly search for a new and better plan. If something isn’t going right, they rarely take personal responsibility. It must be something else, right? Wrong! Often times you simply need a reminder of what REAL work is all about. Hard work is interpreted differently by different people.
For a combat specific example, we occassionally call for additional rounds of sparring when the athlete thinks he is in the final round. For example, the athlete believes he is sparring 6 rounds, but we may call for 8 or 10. Initially, you may be mentally conditioned to assume that you are fatigued in what you believe to be the last round. When you are forced to “suck it up” and continue however, you’ll often surprise yourself (and realize that you have more gas in the tank). Clearly, this isn’t something that the novice should attempt, but as you climb the ladder, you need to do more than is expected of you.
Ross

Don't feel like working...

2008-01-28T16:27:00.001-06:00

Well, I guess the title there says it all. I really don't fell like working. This day started off with me not being able to get out of bed. It's dreary outside... why would I want to get up?? To go to my job? I think not. I don't think I look forward to that on a good day.

Anyway... I get up, get ready, and leave around 9 because by then the traffic is light. Right? Nope, not today. I absolutely LOVE construction on a fucking Monday morning during rush hour. Who's idea was this? Let's hurt him...

All told, it took me about an hour and half of rolling before I finally got to work. It was... awesome. The worst part was when we finally passed the construction area, the traffic STILL didn't pick up. As in, there were no more obstacles, but people were still driving as if there were. Go figure.

So, hopefully, then next hour or so will go by and feel like 30 seconds. I hate pretending that I care about this crap anymore.

On the social front, things have been a lot better than the last post I made. I don't know what was up with me that night. I have been working hard on being more personable when I go out and starting conversations with more people. I have even seen a few girls since then. Nothing serious...

I am tired... meh... oh well... back to work... or something...

Terrified...

2008-01-12T20:43:00.001-06:00

So... once again, I find myself at a point in my life where I am absolutely terrified to be social. I knew all day that this would inevitably happen.

I was invited to a co-workers birthday get together at some dive bar near work. I had been planning on going.

I got up late today. There was some power outage last night, so I didn't sleep well. I basically lounged around, futzed around all day... did nothing.

8pm, I don't know what to wear. 810... I don't want to go. 840pm... I am not sad and angry with myself for not wanting to go... fuck...

I already feel angry and I haven't even left the house yet. I have pretty much already determined that I am going to go there, drink a beer, then leave... which leads me to ask the question, why even fucking go????

Having not even left the house, I already feel saddened by the fact that I know I will not talk to anyone and exist in a public place all alone in my own head. Now, for the reader that is saying "that is stupid, you are being stupid", I say, "I KNOW!". But these are the emotions that come up every time some social even occurs in which I do not know people. I am not sure how to make it stop, wishing doesn't seem to have any affect...

I do not want to go... I don't think I can...

WTF?!?!?!??!??

2008-01-11T16:30:00.001-06:00

I got a call from my friend today. I thought it was going to be good news, but it was not. The company that is supposed to be funding for my salary suffered the loss of it's CTO via suicide. Obviously, this is not a good thing for them as a company. This has caused what should have been a done deal to be thrown up in the air.

Sigh... things were looking so good.

What's the deal...

This sucks...

6 minutes... for blood!

2008-01-11T09:26:00.001-06:00

So, as part of my physical, I had to have blood taken this morning. I was rather dismayed when I walked into the office as there were 4 really old people ahead of me. However, much to my surprise, I was actually in and out of the place in under 10 min. Blood taking and all. Is it bad that I considered bloodrocuting the technician?

YouTube - Dethklok- Bloodrocuted music video

Anyway...

I had entertained the idea of keeping a food journal. I am still thinking about this. I have tried this in the past and it is a lot of annoying work. You need to carry a book around with you everywhere you go and write everything down if you are like me and can't remember the morning hours.

Instead of doing actual work today, I am going to get my 101 list up on my other blog.

Laterz...

Almost sleep time...

2008-01-08T23:20:00.001-06:00

I am waiting for some podcasts to sync, so I thought I would write for a few.

I feel sad tonight.

After work, I went to the store and got some things. When I got home, I cooked dinner, then cleaned up. Pork chops with kale and mushrooms. It was good. It was nice to cook again.

After that, I hung around for a bit, then went to the coffee place close to my house. I was hoping to meet a friend there, but that didn't pan out. Oh well... I drank my drink, read a little bit, then went home.

Since then, I haven't been doing much. I got about 40 Royksopp remixes that I transferred over to the player. Like I said before, I am getting some new podcasts too.

Anyway... so yeah... sad tonight. I guess there are some reasons, but not ones that I am willing to go into here. All things pass... this shall as well. I had better go to sleep so that I am not a zombie in class tomorrow morning. No one likes a kung fu zombie.

G'nite....

Good lunch class...

2008-01-08T14:42:00.001-06:00

9 min jump rope... still getting better.
Tabata Ab stuff
Reviewed 8 animal pakua...
Started Tai Chi Broadsword...

... word ...

Any theories??

2008-01-08T08:52:00.001-06:00

Why in the hell is the theme from "Cheers" playing over and over again in my head? Please submit theories... thank you...

Hahhha... hilarious...

2008-01-06T21:11:00.001-06:00

Yesterday and Today

2008-01-06T16:07:00.001-06:00

This weekend has been very nice so far.

Yesterday morning, Ben called me to tell me that Sifu Don is starting to teach a Brazilian Jiujutsu class at the Cedar Park school. He thought the class started at 930am. When I got there at 930am, they were already 30 minutes into it, but no big deal. They had just covered terminology that I already knew like "guard", "mount", "open guard", etc...

Apparently, that is going to be a weekly class. I am very much down to do that every week. I hope also, that we can get a class together on some week night to practice.

When I got home, I took care of a lot of stuff in the house... laundry, cleaning, etc. It really needed it. I wanted to work out yesterday, but I was very, very sore from the workouts that happened on Thursday and Friday.

After vegging around for a bit, I went out for dinner with Nik, Sarah, and Dave. After that we went to see "Sweeney Todd". It was pretty good... very graphic. So much so, that it's desensitizing. Much like Kill Bill.

This morning, I got up late, ate some breakfast, stayed in bed some more, then got up and went to Target. Now, I am not normally a Starbuck's fan. In fact, they make me very angry b/c they charge for wireless internet. WTF? $3 for coffee and $7 for internet. Fuck that. Anyway.. what I do like from time to time is a coffee type drink. I have been very wary lately about getting them though, with the whole wanting to lose 5lbs (4x) goals. But check this out... you can now get "skinny" drinks. This gets your the sugar free version of the drink made with skim milk. Nice...

Sorry for the tangent. I got the food that I needed at target and went home. I did a small workout today. I am still sore, but needed to move around. I ended up doing:

9 min of jump rope. 9 - 1 minute intervals with 25 seconds rest in between. I am getting better at this. I can now do one jump per rope revolution. Previously, I jumped rope like an 8 year old school girl having to do a mini jump in between the real jump. The rope moved... real... s...l...o...w.....
Tabata Interval

Crunches/Bicycles
Barbell Side to Side thing

For the rest of the day, I don't have much else planned at home. I am going out for sushi with a friend tonight, then, not sure.

Hopefully I will get the "give your job notice" phone call very soon...

Excellent Article

2008-01-04T10:13:00.001-06:00

This article is taken from t-nation.com. It centers around why we train. I love the dig at the end...

ATOMIC DOG
Vision Quest
by TC
The workout's over. Chalk up another one.
I'm a little too shaky to walk to my car so I stop at the coffee shop to sit down and let my nervous system regain its composure. I've left my wrist straps on because, well, it makes the uninitiated think I just broke out of my restraints and I kinda' like that.
I've also got this giant Rorschach-test of a sweat stain on my green shirt that looks like two poodles doing the Heisman Trophy stance. So the sweaty shirt, combined with my wrist straps, is a pretty fair indicator that I've been working out (or, like I said, just broke out of the psychiatric ward).
As I sip my coffee and pore over my training journal, I note with satisfaction that I just batted a thousand, training wise. In other words, I hit at least one more rep or used at least one more pound on everything.
Oy, oy, oy! Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!
That's when I notice Luigi sitting in the corner looking at me. The pudgeball has this quizzical look on his face. He puts down the textbook he's reading and after exchanging the usual bullshit pleasantries, he asks me if I'm writing down how much weight I lifted.
Warily I say, "Sure," without offering any more of an explanation.
Then he hits me with the question.
"Why do you care how much weight you lifted?"
I'm dumbfounded. My mouth's open and I must look like a pole-axed sheep. Insects fly in to leisurely nibble on a piece of egg salad lodged between my molars.
Then Luigi comes back at me with another:
"Why don't you just train to stay in shape?"
My senses are reeling.
Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!
But I recover. Barely. It wasn't my most articulate moment, but I think I said something like, "Well, for the same reason you're presumably reading that book. I want to better myself. I want to improve."
He gives a smug little smile and returns to his book and his soymilk double-frappe-fuckalatte.
Weasel.
But I've been turning Luigi's question around in my head ever since.
Now that I've had some time to think about it, I think this is what I'd say — or what I'd want to say — if asked the same questions again:
"Luigi, when you were a kid, didn't you dream about going off to slay dragons? Didn't you dream about being some kind of hero?

"And as you grew up and realized that you probably wouldn't be slaying any dragons, real or metaphorical, didn't you get tired of just watching others do physical things? Didn't you get tired of only being involved in surrogate achievement, you know, living vicariously through the basketball players, the soccer players, the Italian bocce ball players, or whoever it is you admire?
"Maybe you actually were involved in some organized sport, but if you're like most conventional athletes, you only used weight training as a means to an end. You wanted to be a better tight end or a better power forward, but once you stopped competing in your sport, you stopped weight lifting.
"But you gotta' understand, people like me never stop lifting weights. The part of us that wanted to slay the dragon? It didn't die. It won't.
"We seek to constantly get better, to get the perfect body or set a personal record or just be prepared for all the physical challenges — the what ifs the cosmos dumps on us.
"But we know deep down that the perfect body or ultimate personal record can never really be achieved, because our imagination always sets the goal a step or two or three ahead of what we've accomplished. And we also know that the universe is merciless enough to give us a few physical challenges that we won't be, can't be, prepared for.
"So it's not the goal that's important, it's the journey. The journey's the thing. The journey's the reward.
"There aren't a lot of us in the demographic, Luigi, but goddam we've got a powerful lobby.
"People like me are painfully aware of living in a world drained of spiritual values; who feel alienated; who feel impotent. So we try to be a type of hero. Again, we probably won't slay any dragons, but we train just in case.
"We not only want to look badass, we want to be badass so we can smite evil. And evil has a lot of faces nowadays.
"So we undertake what's much like the classic journey of the hero that Joseph Campbell wrote about: separation from society where we practice denial, endure hardship, experience pain, and ultimately get — or get a part of — what we were seeking.
"The whole training experience is almost like the Vision Quest that was part of the Lakota Indian's life. When the Lakota needed guidance, he'd purify himself in a sweat lodge and forgo food or shelter until he received spiritual guidance — that or a nasty case of heat rash.
"Well, the gym is our sweat lodge and if you don't think a good squat or deadlift workout is purifying, then there are no suitable words to convince you otherwise; you have to experience it yourself. And I tell you, a good workout — no, a great workout, one where you have nothing left and you're sweating and you haven't held back on one rep of one set — is spiritual.
"The Hindu speak of the Kundalini, the Mother Goddess, the divine power that's asleep at the base of the spine. If you arouse it, the phenomena associated with its awakening range from bizarre physical sensations to pain, visions, brilliant light, ecstasy, bliss, and even transcendence of self.
"This may be hard for you to swallow, but when I do a set of heavy overhead barbell presses and feel that peculiar tension in the base of my spine, I think I know what the Hindu are talking about. At the very least, I've had the pain, the visions, and the brilliant light!
"Sure, this all sounds like I'm comparing weight training to religion, but what is it if it isn't a religion? My best thoughts come to me during a workout, and whatever demons I had plaguing me prior to walking into the gym have been exorcised by my exercise. And what's the gym but a temple and what's the clanging of the weights but the peal of the bells?
"I know it's hard for you to understand Luigi, but the people like me practice denial to the point of sometimes being almost monastic. We often avoid people, social events, and rich food, all in the single-minded pursuit of a kind of perfection.
"Yeah, it's sometimes painful, but that's how we achieve heroic status. The more challenging the situation we overcome, the greater our stature. The demon you swallow gives you its power.
"We may never get to fight our dragon, but that's okay. As Joseph Campbell said, the greater life's pain, the greater life's reply.
"And beyond the metaphysical component there's the esthetic component. Sure, most of us want to not only be better, but also look better. We're every bit the sculptors of ancient Greece, only our medium is flesh instead of clay or marble. And if we look better, we might just be worthy of the love of Aphrodite and the pursuit of beauty is a fine and worthy thing.

"But hey, it looks like I've come back the metaphysical, because what's beauty other than the reflection of the divinity of the universe?
"I help maintain this website called T-Nation, Luigi, but don't bother looking at it because I don't think you'd get it. On the surface, it looks like just another site that talks about weights, but it's a lot more than that.
"It's a blend of cerebral pursuits, lusty hedonism, and the pursuit of physical perfection and performance. It's the voice of a type of man that's a hell of a lot more alive than you, but I don't expect you to understand that.
"Have you ever heard of the myth of Theseus and Ariadne? Theseus was a Greek boy who volunteered to kill the half-man, half-bull creature known as the Minotaur. To do so, he had to descend into a labyrinth from which escape was nearly impossible. However, the maiden Ariadne gave him a ball of thread to fasten to the door so that after descending into the labyrinth and killing the Minotaur, he could make his way back.
"That's T-Nation's job, to help people like us find their Ariadne thread, to help guide them through this journey we've all chosen. Oh yeah, it's also T-Nation's job to help you defeat that dragon, or Minotaur, as the case may be.

"So Luigi, that's why I write down what I lifted and that's why I want to get better. I want to be my own hero, be the protagonist in the book of my life and not just some third-rate character whose life is notable only for his total lack of conviction or purpose.
"So have another soy latte, you uncomprehending, weak kneed, pot-bellied, slack jawed, pseudo intellectual waste of flesh."
That's what I should have said to Luigi, but in retrospect, he isn't really deserving of an answer. Heroes-in-training shouldn't have to answer questions about their convictions. They just do what they have to do.

Pretty good day...

2008-01-03T21:54:00.000-06:00

Today was a pretty good day. I am really liking the whole "to-do" list thing (in case you have not seen this, there is a FireFox plugin for RememberTheMilk that can show your ToDo list inside of your GMail) inside of my GMail account.

I felt that it was particularly good b/c I had many an email conversation with someone that I had been wanting to talk to for a while now. Thank you... my heart feels a little better.

Anyway... I got all of my bills paid, I worked from home in the morning, then got dressed and went to Academy where I got a medicine ball and a jump rope (see earlier post). I worked for a bit at the actual office, then went over to Borders. They did not have what I wanted.

When I got home, I chilled out for a little bit, then did a 5 exercise Tabata workout consisting of the following:

1) Mountain Climbers (I hate them, but I do them anyway to show them that they don't own me)

2) Medicine Ball Crunches/Side To Sides

3) Pushups / Planks

4) Lunges w Medicine Ball

5) Standing side to side with a barbell (don't know what else to call this.

After that, I ate dinner, showered, and then came here to the coffee shop. That's pretty much it. I am going home and going to sleep b/c tomorrow is... guess what... back to that bastard (and I mean that in the most endearing way possible) Ryon's class.

Good buy...

2008-01-03T15:01:00.000-06:00

On my way into the office, I was able to pick up a 10lb medicine ball and a new jope rope that hopefully wont suck like the last one that I bought. This is good. My at home Tabata workouts will thank me. Thanks to my grandmother for the $25. It was actually $25.96. Nice.

I am heading to Borders after work to see if there are any of the books there that I want. I've got a $50 gift card there.

I will be hitting it as soon as I get home.

Also, I have finally finished the 101 list. I have actually printed it and put it up on my refrigerator and have started knocking things off. I am in the process of getting the list coded so that it can be blogged and you "fucking assholes" (inside joke) can then hold me accountable.

I hate you SI. I hate you so much...

2007-12-29T11:32:00.001-06:00

Ok... so, my neighbor Vinny, his girlfriend Amanda, and myself tied one on like no one's business last night. Well... I did... I'm not too sure about them = ).

So, Amanda's friend drove us to the ferry terminal. How nice! We will have a ride back, right? NO. Not right.

Let's back up for a second. Vinny and Amanda have a flight to make at 7am. Yes, that's right, 7am. They wanted to leave the bar around 1am. Reasonable. Sleep on the plane sorta thing. The driving friend knows this.

Around, oh, 2am, this girl decides she doesn't want to leave. Nice. How considerate. Personally, I don't care. I don't have to be up at any particular time today. I don't care. I DO however, think that is messed up and that you shouldn't do that to your friends. I wouldn't ever do that to someone.

Vinny, Amanda, Anthony, and I go to get a slice at the pi33aria on the corner (yes, it was leet... that was actually on the awning... the bar was on 33rd and 3rd). Anthony offered to drive us to the ferry. Very nice guy. If not for him, we would have missed the 230am ferry and would have had to sit there until 330am.

Yes, it's the tiny boat. The venerable "John A. Noble". I don't know who John A. Noble was, nor do I really care. He must have been some kind of horrible person b/c they named this shitty little tugboat ferry after him. I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang and a rocking ferry boat, I am not so sure.

We get off the ferry and walk to the "taxi" ramp. They are not taxi's at all. The are guys who drive normal cars and call themselves "car service". Whatever.. just take my home. We get into the minivan cab and there is already a guy waiting there. We are the 2nd fare. Fantastic.

Mr. 2nd fare has no idea where he is going. He is on the phone with his stupid inner city friend who also does not know how to guide him to where he needs to go. I am ready to kill someone.

I am generally pretty good at handling my liquor, but after a ride in a standard mustang, a rocking ferry boat, and a jerky minivan in the rain, I am definitely not so sure... at all. I ask the driver to pull over. I need to give some back. Picture Jackie Chan in "The Legend of Drunken Master". I want to continue fighting, but, my levels aren't right. I feel better, but not by much.

Finally, Mr. 2nd fare figures out where he is going and gets dropped the hell off. The driver proceeds to our area. We guide him using the most direct route. It's like 345am. I want to die.

He misses this turn and pulls a U. He missed that turn and pulls a U. Is this some sort of cosmic joke? Are you for real guy? Lemme see your license! So he gets to our block. I say to him "3/4 of the way down, on the left". He proceeds to jerk stop at every house as if to say "this one? this one? this one? this one? this one?" thus straining even further my estomachal fortitude. He finally jerk stops close enough to my house.

I roll in like a tornado and go to sleep. I hope Vinny and Amanda had a decent flight.

And... to the girl that "didn't want to leave" b/c she was "having too much fun". Fuck you, bitch. I hope I never see you again. You are messed up and mostly what is wrong with people today. I wish you all the trouble and frustration that you caused us.

Have you ever....

2007-12-24T18:05:00.000-06:00

... met the perfect person, but the timing and circumstances are just not right? Sigh...

The Log Of B

Blog Is Moving!

Aviation Misery

Huh?

Schrodinger's Cat

Schrodinger's cat

Crossfit Workout

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November 17, 2008 In the Reality Lounge

Health and Nutritional Things

Meh to Halloween

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A quote from 1984...

A New Political Party?

Some random thoughts...

OMFG

AIG hits up Fed for more money

Three weeks after an $85 billion bailout, AIG is turning to the New York Fed for additional funding.

Roadblocks in Texas? Oh boy...

Please watch and forward, thank you!

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Update

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Dear former job...

Chicken Spaghetti

Chicken Spaghetti

INGREDIENTS:

PREPARATION:

In Mississippi!

New Mobile Blog

Holy crap...

They know what they are talking about...

November 17, 2008
In the Reality Lounge